The Kiss and Our Past
by Marissa Davis
Summary: What would happen if Nathan and Brooke accidentally kissed? Total Brathan and Leyton a little bit of Naley, Brase, and Chaley with mentions of Keith/Karen.
1. Chapter 1

What if Nathan and Brooke accidentally kissed what would happen?

It was the two weeks after graduation and Haley had her baby and named him James Lucas Scott. He was adorable and Haley just asked me to be his godmother. I of course said yes and was thrilled! After that I went up to talk to Nathan. We had become pretty good friends lately. We used to be best friends when we were little but we never talk about that. After he started to date Peyton we kind of drifted, and I will admit only to myself that sometimes I just wish we could go back to that. The world was so much simpler then and he was always there for me, but I couldn't tell him that it would be weird and he would probably think I was freak who was stuck in the past.

"Hey Nate.'' I said walking up to him; he was standing by the door alone.

"Hey Brooke." He said and nodded at me while smiling.

"So this is the last party of our high school lives its pretty real now huh?" I said trying to make conversation.

"Yeah I have to admit I never thought we'd make it here and now its here and its so surreal I'm not sure I'm really ready for the real world yet." He said looking down.

"Hey Nate your ready I know you have been ready your whole life no matter what happens you'll handle it I know you will." I was surprised saying that was so easy, but I was trying to show him how strong and amazing he was.

"Wow thanks Brooke that means a lot." He said smiling at me it looked friendly but his eyes were telling a different story. They were dark mid night colored blue and they were staring right through me like he used to when we were kids.

"Umm yeah so Haley just asked me to be James' godmother and I would be honored." I was trying to start talking about anything I wasn't sure I could handle him looking at me like that.

"Good I'm glad I always want you to be in his life I figured you would be anyway I know how much you love kids." He said.

"Yeah I really do I can't wait till I have some of my own." I said and he looked at me again the same way. Was he trying to tell me something?

"You know I have a surprise for you a gift really for graduation." He said surprising me. Why would he give me a gift?

"Okay what is it?" I asked eagerly while smiling. He smiled and took my hand and led me to an empty room and closed the door.

I was really freaking out on the inside why were we alone in a room in a big abandoned house where no one could find us?

"Where is my present?" I asked trying to stay cool.

He opened a drawer and pulled out a box and handed it to me.

"Here happy graduation." He said smiling

I opened it and my jaw dropped. It was a scrapbook with a picture of us on the cover.

"Wow Nathan this is amazing." I said still shocked. We were standing next to each other looking through it all of the pictures were us growing up until now there were a shit load of pictures!

"So do you like it?" He asked.

"Are you kidding me I love it! Thank you so much Nate it's amazing." I said while tearing up looking at our past. I got to the last page and was shocked. Taped down next to a picture of the two of us at a party dancing really close I noticed was a plane ticket to Paris.

"Nate what is this?" I asked shocked.

"I know that you have wanted to go there all of your life, but never have so I wanted to make your dream come true. I also know that you can meet some great people who can help you with your fashion career."

I couldn't believe it he remembered! He remembered everything I said when we were kids. I was practically balling now this was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for me. I honestly couldn't contain myself any longer.

I jumped into his arm trying to hug him tight but our heads turned the same direction at the same time and before we knew it as I leaped into his arms I accidentally crashed my lips into his.


	2. Realizing What We've Done

_I jumped into his arm trying to hug him tight but our heads turned the same direction at the same time and before we knew it as I leaped into his arms I accidentally crashed my lips into his._

My arms were draped around his neck and his arms were wrapped around my waist. There was no space between us. I wasn't exactly sure how this happened because it had happened so fast. I was trying to give him a hug, but our lips collided instead. My eyes shot wide open as I realized what was happening. His lips were warm and his eyes were closed, and even though this kiss surprised the both of us because it was unintentional neither one of us stopped. Not more than a second after I jumped into his arms and kissed him instead he responded and I couldn't help but respond back. He kissed me so passionately I never wanted it to end. All rational thoughts went right out the window the minute our lips touched. I wasn't thinking about Chase and he obviously wasn't thinking about Haley.

His mouth moved rhythmatically with mine. He knew exactly what to do and how to do it. No one had ever kissed me like this before except Nathan of course a long time ago, and I'm not referring to the whole sex tape thing either. Before that when we were best friends, but I stopped thinking about that because this kiss was so mind blowing it was all I could concentrate on. He didn't hesitate to pick me up and I immediately wrapped my legs around his waste as he laid me on the bed. Our lips didn't part once there was so much heat I almost couldn't stand it.

We only parted momentarily while he started to trail hot kisses down my neck and along my collarbone. I couldn't help but let out a moan because it felt so good and what was scary was it felt right too. He helped me take off my jacket and I practically ripped his shirt off of him. I had to run my hands down his ripped toned abbs they were amazing. His lips crashed into mine again for another desperate kiss. I immediately traced my tongue along his bottom lip as he parted his lips to kiss me fully. We were in our own world it was like we were under a spell that couldn't be broken. Unfortunately it was all of a sudden I felt his pants vibrate. We broke apart and looked at each other really not knowing what to say. He reached in and saw the caller id he froze and I knew who it was. Haley his wife the woman he was supposed to be faithful to and the mother of his child was calling him, as we were about to have sex. He knew it and I knew that if she hadn't called we would have.

He looked at me guiltily, but he didn't answer the phone he put back in his pocket. When he looked back up at me we locked eyes and I knew we had to get back. He was looking at me with those eyes again I couldn't read them, but I knew he was trying to say something. He got off of me and put on his shirt, while I pulled my jacket on and straightened myself up. We didn't say anything we didn't want to ruin the moment even though it already was. We headed back to the party and didn't speak the rest of the night. What could we say to justify what almost happened in that room?


	3. Nathan's Thoughts

**Hey I just want to thank everyone for reviewing I really appreciate it I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and keep giving me feedback thanks again!! Oh and just so you know this whole story is from Brookes point of view if you hadn't noticed already. But this chapter is all Nathan's thoughts. **

Nathan ran out of the room and into the nearest bathroom. What was he thinking? He wasn't the cheating type he never had before and he hated anyone who did. So does that make him a hypocrite? He went to the sink and splashed water on his face it was cold water. He was still shaken up about what had almost happened and what did happen. He couldn't believe that he almost had sex with Brooke, Brooke Davis his old best friend. They used to be so close he told her everything and she always knew what he was feeling she could read him like a book.

It was the same for him he always knew what she was thinking or feeling. They always had this weird chemistry that couldn't be explained. They would sometimes have an entire conversation without words they could read each others faces and just know what the other was thinking it was honestly pretty weird to think about. "What the hell?" Nathan whispered out loud. How could this happen? He thought.

All he wanted to do was give her a nice graduation present. Ever since he moved back into his old house he kept finding all sorts of pictures and things that reminded him of Brooke. So he figured why not give them to her. It hadn't taken him that long to make the scrapbook he knew that was kind of a lame gift to give some one at their age, but he also knew Brooke and Brooke wouldn't care. He was right he saw the tears in her eyes as they looked at it.

He wouldn't trade seeing her expression when she saw the plane ticket for anything. He knew that fashion was important to her probably better than anyone. He knew it was her dream and he wanted her to be happy so he tried to help. Nathan honestly didn't know what possessed him to spend that kind of money on a plane ticket that wasn't even for him, but when he finished making the book it just didn't feel like enough so he finally thought of her going to Paris for the summer before college and it just felt like the right thing to do. He didn't even bother telling Haley about it. Oh shit he thought. "Haley." He whispered. He cheated on his wife Haley.

Nathan felt nothing but guilt. "Why did I let it get as far as it did?" he said to himself. It wasn't Brooke's fault she was excited and he was almost positive all she wanted was a hug. "I just happened to turn my head as she did and it was an accident." He tried to reason with himself but it wasn't working. No matter how it happened accident or not it happened and he didn't know what to do. Should he talk to Brooke about it? Would she blame him? No he thought it wasn't his fault.

He splashed some more cold water on his face. He really needed to calm down. He dried his face and went outside. As he walked out his eyes immediately met Brookes. Why did this always happen when they just looked at each other? It wasn't normal but something was some how pulling them together like magnets and he couldn't look away. He was so busy zoning out on Brooke that he didn't notice Haley come up to him.

"Hey you." She said. Nathan jumped and looked away from Brooke to look at Haley. He felt guilty all over again.

"Hey." He said trying to act calm. Did she see him looking at Brooke did she see him take her into that room?

"Where have you been I've been looking for you and calling you, but you didn't answer." She said not acting like she knew anything.

"Yeah sorry my phone died and I was by the keg talking to Skillz." He said lying and feeling bad about it.

"Oh ok do you wanna get out of here I'm exhausted." She said smiling

"Yeah sure lets go." Nathan said getting one last look at Brooke.

They drove home in silence, which didn't bother Nathan it gave him time to think and try to rationalize his previous actions. The more he thought about it the more he realized that no matter how he looked at it he cheated on Haley with Brooke. It might have started out accidental but he didn't stop it. It just felt so right to be with her he didn't even think about Haley or anyone else. The truth was he really missed Brooke since they drifted and stopped being best friends.

They pulled into the driveway and walked up to James' room to check on him. He was sleeping peacefully which was good considering how tired the both of them were. They walked into their room and changed for bed. Nathan was wearing basketball shorts and a white t-shirt. Haley was wearing a t-shirt and PJ pants. She leaned over and kissed him, which surprised him. It wasn't as hard or quite as passionate as Brooke's kiss but it was fine. No! He thought stop thinking about Brooke she isn't your wife Haley is think about her!

Haley pulled away and said good night. Nathan sank down into the bed and closed his eyes. All he could think about was Brooke. All sorts of memories were passing through his mind especially the most recent one. The truth was no one kissed like Brooke and he hated himself for loving every minute of their time together tonight. His thoughts were interrupted when Haley asked him something.

"Hey are you okay you were acting kind of weird tonight and now your breathing kind of hard." She asked concerned. Nathan turned to her and forced a smile and said, "I'm fine just tired that's all good night." He rolled over hoping she would drop it and go to sleep. He heard her sigh and felt her roll over. He felt himself sigh with relief. What the hell is wrong with me? He thought he loved Haley he really did she was a wonderful mother a great wife except for kissing Chris and going on tour with him, but he couldn't be mad about that anymore he almost slept with Brooke which is ten times worse. She is an amazing woman and he was lucky to have her, but there was something about Brooke that was just so real and passionate that he couldn't not be in her life since she was such a huge part of his for the first 15 years of his life.

But he had to stop what ever it was that was going on. Well technically there is nothing so that was a one time thing he kept telling himself but there was something in the back of his head telling him that it wasn't entirely the truth. He closed his eyes trying to remember all of his good times with Haley, but Brooke all he could really think about was Brooke.


	4. Surprising Night Visitor

Hey guys thanks again for the reviews! So obviously this doesn't follow the season finale very well, but basically all that happened on the show still happened until this episode. They didn't go to the river court, but Rachel did come back and so far Peyton and Brooke aren't going to LA and Lucas and Peyton are happily together!

After the party Brooke and Peyton went home to their apartment. 

"What was up with you tonight?" Peyton asked.

"Nothing why?" I asked kind of panicked.

"Well you were fine at the beginning, then I saw you talking to Nathan for awhile then you were weird." She said looking at Brooke curiously.

"Oh Peyton I'm fine really I just can't believe its over ya know?" I said which wasn't a total lie, but wasn't the whole truth, and she saw her with Nathan did she suspect something?

"Yeah seems just like yesterday we were freshman back when I was dating Nathan and you were after every guy in the school, before focusing on Lucas." She said jokingly.

"Haha!!" I said laughing, but the thought of Peyton with Nathan kind of upset her. It was when they really stopped being best friends.

"Yeah we have been through a lot, but like you said we can't ever be the same as we were we are definitely way better." She said smiling with tears in her eyes.

I came up and gave her a huge hug. "I love you so much P.Sawyer!!" she said also with tears in her eyes.

"I love you too B. Davis you're my best friend forever!" she said.

"Definitely best friends forever we have been through too much and come to far to get new best friends." I said laughing lightly.

We pulled apart and Peyton asked, "Hey is it okay if I spend the night at Lucas' tonight? He texted me on the way home and asked."

"Peyt you know you don't need my permission to spend the night with Lucas I am truly happy for you guys I've always known you two belonged together." I said smiling

"Thanks." Peyton said as she hugged me again. "I'm just gonna grab a few things and head out." She said walking into their room.

She walked out with a little duffle bag and said good night and left.

"Well now I'm all alone. What does one do all alone?" I asked myself out loud. I considered calling Chase. He was a great guy but after that whole thing with Nathan it was too soon and weird.

I'll just eat some ice cream and get into my pajamas and watch a movie I thought. I watched The Notebook first and by the end I was in tears. After I put in The Wedding Planner and fell asleep about the time Jennifer Lopez was drunk hanging out with Matthew McConaughey.

It wasn't until about 3 O'clock in the morning that I woke up because someone was banging on the door like a mad man. Who is knocking on my door at I looked at the clock three in the morning! I thought. I swung open the door ready to yell at the person, but my mouth flew open instead.

"Nathan." I whispered breathlessly.

He was dressed in blue basketball shorts and a wife beater he wasn't wearing shoes and he was just staring at her. His look was so intense that I almost screamed just so he would react to something and stop looking at me like that. It sent about a thousand shivers up and down my spine.

"We need to talk." Was all he said as he pushed past me into the apartment.

I didn't know what to do so I shut the door and followed him in.

"Is Peyton here?" He asked looking around.

"No." was all I said I was still shocked he was here in the middle of the night. "What are you doing here?" I asked finally finding my voice again.

"I told you." He said walking toward me slowly with a certain fire in his eye. "We need to talk." As he was getting closer all I could think to do was back up, but he just kept walking towards me.

"Okay." I said shakily. "Why don't we sit down at the counter or the couch?" I said quickly he was right in front of me and my back had hit the door there was nowhere for me to go.

"How about we just stay right here." He said and took one step closer. There were only a few centimeters between us I could feel his hot breath on my face. I looked up at him and just stared. I didn't know what to do or say, but the heat was building just like before and I started breathing harder.

I could hear his breath quicken also. "So what do you want to talk about?" I asked not really being able to think. He was standing so close and the worst part is that I liked it, a lot.

"Shhh." Was all he said before crashing his lips into mine, for the second time that night. I tried so hard to not kiss back and push him away, but I couldn't. It felt so good to feel his lips on mine to have his body rub against mine. He pushed me harder against the wall as the intensity of the kiss grew. He moaned into my mouth, and I smiled into his kiss. He picked me up again and I wrapped my legs around his waist for the second time that night also.

I ran my fingers through his hair and his hands were firmly on my waist letting me know I wasn't going anywhere. We broke apart for a second only when it became too much and we absolutely couldn't breath anymore. We were both breathing so hard and thinking the same thing; we never wanted this to stop. He looked at me again for a second before consuming my mouth with his again for another hot, passionate kiss.

**Please review to tell me what you think!!**


	5. How We Feel

**Ok here's the next chapter thanks for all of the reviews you don't know how much it helps!!!**

_I ran my fingers through his hair and his hands were firmly on my waist letting me know I wasn't going anywhere. We broke apart for a second only when it became too much and we absolutely couldn't breath anymore. We were both breathing so hard and thinking the same thing; we never wanted this to stop. He looked at me again for a second before consuming my mouth with his again for another hot, passionate kiss._

He was kissing me so hard my lips were going to be swollen for hours, but it felt so good I didn't care. I was up on the wall and Nathan was right there it honestly didn't feel real. If anyone would have asked me if Nathan Scott and I would be doing this right now merely 12 hours ago I would have laughed in their face and told them they were crazy. No matter how I thought about it we always had an intense connection it was a passionate chemistry that really couldn't be explained. I loved it though Nathan made me feel so good like nothing else I had ever felt before.

Things were escalating quickly and now he was peeling off my shirt and I was dying to do the same. Right after both our shirts landed on the floor I really realized what was going on and I had to stop it. Nathan's lips were pressed to mine and I almost violently pushed him off of me and I took his hands off of me, because if I didn't do it now it would be too late and we would have crossed the line. He backed up surprised that I had stopped so suddenly. "What?" he asked.

"What are we doing?" I asked. He just looked at me the realization hitting him also. " I don't know." He said softly. "You don't know?" I asked disbelieving. "You came here at three in the morning and woke me up and well you better as hell know what your doing!" I yelled angrily.

"Look Brooke calm down okay this is all so weird and new." He said trying to reason with me.

"Calm down?" I asked again my voice raising. "Nate your married and I have a boyfriend!!" I couldn't believe this I was betraying Chase and Haley she was one of my best friends I mean not as close as Peyton but still a really close friend.

"I know okay I know don't you think I hate myself for this Brooke cheating on Haley showing up here like this, but I couldn't sleep because of you Brooke you were all I could think about!!" He yelled at me.

He was thinking about me? I was pissed at the moment but knowing he was thinking about me made me smile, even though I tried not too I couldn't help it. Damn him. I covered it up quickly though and said, "Well that doesn't quite justify you showing up here unexpected and kissing me."

"You could have said no or told me to leave its not like I forced you to do anything and I wouldn't even be here if you hadn't kissed _me _he said emphasizing **me** earlier at the party."

"Oh that was not my fault I was trying to give you a hug and thank you for my present…" I stopped mid sentence realizing I left the gift at the house. "What?" he asked. "I left it there." I said quietly.

"Oh just get it tomorrow it's not like anyone would take it. No one even knew it was there." He said.

I just looked at him. "Well anyway I didn't mean to kiss you at all it was an accident." I said defending myself.

"Well B you were always accident prone but damn nothing like this ever happened before." He said smirking and then adding "well accidentally at least." He looked at me basically daring him to say he was wrong, but he wasn't. Then I realized he called me B he always used to do that. It was his special name for me. Mine was Nate, but of course when we were best friends I was the only one aloud to call him that. Now everyone did and it always had pissed me off, but I let it go.

"This is not funny stop smirking at me like that _Nate_!!" I said trying to throw that back at him which was pretty stupid, but I really couldn't think straight no one ever made me feel like this and I scared the hell out of me.

"Listen Brooke I really don't understand what the hell is going on, but it happened and we can't take it back." Nathan just stared I don't know why he always had to do that it made trying to do the right thing so freaking difficult.

"But we can act like it never happened." I said sadly.

"Do you really believe that?" He asked disbelieving. "You think something like that accidentally or not could just happen and we just act like it was nothing?"

I had to hold my ground this was wrong and I just couldn't do it too many people were involved and were going to get hurt. "Yes." I said lying through my teeth. He came up and stood right in front of me and pressed his fore head against mine. He knew I was lying I could tell, like I thought earlier he knew absolutely everything about me.

"Fine." He said huskily "I'll just leave and we will forget about this whole night." He didn't move though he stayed right there and didn't take his eyes away from mine. His fore head was still pressed against mine and my heart was beating so fast and loud I thought it was going to burst out. Without another second of hesitation I closed the gap between us and slammed my lips against his. It was a raw and a real deep kiss.

It was passionate and intoxicating at the same time. It was wrong so wrong, but its like that song "The Wright Kind of Wrong.'' He was and I couldn't stop. I had to pull away again we were both panting really hard. I walked over to the door and opened it. "You should go." I said breathlessly. He looked at me almost sadly and nodded. He wanted to stay and I wanted him to stay more than anything, but what if Haley woke up and he wasn't there? Just those thoughts made me want to vomit and hit something all at once.

He walked right out side the door and turned around unexpectedly and kissed me again, but he pulled away soon after we both knew we couldn't stop if it wasn't short and we weren't touching. He was still standing over me looking at me like it was the last time he ever would and finally started backing up saying, "Good night B" and walking away.

**Okay you guys know what to do press that pretty purple button and tell me what you think I need to read your thoughts!!**


	6. Breakfast and Closet Confrontations

**Hey guys thanks for reviewing!! So this story isn't going to go forward years into the future some of you guys have asked if I was going to do that and I'm not its all going to take place in the summer before college. Hope you like the next chapter and also does anyone think they should be longer or shorter?? Please review and let me know!**

After Nathan left I cleaned up and went to bed. I tried to sleep but it was impossible I couldn't believe he would just show up like that in the middle of the night and practically attack me! Ok so he didn't attack me but damn he definitely kissed me this time. What am I going to do? I kept thinking about Lucas and Peyton and what they did to me. I had never felt so betrayed, but now I was doing the same thing only it was a lot worse. One Nathan is married and has a baby with her, two since something like this already happened to me, me doing it just makes me a hypocrite and three uggghh he is married!! I put my hands over my face and sighed in frustration. Haley is an amazing friend I love her to death I can't do this to her its not fair. I thought back to Lucas and Peyton I know them both they didn't do it to hurt me. After I found out and Peyton was always apologizing she said something to me that I'll never forget.

_Flashback_

"_Brooke I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to happen!"_

"_Yeah Peyton maybe you didn't mean for this to happen but it sure as hell did!" I yelled angrily like she could just apologize and it was all better. _

"_Brooke I don't know what to say I love you you're my best friend and I shouldn't of let some guy come between us I just hope you can forgive me."_

"_Your right you shouldn't have done that he was my boyfriend Peyton!!" I was so pissed and upset I couldn't be there anymore. I turned around and started to walk away from her when she said something to me I didn't expect to hear._

"_You can't help who you love Brooke its one of the only emotions you can't control and I don't know you just can't help it!"_

_I thought about it and kept walking._

Present

She was right. Love is something you can't control. Wait what am I thinking I don't love Nathan I can't love Nathan well ok I do but as a friend is all right? Of course that's all this thing doesn't mean anything its just one mistake right after the other and that was what she was going to tell Nathan next time I see him.

I got up the next morning to my cell phone ringing I reached over to answer it.

"Hello?" I asked mumbling.

"Hello sleepyhead wake up!" My head shot right up it was Haley!

"Haley hey what are you doing up this early?" I said I didn't even know what time it was.

"Early Brooke its almost noon." She said. I looked at the clock whoa it was almost noon I must have fallen asleep around four the night before.

"Oh right just a late night ya know?" I said laughing trying to relax.

"Yeah well I was wondering if you wanted to come over here and eat breakfast and just hang out I am going to call Peyton and Rachel too." She said.

"Oh your inviting Rachel, I thought you hated her?" I asked ever since the beginning of the year when Rachel was constantly hitting on Nathan Haley had rightfully hated her.

"I did, but ever since I had James I am trying to not hold any grudges, besides I can't exactly blame her for wanting Nathan he is hot!" She said laughing I laughed lightly too even though I was not in the mood to joke around with her about how hot Nathan was I could clearly see for myself.

I put my hand on my forehead and rubbed it the guilt was so bad I was getting a headache. Haley noticed the silence and asked, "Hey Tigger are you still there?"

I sighed but she didn't hear and said, "Yeah Tutor Girl I'm still here."

"Okay well can you drag your lazy butt out of bed and be over here in like 30 minutes?"

"Yeah sure I'll be there." I said

"Alright great!" Haley said perkily, "I'll see you in a few" and hung up.

I rolled out of bed and took a shower and started to get ready. I was not looking forward to this.

I got over there about 30 minutes later and let myself in. Peyton and Rachel were already there with Haley and laughing when I walked in.

"Hey B. Davis!" Peyton was the first one to see me and she got up and gave me a quick hug.

"Hey P. Sawyer!" I said as I hugged her back when we pulled away she looked at me kind of curious I think she could see right through the fake cheerful act I was pulling. She gave me one of those 'we'll talk later' looks and sat back down on the couch.

"Hey bitch!" Was my next greeting and it was obvious who said it, I grinned and replied. "Hey whore!" She looked up at me and smiled.

"Brooke I'm so glad that you're here!" Haley said as she hugged me.

"Of course I never turn down free breakfast since I can't cook to save my life." I said while laughing. Maybe this wouldn't be so hard.

"Yeah I think I know that better than anyone!" Peyton said while laughing next to Rachel on the couch.

"What are you talking about Peyton?" I asked while smiling.

"Remember when we were 12 and you tried to surprise me by making pancakes on my birthday and you almost burned down my kitchen?" She was cracking up by the time she finished I was too remembering. The other two were laughing hard as well.

"Well excuse me for trying to cook for my best friend on her birthday." I said while sticking my tongue out at her. She did the same thing.

"Haley as I recall in your phone call you said something about breakfast where is it I turn into a real bitch when I'm hungry!" Rachel said.

"Yeah like you need to be hungry to be a bitch." Haley said smiling.

"Hey I think I like this Haley you know unlike the Haley that pours her drink on me and bitch slaps me all over the place." Rachel replied and looked at Haley both of them laughed. It was nice that everyone was finally getting along after everything we could all be friends.

Nathan walking in with 4 bags of food from Karen's Café interrupted my thoughts; he sat them on the counter and turned around to look at us. I saw him freeze when he saw me. He recovered after about a second of looking at me and forced a smile when Haley jumped up and gave him a hug and a light peck on the lips. Even though all it was, was a peck it still made my stomach all tight watching them act all couple like.

The other two walked over to the counter where the food was while I was still in a daze until Rachel snapped me out of it by yelling, "hey fat ass come and eat!" Haley and Peyton laughed a little and I forced a smile and got up walked over to them. I was avoiding looking at Nathan at all costs it was a lot harder when I knew he was standing by the refrigerator staring at me. I shook off the shivers and started unpacking one of the bags. The other three sat around the island and started eating as I made a plate.

I started looking for the blueberry crème cheese because that's what I always ate on my bagels and I didn't see any in the bag. I walked over to the refrigerator, to get some when Nathan turned around and handed it to me. He said quietly "I remember it's your favorite." I smiled weakly at him and said "thank you" and walked back over to the island. The four of us ate together and talked about our favorite high school memories and laughed at each other's stories. Nathan made his plate and took into the living room to watch TV. I would be lying if I said I wasn't relieved he wasn't eating with us, I felt guilty enough.

Rachel's phone went off and she looked to see who it was and said, "shh it Mouth" and started talking. When she got off she said, "Hey guys this has been fun but I am going to go meet Mouth at the river court."

"What is going on with you guys anyway?" Peyton asked.

"I don't know I mean I thought he would always just be my friend, but when I found out about him and Shelly I was really upset." She said.

"Well why don't you talk to him about it." Haley said.

"I don't know I don't think he would want to be with me after everything." She said sadly. The three of us looked at each other knowing Mouth would want to be with her if she was just honest with him.

"I think you should tell him." I said they would be really good for each other I thought.

"Okay I'll do it." She said happily and waved good-bye and left.

"I hope everything works out for them." Peyton said. Right after her cell phone went off and it was Lucas wanting to hang out with her so she waved good-bye and left. It was now just me and Haley and I didn't like that very much.

''Well it looks like no one likes us." Haley said jokingly.

"Yeah I guess we aren't cool anymore." I said trying to keep things light.

"Lets go see what Nathan is doing." She said and got up to walk into the living room, I didn't want to but I followed her in there.

Nathan was lying on the couch watching a basketball game. His hair was a little messy from lying down, but he looked so cute. No Brooke stop it I told myself.

"Hey mind making some room for us?" Haley asked. He looked up at us and sat up. Haley went and sat on the other side of the couch leaving Nathan in the middle of us. I tried to sit as far away as possible from him so we weren't touching at all. "Its okay Davis I don't bite." He said and Haley laughed even though I knew he was trying to be funny I could see in his eyes how uncomfortable he was with this.

"I'm not worried about you biting me." I said quietly as I moved over a little bit, but making sure we still weren't touching. I shivered from being cold because I wasn't wearing a sweater just a tight t-shirt. "Are you cold Brooke?" Haley asked.

"I'm fine." I said. "You should go get one of Nathan's sweat shirts they are so comfortable." She said trying to help me.

"Its okay really I'm fine." I said hoping she wouldn't push it. But she kept insisting on it so I finally caved and walked up stairs to their room to find a sweatshirt in their closet. I saw a black Ravens one and I tried to reach for it, but it was to high up and I couldn't reach. "Just great." I said out loud. I stood on my tiptoes but I still couldn't reach it. I stopped mid reach when I felt like I was being watched.

I turned to look over my shoulder and I saw Nathan standing by the closet door. His eyes were on mine and he didn't say anything. I turned around and tried to reach for it again, and I heard him walk into the closet and toward me. He stopped right behind me basically towering over me. I could feel his breath as he reached over me and grabbed the sweatshirt that I couldn't reach.

He slowly brought his arm back down holding the sweatshirt in his hand. He handed it to me from behind and I took it. He took one step closer so he was directly behind me and put his hand on my shoulders. There was once again no space between us. He moved his hands down my arms to my sides, which of course made me, shiver all over. His hands were on my waist and my body temperature was rising so fast I thought I was going to explode.

I took a shagged breath dropped the sweatshirt on the floor. I turned around and grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him as hard as I possibly could. It didn't even take him a second to immediately respond and push me backwards against the wall. My whole body was on fire and I loved it. I raked my fingers through his raven colored hair as he explored my mouth. Our hands were everywhere until finally he grabbed mine and put them over my head. Our breaths were shallow as his intense mid night colored blue eyes were looking into mine telling me what he wanted to do.

My eyes told him I wanted what he wanted and he kissed me hungrily. I started to take his shirt off when we heard Haley's voice asking us what was taking so long. We jumped apart and wiped our mouths and walked out of the closet. Haley walked in and asked, "Hey what were you two doing in there?" She wasn't mad and you could tell she didn't suspect anything. We were both about to answer when we all heard a baby cry come from James' room.

"Oh I'll be right back." She said. And walked out of the room. Nathan turned to look at me. I was about to say something when he said, "Meet me tonight at the river court at mid night okay we really need to talk." And with that he walked out of the room into James' room. I just stood there for a second feeling like crap. I walked into the hallway and I could hear them both talking to James trying to get him to stop crying, and I personally felt like crying thinking about what we were doing in the closet.

"Hey Haley I am gonna go ahead and go Chase just called me and he wants to hang out." I said lying, but I had to get out of there to clear my head. Nathan felt angry thinking she was going to go be with Chase. He didn't want her to leave to go hang out with him. Wait was he jealous? Haley's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Okay just call me later and tell Chase I said hey." She said. He could hear the front door close and Brooke's car starting he walked over to the window and saw her drive away. They really had some stuff to figure out, he just had to think of a way to meet her without Haley knowing.

**Okay tell me what you think and also I want to know what you guys want to happen when they meet later so please review!!**


	7. My Secret Past

**Hey guys thanks again the reviews are amazing they totally make my week!!**

_He could hear the front door close and Brooke's car starting he walked over to the window and saw her drive away. They really had some stuff to figure out; he just had to think of a way to meet her without Haley knowing._

I drove home as fast as I could I could not believe that I had just done that in Nathan and Haley's closet what the hell was wrong with me? I was so tired from the night before I really needed some sleep. I got home and immediately went to bed I was exhausted. As I laid there I was more than a little confused. He wanted to meet me at midnight at the river court. If I went then he might think that I wanted something out of this that I was reading into it more than I should. It was me and Nathan after all we could never not be in each others lives at all.

This was the most random thing to ever happen to me. If I didn't go then he would think I wanted nothing to do with him which was the complete opposite. That was the problem and I knew it wasn't good I was falling faster than I had ever fallen for anyone before and it really needed to end. I should go there tonight and tell him that it can't go anywhere else. We were lucky that it hadn't gone farther than it had.

I closed my eyes and all of our memories were coming back to me it was so over whelming. After I basically relived Nathan's and mine whole history I finally fell asleep and had the worst kind of nightmare possible. It was the worst because it was a real I was reliving the worst moments of my life and I started tossing and turning all over the bed and I couldn't stop. I was whimpering and I wanted this dream to go away I wanted to wake up so I could go on pretending that it had never happened.

_Flashback_

_I was nine years old and my parents who were surprisingly here for a change were having a huge business slash Christmas party. I had made my rounds at the party and I couldn't help but notice this one business associate who kept staring at me it was really creepy. He was like 40 and he kept checking me out, but I tried to ignore him._

_After awhile I was tired of the party and went upstairs I hung out there for awhile and watched a movie before I realized I was still wearing my dress so I decided to change out of it. I had begun to unzip it when all of a sudden the guy walked into my room and slammed the door. I jumped and turned around with a look of fear and confusion. He kept walking toward me and I tried to get by him but he just walked right in front of me. He grabbed my arm tightly and I started to open my mouth to scream but he threw me on the bed and immediately covered my mouth to smoother the scream._

_I could smell the alcohol on his breath and I was absolutely terrified. I tried to push him off and I was screaming into his hand, but no one could hear me. I started to cry and he just kept touching my whole body and he took off my dress. I tried kicking him, but that just upset him and he slapped me hard across the face. I started crying harder I wish Nathan was here. He would know what to do. Because it was Christmas his parents wanted him to spend it with them. I closed my eyes as I continued to try to kick and punch him away._

_I tried to block out what was actually happening by remembering the moment that completed my life. The day I met my best friend in the whole world and the boy who later would steal my heart and never give it back. The day I met Nathan Daniel Scott at the age of 5._

_Present_

I woke up in a cold sweat. I hated having those nightmares I hated the fact that I let some stupid drunk guy take my virginity at the age of nine. I started sobbing remembering that night he was so strong and I couldn't get away I wanted to but he just kept threatening me. After he was done before he walked out of the room he grabbed my hair and pulled my face right next to his and said, "If you ever tell anyone about this I will kill you and everyone you love. You got it!" He pushed me away and walked out of the door winking before he left.

I never told anyone that before not even Peyton or Nathan. I thought about it but I always decided against it. That was really the only thing Nathan didn't know about me. I wiped the tears away and took another shower. I turned on the water and it was scorching hot. I let the beads of water just hit me and drench my body. It was times like these, right after I think about that night or any of the nights he returned to my room while my parents were out of town which was often. It only took him 4 years to finally get bored of me and stop because he got transferred to Florida for business.

The temperature of the water was too much for me now, and I turned it off. I got out of the shower and re dressed. I stood there and looked in front of the mirror and just looked at myself. As far as the world knows I'm Brooke Davis the most popular girl to graduate from Tree Hill high the girl that every guy wanted and all the girls wanted to be. If anyone would take a second to look closer maybe they would see that my eyes almost show no emotion half of the time, that when ever I am alone I have horrible flashbacks of a time in my life where I was forced to grow up before I was ready. Everyone thought I was a huge slut who just gave it up to every guy I saw.

That was the farthest thing from the truth. I will be the first to admit that I have done some things that I am not proud of, but I used the sex and the alcohol to finally feel something other than the pain from all of the rapes and numb away all of the memories that I just wanted to forget. I sighed and almost started crying again thinking about the fact that Nathan hadn't caught on and figured it out. Part of me is glad that he never did, but the other part wishes that he would figure it out and hold me as I told him the horrible truth. There were a few times when we were around 13 and he asked questions about why I wasn't acting like my self or why I was so quiet. I would just put on a fake smile and lie saying I was just tired or something.

I shook my head at the thought and lay on the couch flipping through the channels to see if anything was on. Of course nothing was so I decided to do something that usually helped me clear my head. I grabbed my I pod and walked out to my car. I turned on Linkin Park's Somewhere I Belong and took a drive.

Driving always helped me because it was just me and the music. This music was definitely not a characteristic of me usually but then again no one really knows the real me. I drove all over town just thinking I was a mess and I had to get it together. I went home after about an hour and a half. When I walked in I was alone again. 'All alone' I thought that's just what I am that's what I'll always be no matter what.

I sighed and went to bed again hoping this time I would dream about happier times when it was just me and Nathan and nothing else mattered. The truth is no matter how hard I try I just can't forget him and I wish he knew how badly I needed him. Little did I know at the time that he might be the only thing in the world that could really save me from myself. I lifted up my sleeve and stared at all of the scars that were there as a result of the pain and loneliness I have endured over the years.

**Okay I know that was really different and dark and I'm sorry if you all hated it. I was just trying to put a little more angst in it. When I sat down this was all I could come up with. Please review and tell me what you think!! And please keep reading future chapters!!**


	8. My Clear Sign and Our Song

**Hey thank you so much for those amazing reviews!! I hope you like this next chapter it has lots of good Brathaness!!**

_I sighed and went to bed again hoping this time I would dream about happier times when it was just me and Nathan and nothing else mattered. The truth is no matter how hard I try I just can't forget him and I wish he knew how badly I needed him. Little did I know at the time that he might be the only thing in the world that could really save me from myself. I lifted up my sleeve and stared at all of the scars that were there as a result of the pain and loneliness I have endured over the years._

Peyton had been gone all day and I had the day to just think and sleep. I of course didn't get much sleep, every time I closed my eyes I would just see that creep coming into my room at the age of 9, 10, 11, 12, then finally at 13 which was the last year and it finally ended. Unfortunately the pain and memories didn't end there, but at least the rapes did. I shook my head of those thoughts and got up.

That was the past and now I had to think about the present. It was 11:30 and I didn't know what I was going to do. What would he have to say to me that he wanted to sleep with me or that this was all just a huge mistake and we would never talk about it again? I sighed. This whole thing was confusing the hell out of me and I didn't like it.

The truth is if he were to say it was a mistake then I honestly don't know if I could take that. But if he said that he wanted this what would I be his second girlfriend? His go to girl because I could never sink that low just so I wasn't as lonely. I deserved better than that especially after everything I had been through. I ran my hands over my face and tried to relax.

Before I honestly knew what I was doing I was grabbing my keys and started to walk to my car. I got in it and just sat there thinking about what I was about to do. 'I need a sign of some sort to tell me what to do.' I thought. 'I could play the radio game.' I put my keys into the ignition and started the car and waited to hear what the first song on the radio was. As soon as the song started I immediately knew from the chords of the guitar what it was. I almost started to cry thinking about the first time I heard this song.

_Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do_

_Flashback to age 14_

_It was the winter dance at school and I had a date of course until the last minute when he called and cancelled claiming he was sick! What kind of dumb ass gets sick the day before the dance? I was mildly depressed because now I had no one to go with. Nathan had asked Peyton to go as friends even though I knew they both had crushes on each other._

_So I figured I could just stay home and Peyton or Nathan could tell me how it went later. Peyton really wanted me to go with her and Nathan, but I was not going to be the third wheel on their date. She finally accepted it and went with him. I spent the whole night by myself watching movies and eating pretty much everything in the whole house. _

_I went upstairs into my room and closed the door when all of a sudden my phone started ringing. I looked at the caller id and smiled because it said Nathan's name on it._

"_Hey how was the dance?" I asked._

"_Oh it was pretty good. It would have been better if you had been there I missed you B."_

"_Aww I missed you too, but I wouldn't have had any fun. I was dateless remember?" I asked smiling slightly._

"_Yeah what kind of person gets sick that soon before a dance I mean come on?" He said kind of angrily._

"_Yeah I know, but I'm over it I spent the whole night watching movies and eating so I had a fantastic time by myself." I said trying to sound optimistic._

"_Well I still wish you would have come I mean you could have had fun with me and Peyton." He said softly. 'God why does he have to be so sweet' I thought._

"_Hey its ok I was fine but how was your date with Peyton?" I asked even though it bothered me that they liked each other._

"_It was fine Peyton is really cool and hot to boot." He said jokingly. I laughed as well as him._

"_That's good." I said._

"_So what are you doing right now?" He asked._

"_Nothing why?" I asked as soon as I said that there was a knock at my door and I walked over to it to answer it. And big surprise it was Nathan smiling with a dozen red roses in his hands._

"_Oh my god Nate!!" I said excitedly as I leaped into his arms to give him a big hug, which he completely returned. _

"_Hey B." He said smiling as we parted although I wish we could have hugged longer._

"_What are you doing here?" I asked still surprised he had come to my house I mean it was like 12:30 at night._

"_I didn't want to go the whole day without seeing my best friend and I didn't want you to be alone." He said genuinely._

"_Thanks Nate and what are these?" I said pointing to the roses, which happen to be my favorite, and he knows that._

"_Oh you mean these lovely red roses in my hand?" He asked kidding._

"_Yes of course those are they for me?" I asked hopefully._

"_No I brought them for your mom actually is she here?" He asked smiling looking around._

_I punched his shoulder because I knew he was kidding. He laughed and smiled at me and handed them to me._

"_I bought them earlier today and I have been keeping them at my house while I was at the dance. I knew I was going to come over eventually so I thought why not bring them now?" He said._

"_Well thank you so much Nate they're beautiful." I said smelling them and putting them in a vase I have in my room._

"_So the dance was really fun?" I asked with general curiosity._

"_Yeah like I said it was okay." He shrugged._

"_Well I'm glad I didn't miss anything spectacular or else I would have been mad at myself." I said looking at him._

"_You know since you missed it maybe we can like reenact it or something." He said._

"_What do you mean reenact it?" I asked confusingly._

_He walked over to my stereo and turned on the radio and said, "We will dance to the next song that comes on the radio okay?" _

_I just smiled and walked over to him and laughed._

"_What?" He asked smiling._

"_Nothing its just Nate I'm in my pajamas I look ridiculous and you and I both know I'm not the master of the dance floor." I said looking down._

_He put his hand under my chin and lifted it up so I was looking in his eyes and said, "B your beautiful." And I couldn't help but smile at his words. He was the only one who could make me feel better with out even trying. He smiled too as a slow song I hadn't heard before came on._

_Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do about you now_

_He put his arms around my waist and I put mine around his neck and we started slow dancing together in the middle of my room in perfect rhythm. My head lay on his chest and we just moved together perfectly._

_Backbeat the word was on the street  
That the fire in your heart is out  
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
The way I do about you now _

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
There are many things that I would  
Like to say to you  
I don't know how 

_I looked up at him and smiled, he smiled back with that gorgeous smile of his and I felt and very strong connection to him it was an electricity or a spark and I loved how it made me feel._

_Because maybe  
You're gonna be the one saves saves me?  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall_

"_You know B I really like this song, it reminds me of you." He said looking right at me. _

"_Yeah me too I've never heard it before, but it reminds me of you too." I said looking right back at him._

_Today was gonna be the day  
But they'll never throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you're not to do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do  
About you now _

And all the roads that lead to you were winding  
And all the lights that light the way are blinding  
There are many things that I would like to say to you  
I don't know how 

"_Maybe it could be like our song or something?" He asked me almost shy like, but he was looking at me so intensely._

"_Yeah it should." I said smiling at him._

_I said maybe  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
And after all  
You're my wonderwall_

"_So now every time you hear it you have to think of me it's the rules." He said teasing me._

"_I will as long as every time you hear it you think of me." I said playing along._

"_Deal." He said_

_I lay my head back on his shoulder and couldn't help but notice how perfect we fit together as we listened to the song._

_I said maybe  
You're gonna be the one who saves me?  
And after an  
You're my wonderwall _

Said maybe  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
You're gonna be the one that saves me  
You're gonna be the one that saves me 

Present

The song ended and I was in tears in the front seat of my car. I looked at the clock and it read 12:10 I was late to meet Nathan. And without another second of hesitation I wiped the tears from my face and took off heading for the river court.

**You know I really enjoyed writing this. Brathan is just amazing, anyway please review and tell what you think I love know what you guys think!! Oh and that song was Wonderwall by Oasis which I think totally fits Nathan and Brooke!**


	9. Meeting at the River Court

**Thanks again for the reviews!! So it's finally here the meeting at the river court I hope you enjoy it!!**

_The song ended and I was in tears in the front seat of my car. I looked at the clock and it read 12:10 I was late to meet Nathan. And without another second of hesitation I wiped the tears from my face and took off heading for the river court._

I drove to the court as fast as I can without breaking the speeding law too much. I mean 15 over is it that much? I was getting more nervous by the second I didn't know what I was going to say to him. I was never like this with guys I was always the one in control always confident and never nervous. 'Why was Nathan so different?' I thought.

I pulled up and didn't see anyone. I got out of the car and walked over to the pick nick table and looked around I still didn't see any one. 'He couldn't even wait 15 minutes for me?' I thought disbelieving. "Must not of needed to talk to me that bad." I whispered to myself. I took one more look around and started to walk back to my car. My eyes were on the brim of tears as I walked back; alone again I couldn't help but think.

When I reached my car my eyes shot wide open as I saw lying on the hood were 12 red roses. I picked them up and smelled them. The memory of the night we danced in my room was coming back to me again. I noticed there was a card so I grabbed it to read it. _I was hoping you would show up… turn around._

I did as I was told and immediately spun around to come face to face with Nathan. We didn't say anything I could tell he was trying to read what I was thinking like he always did when we were younger. He walked up to me and stood directly in front of me. We stood there for what seemed like forever just staring before he finally spoke and said, "I'm glad you came."

"I almost didn't." I said truthfully. He grabbed my hand and led me over to the pick nick table and we sat side-by-side still holding hands. "So how long have you been here?" I asked actually trying to make some conversation. "Not long maybe 30 minutes." He said. "How did you get here?" I said looking around for his car incase I missed it earlier.

"I walked." He said simply like it was totally obvious. I nodded and looked up at him. He was staring at me and I could have sworn his eyes changed emotions when my eyes locked with his. "So…" I said once again trying to get somewhere with this. "We need to talk." He said. "Yeah you said that earlier." I said still looking at him.

"What's going on Brooke?" He asked like I knew the exact answer. "I don't know Nate." I said and sighed this was going to be hard. "It's weird last night when we were talking and then looking through those pictures it felt like nothing had ever changed between us. It was nice to feel like that again." He said honestly.

"Yeah it did." 'I completely agreed with that it felt amazing acting like we were still the same.' I thought.

"What happened to us Brooke?" He asked turning towards me.

"I don't know we grew up and you started dating Peyton and then we just grew apart I guess." I said trying to explain what I thought caused us to drift apart.

"I'm sorry I never meant for that to happen." He sighed and continued, "You were everything to me B." He said seriously looking right through me.

"You were everything to me too Nate." I said softly looking back at him.

I noticed that we both started leaning into each other slowly. Our lips nearly touched when a bird flew right past us almost touching both of our faces and we broke apart. I just shook my head. 'Like that wasn't a sign that we shouldn't be doing this.' I thought as I started to get up.

I got up and started walking towards my car slowly when his voice stopped me. "B wait!" He said desperately. I turned around and looked at him. He was standing by the table and he looked absolutely gorgeous and mostly sad. He then said, "I know you want this as much as I do. Don't fight it Brooke!"

This is it I thought there was no going back after this. I could either turn around and get back in the car to run away from him and truly try to forget about this or I could stay and give into it. I listened to my gut and started running. I ran right into his arms as he kissed me. He spun me around and I deepened the kiss when he stopped. We just stayed there the two of us like it should be. Finally when we pulled apart I said, "I want this." He smiled at me and kissed me again.

We realized that we couldn't stay at the court all night so he carried me to my car still kissing me and when he sat me down he said, "Is Peyton coming home tonight?" "No I'm going to be all alone." I was so relieved that Peyton had called me before I left telling me she was staying with Lucas again.

"I don't want you to be alone.'' He said completely serious and I'm pretty sure by the way he was looking at me that what he just said had more than the meaning of just being alone tonight.

"Then come with me." I said hopefully. He smiled and kissed me again and grabbed the keys from my hands.

"I'll drive." He said and got into the drivers seat. I grabbed the flowers off of the hood and climbed into the passenger seat.

I was a little more than relieved that there were no cops around because the way Nathan was driving we would have been thrown into jail definitely. Maybe he was a little bit distracted by me kissing his neck the whole way back to the apartment, but I couldn't help it I was going to explode if I didn't get him now!

He parked into a handicapped-parking place because it was closer and he was about to loose control of the car if he didn't stop. We both jumped out of the car and immediately continued what we started at the river court. Our lips never parted walking or should I say stumbling to the door. As soon as we reached my apartment Nathan pinned me against my door as I tried to get the key into the lock.

"Nathan I can't open the door when you do that." I said giggling. He grabbed the keys and opened the door and I didn't wait a second to shove him through the door and slam it behind me. He grabbed my face and kissed me so passionately I thought I might pass out from it.

We started tearing each other's clothes off of each other and by the time we reached the bedroom neither one of us were wearing shirts or shoes and I was in the process of taking his pants off as he was kissing my neck. He held me up against the wall because my knees were so weak as he kissed me hungrily.

My lungs were screaming for oxygen but I couldn't stop this kiss. My body was on fire and I pushed Nathan backwards and we fell onto the bed me on top of him. I sat up straddling him and I took off my bra. He just stared at me for a second looking me over before smiling and switching our positions quickly so he was on top now.

I almost ripped his pants off of him and he slid my pants off of me in record time as well. He continued to kiss me and I was moaning into every kiss as he ran his fingers through my hair right before reaching for my breast and rubbing it gently. It was a move I was more than familiar with, but no one did it as gentle as Nathan.

Finally all that was left was boxers and panties which neither one of us hesitated to take off of the other. We were now just too naked bodies about to come together for the first time in a long time. 'Its been way too long,' I thought. I started to suck on the spot right behind his ear and smiled when I heard him moan into my ear. I grabbed a condom and put it on his very hard member and he looked at me silently making sure it was what I wanted, and I responded by crashing my lips into his and closing all space between us as he slowly entered into me.

He started to pick up the pace and I started moaning again louder than before as I put my arms around him as he went in deeper and deeper. The faster he went the harder it was for me to smoother my own screams. I dug my fingernails into his back as he continued to push harder and harder.

He moaned into my shoulder as my nails traveled down his back as the sweat started to pour down both of our bodies. I was leaving my mark on him and we both knew it. He started sucking my neck and biting it ever so slightly leaving a mark of his own.

As I turned my hips into him and he moaned as he nibbled on my ear lobe, which resulted in a moan of my own. We were both reaching our climaxes at the same time as he went as deep as he possibly could. I screamed louder than I ever have before biting into his shoulder because I was absolutely shuddering with pleasure.

"Oh god Brooke!" He moaned as he reached his peak. "Nathan!" I said breathlessly as he started to slow down a little bit. We finished at the same time just like the times before.

When were both completely finished he rolled off of me and pulled me onto his chest. We were both panting heavily trying to catch our breath.

"That was…amazing." I said

"Yes it was perfect." He said and kissed me on the forehead.

We weren't thinking about anything else besides each other and we weren't worried about the rest of the world. For tonight it was just us and we eventually both drifted off to sleep in each others arms, but right before we completely fell asleep I couldn't help but notice that after all of these years of growing and maturing we still fit perfectly together.

**TBC I hope you loved it!! Please review I will love you and update really soon if I get a lot of reviews!!**


	10. Morning After

**Ok here is the new chapter, which I of course hope that you love!! Anyway I am still trying to incorporate some more of Nathan and Brooke's past together so you fully understand how important they were to each other and why now it is so easy yet so hard at the same time for them to be together. Okay so please sit back and enjoy!!!!**

_We weren't thinking about anything else besides each other and we weren't worried about the rest of the world. For tonight it was just us and we eventually both drifted off to sleep in each others arms, but right before we both completely fell asleep I couldn't help but notice that after all of these years of growing and maturing we still fit perfectly together._

I had the best night sleep that I had, had in almost three years or so and I new the reason why. It had been that long since Nathan and I had stopped sleeping at each other's houses and being best friends all together. I sighed as I thought that. My eyes fluttered open and I was lying on my side like I have been sleeping my entire life. The only difference was I was pressed against a very hard chest and a strong arm was encircled around my waist. I immediately got butterflies in my stomach thinking about the events of the night before. I tried to contain my smile but I couldn't.

I all of a sudden felt eyes on me and I knew that he was awake now too watching the back of me thinking I was asleep. 'He didn't know I was awake and he didn't know that I knew he was awake I could fake it and pretend I am asleep' I thought. I shut my eyes and evened out my breathing. Little did I know that Nathan wasn't buying it and woke me up the way he always used to, the way I hate the most. He started to pinch my sides and tickled me. I immediately let out a loud squeal not expecting him to do that. I turned over to face him and push him away, but he just grinned at me evilly and kept at it.

It really wasn't fair he knew where all of my weak spots were and he was using it against me. I was laughing so hard I thought I might start crying. I tried to get out of his grasp and get off the bed, but he just grabbed my waist and pulled me back down. He was laughing at me and his eyes had a playful gleam to them that I hadn't seen in a long time. It was almost like he was a little innocent boy just having fun. I guess I missed the tired look he had been wearing for really as long as we have stopped being friends. Even after everything ended badly I still noticed him all the time at school or at parties or games I watched still even to this day and I always some how knew in the back of my mind that he would still notice me too even if it was from a far like I had.

I always could tell if he was watching me I always got the same nervous feeling in my gut hoping at the moment I wasn't doing anything embarrassing or stupid. Nathan was all smiles this morning and I had truly missed being in his company and his amazing smile. He was still tickling me and I finally managed to get him to stop by abruptly kissing him hard on the mouth. He melted into the kiss and started turning me over so my back was on the bed and got on top of me. I was smiling and he pulled back for a second looking at me. He was watching me like he always had with that look that made me all nervous and very vulnerable. Nathan was the only one who could ever make me feel this way.

Then I finally broke the silence and the intense staring contest we were having and asked, "What why are you staring do I look horrible this morning or something?"

He just leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips and said, "No B you look amazing this morning and that is why I was staring." I froze at his kind words and I could feel a bright tinge of crimson coming onto my cheeks right as he said that. He could tell that I was embarrassed at his compliment and kissed my now slowly faded pink cheeks then moved to my nose and up to my forehead then down to my jaw and finally our lips met again in a soul filled raw kiss that I never wanted to end. The kiss heat index increased by every second and I wanted him all over again.

I parted our lips and began to suck on his neck again as he began to roam his hands all over my body. I loved his touch it made me feel so alive and I only hoped I was making him feel the same. I couldn't know for sure but the way he looked at me and moaned my name as I nibbled on his bottom lip playfully and his eyes as always were a mystery but they were so enchanting at the same time. I ran my fingers through his long dark hair as he trailed kissed along my jaw and worked his way to my neck trying to literally kiss every inch of me. I loved this even more by the second. When I was with Nathan I didn't think about the horrible pain I had endured over the years or all of the mistakes I had made. With Nathan, he made me feel worthy of something like I had a purpose.

This is what I was missing all along. All of the nights of me crying myself to sleep or not sleeping at all just hoping that someone would come along and save me, but never did. It all started that day when Nathan and Peyton became a couple and started spending more time together and I was pissed beyond belief because I knew I was loosing the only person that had ever been there for me unconditionally. He consumed my mouth with his and it just felt right, maybe this whole thing wasn't right but it sure as hell felt like it. He grabbed another condom and slipped it on. Our lips never needing to leave each other's because every time we did we just felt cold or empty, at least that's what it felt like for me.

He entered me slowly at first just like he had last night, but like always he knew just the right time to pick up the pace. He planted hot kisses on my shoulder right before making me moan out of both surprise and pleasure by planting chaste kisses on my now hard breasts. He smiled realizing he had such an affect on me and rolled his hips on top of mine they were moving rhythmatically together in a perfect sync like they made to do that. I could feel his body heat up with each passing second as the sweat poured from both of our bodies. Our kisses were desperate almost like it was the last time we ever would. He rocked me harder and harder we were both moaning out of sheer pleasure and after a while of becoming one we both practically erupted inside of each other at the same time of course like always.

He didn't immediately roll off of me like last night he stayed there for a second to look down at me. We were both completely breathless and exhausted. He put his forehead on mine and we just stared and relived all of the pain and fun all over again from our past. But his eyes were trying to tell me his side of the story almost like he didn't want to ever be away from me, but I couldn't be sure. He did eventually roll off of me and our hands just found each other on the quilt and intertwined automatically. His thumb was tracing circles on the rest of my hand and I shivered at his touch. He looked at me from the side for a second before turning my hand over so the other side of my arm was now turned as well, and just like a magnet giving him no choice but to look his eyes traveled down my arm right to the evidence of all the pain.

**Hey I'm sorry this wasn't very long, but at least it's something. So please review and I promise to make the next update ten times longer!!!**


	11. Almost Finding Out The Truth

**Hey okay so thanks to all of you who defended the story I don't know what that girl's problem was but thanks. This chapter is hopefully going to be longer and angstier since Nathan found the cuts so bear with me this chapter and we will get to more fluff in future chapters definitely!! Oh and also I know it's a little unrealistic that Nathan or anyone never saw her cuts, but for the story I guess she would cover it with foundation for the games and when she wore sleeveless shirts I hope that makes sense if not ignore me haha!!**

His thumb was tracing circles on the rest of my hand and I shivered at his touch. He looked at me from the side for a second before turning my hand over so the other side of my arm was now turned as well, and just like a magnet giving him no choice but to look his eyes traveled down my arm right to the evidence of all the pain.

I froze once I saw what he abruptly stopped tracing the circles on my hand and froze also. His eyes got very wide like he was seeing a ghost. My started beating faster by the second. I was so happy last night and this morning that I didn't even think about the fact that my bare arms were showing. I started to panic so I tried to pull my arm away, but he had a very firm grip on it he wouldn't let me go even though I kept trying to yank my arm away. I finally spoke hoping that if I asked him to let go he would.

"Nathan please let go." I said trying to get out of his grasp, but he just kept staring and wouldn't let go.

"Seriously Nate please your hur-hurting me." I stammered even though he wasn't but that helped a little because he loosened his grip a little but not all the way. He sat up and took a better look at my arm and without warning he grabbed my other one. He was still so silent it was actually scaring me, which is why I wanted to just get up and run.

He turned and looked into my eyes. I saw a big mix of emotions in his eyes there was anger, hurt, pain, and regret. The last one surprised me. It wasn't his fault and I hoped he didn't feel responsible.

He broke our eye contact and looked at my arms again and then without warning again asked, "Brooke what the hell is this?" He definitely sounded angry.

"Nothing." I said I really wanted to leave.

"This is not nothing B now I will ask you again what the hell is this?" He lifted up my arms when he said that. I turned away not wanting to meet his gaze or look at my arms.

"Nate just please leave it alone?" I whispered quietly.

He dropped one of my arms and placed his fingers under my chin so I would look at him, but I refused to. "Will you please at least look at me when you lie?" He asked sarcastically. I yanked my arms out of his grasp and jumped off of the bed fast. I immediately started getting dressed and he followed suit.

"How long B?" He asked when he was done getting dressed. I ignored him and walked out of the bedroom. He didn't stop asking though.

"Brooke this will go a lot easier if you just talk to me." He kept following me, but I wouldn't look at him. Finally when I was about to walk out of the door without shoes or keys he grabbed my arm and turned me around to face him.

We didn't say anything not at first, just staring he was trying to read me and figure out why I would do this and why I wouldn't tell him. My eyes gave absolutely nothing away though, they never did not anymore, and when he realized that his eyes went dark. My eyes dropped and I felt numb my secret had been revealed and it was only a matter of time before he knew the whole truth but I didn't want to tell him.

He was first to break the silence. "B please just talk to me, you used to tell me everything." His voice was soft and it broke off at the end, it was enough to get me to look up at him. He placed both hands on the sides of my face and asked me, "What happened?" His eyes now looked concerned and I felt guilty. I didn't want him to feel concerned or worried. I just shook my head and grabbed his hands and dropped them from my face and walked past him towards the kitchen. I heard him sigh behind me. I wanted him to leave but I knew he wouldn't.

I was right he walked right into the kitchen taking me by surprise and pinned me against the counter forcing me to look at him. "Tell me what happened!'' He demanded but his voice was soft at the same time.

"Don't do this Nate it's nothing!" I said my voice rising with every word.

"It's not nothing B now tell me what caused it. This isn't you. The Brooke I know wouldn't hurt herself!" He yelled. He was only about an inch away from me so his words were even louder, but that last part he said really set me off!

"Oh the Brooke you know huh? You think that you know me Nathan but let me tell you something you know absolutely nothing about me so just get the hell out!" I screamed in his face. He looked stunned for about a second and I tried to use that time to escape but he wouldn't let me go.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me what this is all about!" He screamed.

"It's none of your damn business just leave me the hell alone!" I shoved him, but he was stronger. It almost reminded me of all the times in my room, but this was different Nathan wasn't forcing me to have sex with him; he was just forcing me to talk.

"It is my business Brooke I don't want you hurting yourself so I will ask again how long has this been going on?" His voice rising again.

"I don't have to answer any of these questions Nathan your not my best friend anymore you lost all right to know anything when you chose to be with Peyton and play basketball 24/7!" He was almost staring to break me, but I wouldn't let him win.

"Is that what this is all about? Did you do this because of me and Peyton?" He asked almost afraid to know the answer.

"You really think that this is about you, god you've had your head shoved so far up your ass that you never noticed anything!" I screamed louder than before tears now pricked behind my eyes.

"What was I supposed to notice Brooke, you stopped talking to me one day and I tried to figure out why and you never seemed to acknowledge me after that whenever I tried to talk to you. You pushed me away!" His voice was as loud as mine; I could only imagine what the neighbors thought at that moment.

"Oh so this is all my fault fine then Nate I chose to go out with your best friend and completely ignore you for some girl and a stupid sport." Sarcasm was dripping out of my mouth.

"Then what was it just let me in B talk to me!" He pleaded with me his eyes said everything. He really wanted me to tell him, but I couldn't.

I almost considered telling him the whole god-awful truth but at the last second I didn't. "No Nathan you have no right to come in here after all this time and just start to ask me questions about what has been going on during the time that we haven't been friends."

"Brooke just look at me okay I really do care about you like I said last night you were my everything I loved you!" He was still pleading and what he said shocked me the tears were back. But the walls were still up and I wouldn't let him just walk into my life after all this time and break me.

"Oh you loved me did you? You still care do you? Well that is really touching Nate but its too late you made your choice and honestly if you really cared about me and loved me like you claimed you might have noticed my continued absence at school or that in the summer I never wanted to go to the pool or Christ I don't know I wore long sleeves all the time. You never noticed anything because you were so wrapped up in Peyton and basketball so if you really must know Nate for old times sake I'll tell you its been going on for _years_…yeah years went by and you said _nothing!_" I was so wrapped up in my own speech I didn't notice the tears had started to run down my face and he was staring at me with tears of his own in his almost black hard eyes.

I stopped my screaming speech and had to take a breath I didn't know I was holding. I looked up at him and he just looked at me with more emotions than I could count. He let one tear slip out but he wiped it away quickly. I sighed and walked to the door and opened for him. He stayed still almost like a statue for a second, before following me out the door and this time he didn't turn around to look back.

TBC

**Ok so I know I said that this would be longer and it wasn't so I'm really sorry!! Please review and tell me how you think it should go on from here that was a pretty intense fight and I have a few ideas but I would like to know what you think thanks again!!**


	12. What Really Happened

**Hey thanks again for the reviews, this chapter will be a little bit about Nathan and Haley's relationship and mostly about what is going on with Brooke through Nathan's eyes, but it will be in general pov. Just so you know its not going to be fluffy or good Naley haha I am just getting started to tear them apart so Brathan can be together!!! I am so cruel…**

_I sighed and walked to the door and opened for him. He stayed still almost like a statue for a second, before following me out the door and this time he didn't turn around to look back._

Nathan started to run back to his house. He couldn't believe that Brooke, his Brooke would do something like that. She never seemed like the type to hurt herself she always seemed so happy, but she was right she started to be more absent and when he went over to her house to make sure she was okay she would say she was sick and make him leave saying that she didn't want him to catch it.

'God why didn't I see the signs?' Nathan thought angrily.

He slowed down to walking and started to catch his breath a couple of blocks away from his house. He needed to find out what happened. He just couldn't take Brooke ever wanting to hurt herself or anyone else hurting her. He shook his head frustrated because he really didn't know what was going on inside her head right now. The truth is he didn't know what has been going on insider her head for the past 3 years. God he really wanted to punch something or just beat the shit out of someone or himself, he has been a truly horrible friend.

He still watched her though at the games, in school, at parties whenever she was near he always found it hard to look away. He never wanted to stop being friends, but he just became too much of a cocky ass hole to really care about anyone or anything else. He honestly didn't know that going out with Peyton and playing more basketball would end their 15-year friendship.

But it was true one day it was like _his Brooke_ was gone and she was replaced by someone who didn't look like she respected herself very well and just pranced around not caring or at least acting like not caring what rumors got started or what her reputation was about her. Nathan did always defend her when someone talked shitty about her, he just couldn't let people say things that he knew weren't true about her.

Even if they were true Nathan didn't like her getting talked about in such dirty and graphic terms in the locker room or wherever. After he finally realized that he and Brooke were never going to be the same and she completely stopped talking to him he just stopped. It was like his whole world just froze and his whole reason for existing was forgotten. _She _was his reason for existing and when he lost her he stopped caring and turned into someone he never wanted to be. Nathan closed his eyes tight thinking about that, that he wasn't there for her anymore you would think that after three years it would get easier seeing her and hanging out with her, but it never did.

Every time he saw her, his heart would stop beating completely and his breathing would quicken. She was really the only woman to ever _"take his breath away" _Nathan had heard that expression before, but thought it was only used in cheesy movies, but after he heard it every time he saw Brooke or thought about her she did, and he just didn't know it until he had heard that saying.

He really needed to talk to her again, but she needed to cool off he had never seen her yell like that before. He had honestly never yelled like that before except for one time and even though the words she was saying cut him like a knife he only felt worse because he knew that they were true. His dad being the controlling bastard that he was demanded all of his attention so he could be the best player, and it killed Nathan to not see Brooke everyday or sleep in her room with her anymore.

And then there was Peyton and she was hot and cool, but she was more of a distraction because when he met her it was just around the time he realized that he was in love with his best friend and she didn't seem to feel the same although he couldn't be totally sure. So he went for it sort of they were 13 when he met her but he couldn't help how he felt for Brooke so he tried to put all of his energy into loving Peyton that much which was useless, but he thought he should try anyway.

Nathan thought that it was kind of mean to use Peyton like that, but in the end it was obvious that they didn't belong together, but they had developed genuine feelings for one another a very strong friendship that he was thankful for.

He walked onto the driveway very distracted and just walked through the door like a zombie and into the kitchen. At the counter were his mom, Haley and James his son was in his mother's arms. Nathan walked over to the refrigerator, didn't even acknowledge anyone and pulled out bottled water and started to chug it down until it was gone.

After he threw that away and turned around they stared at him like he had three heads and that was the only thing that snapped him sort of out of his trance.

"Honey are you okay?" Deb asked her son concerned as Haley walked up to him and kissed him lightly on the lips and also looked concerned.

"Babe where were you last night I was worried sick, I called Lucas and Peyton, but they hadn't seen you so I called Mouth and Rachel but you hadn't called them either so I was just getting ready to call Brooke and make her pick me up so we could look for you thank god that you are okay!!" She said and hugging his chest tightly.

The second she said Brooke's name his pulse stopped and his eyes clouded over, because he knew that she was hurting and had been for a very long time and he never did anything about it. But he needed to think of something believable to say to them, because he shouldn't of worried them like that, but last night he wasn't thinking about anything but Brooke.

"I was…at the river court last night… I couldn't sleep so I went there to play for a while to loosen up enough to get tired, but then I just stayed and wound up falling asleep I just woke up and hurried home. I am really sorry I worried you like that I won't do it again." He tried to sound sincere and he wasn't lying completely either.

Haley looked up at him with concerned eyes, but it looked like she believed him and she nodded and kissed him on the lips again, before taking James from his mom and taking him to his room upstairs. Nathan just looked at his mom for a second and she didn't look so convinced, but she didn't say anything she walked up to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"What ever is going on with you, you know that you can come to me with it. I love you Nathan and you don't have to worry about me judging you or anything." She said sincerely. Nathan smiled at his mom very happy that she was here and kissed her on the cheek also and said, "Thanks mom, but I am fine I just needed to figure some stuff out."

"Okay well if you ever need to talk come find me." She said before walking out also into the living room, leaving Nathan only with his thoughts again. He sighed knowing right now he couldn't fix all of the damage done with Brooke and his relationship or with Brooke and the battle she seemed to be fighting with herself right now. He just wanted to be there with her fighting so she wasn't alone.

Nathan headed upstairs and went to take a shower. The hot water felt really good on his tense muscles and skin. As much as he hoped the shower would clear his head it didn't all it did was give him more time to think about all of his mistakes that he has made. He should have fought harder for Brooke back then he should have forced her to tell him about those cuts today, but he didn't want to upset her any more than he had Nathan sighed again as he got out of the shower.

He walked into his and Haley's room to get dressed and she was sitting on the bed looking at a picture from their first wedding on the beach when they were sixteen. They really did look happy together and he was young and in love with her, but even back then when they looked like the perfect couple there still always felt like something was missing from his life, but he was just too blind to see it or he was too stubborn to admit what it was, because he knew himself better than that he had always known what it was, it was _her _but he never admitted it.

Haley looked up at him with glassy eyes Nathan was dressed already and looked back at her the guilt was slightly starting to surface as the night before had flashed in his mind.

"Nathan are you sure that you are okay, because it seems that for the past couple of days you have been acting weirder and more… I don't know distant I guess is there something that you want to tell me?" She asked with the tears spilling over rolling down her cheeks.

'Yes' Nathan thought.

"No Haley of course not, I am fine." He said 'Not even close' he thought.

"Are you sure because you almost seem well I hate myself for saying this but unhappy with me." She said as another sobbed escaped her.

'Not exactly' Nathan thought.

"Haley of course I am happy with you I have never been happier in my life we are happily married, I have the most beautiful son in the world why wouldn't I be happy?" He asked trying to give a convincing reassuring smile.

'Maybe because I can't stop thinking about the girl that completed me long before I met you and now that I started to get close to her again I might actually die if I lose her again.' Nathan couldn't help but shudder at the thought of loosing Brooke again, he just wouldn't do it.

But luckily Haley didn't notice the utter blackness of Nathan's eyes or the fake smile that he was presenting, she just wiped her tears and gave a weak smile and said, "Okay I'm sorry I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay I should have told you where I was going but I didn't want to wake you." He said. She nodded and said, "Well James sure missed you I could tell that he wanted his dad." Haley couldn't help but let her voice get a little higher with that last word, but luckily for her Nathan was too preoccupied with his own problems he didn't notice.

"Yeah I missed him too so I might go and take him out for awhile you know like father, son bonding or something is that cool?" He asked really just waiting for an excuse to leave to think and then eventually talk to Brooke again. Maybe today wasn't the best time but the sooner the better in the long run if he waited to long to talk to her again she won't even consider telling him the truth and if she never did then he would lose her and he refused to let that happen.

"Yes I think he would love that." She said happily but there was an edge to her voice like she was almost hiding something else in her words. "Great I will go get him ready." Nathan said and walked into James' room this time leaving Haley to her thoughts. 'If only he knew' she thought almost bitterly.

Nathan dressed James and left in his car going nowhere in particular it was a beautiful summer day and the wind was just barely blowing making the temperature perfect. He looked into the rearview mirror at James and smiled at him. He looked happy in the car as Nathan looked away something caught his eye that in the sun or any good light James' hair was fairly light which is weird since Nathan's hair is black and Haley's is light brown.

'That's weird his hair looks practically blonde.' He thought, but he shrugged it off and kept driving thinking about _her. _Truthfully there was no one else in the whole world like her: that smile, the hair, and the dimples, that laugh that no matter what kind of mood he was in always made him smile.

Nathan reached to turn on the radio and when the song started to play a broad smile immediately broke out onto his face.

_Today is gonna be the day  
That they're gonna throw it back to you  
By now you should've somehow  
Realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody  
Feels the way I do about you now_

All he thought about were the good and happy times of his and Brooke's relationship, _'relationship'_ Nathan thought. That is really what it was; they were kidding themselves saying that they were only best friends because best friends didn't talk like they did or look at each other the way that they did. They didn't stay at each other's houses almost every night well some might… but it was _never _just friendly cuddling with them.

_Backbeat the word was on the street  
That the fire in your heart is out  
I'm sure you've heard it all before  
But you never really had a doubt  
I don't believe that anybody feels  
The way I do about you now_

Thinking about how they ended was bad for Nathan it was one of those memories he wished he could forget, it was one that made his blood boil and freeze at the same time seeing the distance in her eyes the fear too.

_And all the roads we have to walk along are winding_

_And all the lights that lead us there are blinding_

_There are many things that I would like to say to you_

_But I don't know how_

_Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me_

_And after all you're my wonderwall_

Flashback

_A fifteen-year-old Nathan was pissed off at the moment. He just found out that he made the varsity basketball team as a freshman and when he went to tell his dad all he did was make Nathan run 2 miles and do 100 push ups saying that if he wasn't as strong as the seniors on the team he would make the coach leave him on the bench._

_He couldn't believe that his dad was such an ass it was like all he cared about was that Nathan was the best on the team I mean he was a freshman he had time to develop his skills but no that wouldn't work for Dan Scott. He needed to see Brooke he wasn't even sure if she would be at her house he hadn't seen her around lately, but then again she was probably there and he was just too focused on basketball try outs and keeping his girl friend Peyton happy and not so moody._

_He ran to her house he didn't care that his legs were completely protesting in their own way, the 2 extra miles on top of the 5 he ran at try outs weren't going to stop him from seeing Brooke. He smiled thinking about seeing her. She had definitely grown up nicely, she had long dark auburn brown hair, a gorgeous face with dimples on her cheeks and a very nice gymnast body to match a great figure with c cups she was very nice to look at. _

_Nathan didn't bother knocking he never did he just ran up to her room and she was lying in her bed watching MTV and drinking a beer._

"_Hey B why are you drinking alone?" He asked wondering why she hadn't called him to come over or something._

"_Just bored." She answered automatically with low emotion in her voice._

_Nathan looked at her surprised at how her voice sounded. "Are you okay?" He asked genuinely concerned._

_She smiled coyly slightly before shrugging and asking sarcastically, "I'm fine how are you Nate how's Peyton?" _

_He didn't know what was wrong with her, but he was going to find out._

"_She's fine." He answered calmly then said, "But your not want to tell me what's going on inside that head of yours." He said and placed his finger on her temple for a second, that one touch sent shivers up both of their spines so he took it off wondering if she felt it too, which she did._

_She took a long sip of her beer before answering, "Nothing but the usual, so now you can go and fuck Peyton I'm sure she doesn't want to be away from you for too long." She said icily._

_Nathan just stared at her for a second truly shocked that she said that. Brooke and Peyton were basically best friends he knew Brooke loved Peyton like a sister and he thought that they were best friends, but maybe be was wrong. _

"_What the hell is your problem B?" He asked still shocked._

"_Nothing Nathan I am great so now that you know that you can go or was there something else you wanted?" She asked her voice rising slightly higher with each word._

_He was speechless, but still managed to get out once again shocked at her attitude towards him and said, "I-I-uh made the varsity team."_

_Brooke just rolled her eyes and said, "Well congradu-fucking-lations Nate!" Sarcasm was just dripping out of her mouth._

"_Brooke what the hell this isn't like you what happened?" He asked almost desperately. _

_She got up and walked to the door and opened it. "Nothing happened Nate I am fine now will you please just leave me alone?" Her voice cut him deep, a lot deeper than he would like to admit._

"_No not until you tell me what's going on and don't try to tell me nothing because I know you better I can tell that your lying!" He said angrily, he was now standing right in front of her. _

"_I don't know how many times I have to say it but I AM FINE! I just want to be left alone you don't need to baby-sit me Nathan I am a big girl." She yelled._

"_I know you are, but I'm still not leaving what the fuck Brooke just talk to me quit being so selfish!!" He demanded yelling._

"_Oh I'm the selfish one Nate how do you figure that at least I'm not obsessed with a stupid game or some girl that I won't even like in a year!" She yelled._

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean B you set me and Peyton up and you are selfish because you obviously aren't thinking about me by not telling me what ever the hell pissed you off so much!" He screamed as we walked even closer to her when he was about an inch away from her she didn't respond by yelling at him like he had prepared she surprised him by slapping the shit out of him._

_It was loud and there was already a hand print forming on his face he was panting heavily and so was she, they were both seeing nothing but red and they could feel the others breath on each others faces. Out of nowhere at the same like they had been thinking the same thing, which they did often she put both hands on the sides of his face at the same time he did to her and they crashed their lips together. _

_The kiss was hot more like on fire and it was rough she begged him for entrance inot his mouth, which he gave immediately. They were both fighting for control, but liked the challenge. Nathan immediately threw her up on the wall with her legs wrapped around his waist almost taking all the breath out of him. He bit on her lip making it bleed and she pulled his hair hard in the back as they looked into each other's eyes for the first time and there was lust pure passionate lust, but that was just a cover on top of lots of anger and more importantly love._

_They continued that until he pushed himself on top of her to the bed she ripped his shirt off of him and he copied it on her. She was now sucking on his neck before working her way to his ear and biting it particularly hard, he responded by biting into her shoulder as he took her bra off. She pulled his shorts off of him and he took off her shorts and panties at the same she didn't hesitate to take his boxers off and before either really realized it they were having sex, real, fast, hard, raw sex. And it felt amazing they both cried out in pleasure multiple times that night. _

_There was biting and sucking as well as scratching it wasn't how either pictured losing their virginities, but once they started they couldn't stop and they didn't stop until they couldn't move or breath any longer. When he rolled off of her it wasn't awkward it was surprisingly comfortable, but both were still pissed off. Nathan couldn't believe she wouldn't talk to him or why she was acting like such a bitch. Brooke was just pushing him away on purpose before she fell any farther in love with him, but the exact opposite happened that night._

_It was awkward when he left after they had said nothing; before he walked out the door he turned around and looked back at her lying there on the bed naked looking absolutely flawless but still fragile and well almost broken already. He imprinted that image into his mind knowing no matter what he would never forget that. He sighed loudly enough for her to hear him, but she pretended not too, it would just make everything harder for them._

_He walked out without another word and never came back into her house. When Brooke heard the door close she clung to the blanket and cried herself dry of any sort of tears she almost wasn't breathing she was crying so hard when she realized he may have left her house, but never could he ever leave her heart._

_Nathan ran home with whatever secret strength he had discovered not believing what just happened. When he got home his phone had 2 missed calls from Peyton, but he didn't feel guilty he felt like hell, numb is a better word. He knew they weren't going to be the same after that and the thought almost killed him right there. At that moment of realizing he had lost the love of his life without even a fight he stopped caring, feeling, thinking, none of it mattered anymore he had lost Brooke the only thing more important to him than life itself so now he just wouldn't bother truly living his anymore. _

_Today was gonna be the day _

_But they'll never throw it back to you_

_By now you should've somehow _

_Realized what you're not to do_

_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do_

_About you now_

_Present_

Nathan wiped his eyes after thinking about that night. His breath immediately started to shorten and become shallow, so bad he had to pull over and when he did he cried for the first time since that night for the same reason the only reason that mattered.

_I said maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me?_

_And afterall you're my wonderwall_

_I said maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me?_

_And afterall you're my wonderwall_

_Said maybe_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

_You're gonna be the one that saves me_

TBC 

**I hoped that you liked it!! It took me a really long time to write so please review I need to read what you think thanks again!! Oh and I know I already used the song once, but I wanted to use again with Nathan's feelings about it!**


	13. Completing Me

**Hey so I hope you liked the last chapter thanks so much for the reviews I am a review whore to some degree I love them a lot!! Haha ok so someone pointed out in a review that in the last chapter I said in the flash back that that's how they lost their virginities, but that is wrong because Brooke had already been raped a million times by then by Rick I decided was his name so sorry I forgot about that when I wrote it!! That is really how Nathan lost his though just so you know okay anyway here's the next chapter I hope you like it!!**

_Nathan wiped his eyes after thinking about that night. His breath immediately started to shorten and become shallow, so bad he had to pull over and when he did he cried for the first time since that night for the same reason the only reason that mattered._

I hadn't moved from my position with the door open since _he_ left. That thought made me sick, it reminded me of the last night that we were friends when we had sex for the first time. It was so angry and aggressive not a whole lot different from Rick. '_Rick' _I thought bitterly I hated him so much. He took everything from me. The only real difference between both was I trusted Nathan with everything I had and I wanted him that night.

He was so hot coming over all sweaty and pissed, but I needed to let him go. He didn't need to deal with me and my problems anymore so I realized that I loved him enough to do that. Plus the fight we got into was probably just as bad as the one we had today. I shook my head sadly thinking that this was _our_ chance to start over and I blew it again by pushing him away. My eyes watered as I repeated the same thing that I had been saying to myself for the past 3 years was that he deserved way better than me and Haley deserves a way better friend than me.

'I bet if I killed myself right now no one would even miss me.' I thought sadly.

No I couldn't do that I may have inflicted a lot of pain on myself over the years where there had been plenty of opportunities to just not stop the bleeding, but something always stopped me at the last second and right now I was mad at myself for always thinking of _him _which always stopped me.

I sighed and closed the door. I needed to clear my head, but I didn't want to drive anywhere so I put on a mix cd that Peyton made me. Of course she put her emo music on there, which I pretended to hate, but actually loved because I could relate to a lot of it. When the song came on the stereo I started to move a little bit listening to each word carefully.

_I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared  
But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared_

I moved my whole body around very casually at first just loosening up probably looking really weird, but I didn't care.

_After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving  
When I'm done here_

_So if you're asking me  
I want you to know_

I was starting to feel a little bit better I was starting to relax, trying to forget my problems with Nathan or anything else.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

_And don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory_

_Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest_

I was really getting into it now, I really love this song it's so sad and actually pretty mellow but it was almost beautiful like the band was speaking my pain.

_Don't be afraid  
I've taken my beating  
I've shared what I made_

_I'm strong on the surface  
Not all the way through  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you_

_So if you're asking me  
I want you to know_

I was all over the place now I was just dancing and forgetting at the same time it was like the scene on Grey's Anatomy when they just danced around trying to loosen up and not have a care in the world.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

_Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory_

_Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest_

I was so into it and I really felt great to, but something inside of me was still completely broken and it ached in pain. I already knew what it was my heart, of course it was aching for Nathan. I started jumping higher and dancing harder _(is it possible to dance hard??) _it wasn't helping my pain. I knew it would never go away as long as Nathan was away, but he couldn't be here he was married and happy with Haley and James I would just bring him down and he didn't deserve that.

_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well_

It was getting worse by the second and I started to slow down a little bit, the force of the pain in my chest was surprising me. I mean I always felt like this when Nathan wasn't around or when I thought about how horrible I was to him, but with the fight still fresh in my mind it was literally ripping a hole in my chest.

_Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are_

I turned the song up higher trying my absolute hardest to block out the pain with the music, but it wasn't working well at all it only made things worse because now it was giving me a headache.

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed _

Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest 

I stopped dancing when my breath started to get shaky and then uncontrollably started to quicken and it was getting shallower by the second.

_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well_

I was trying to just do standard breathing techniques, but they weren't helping it was like all of the oxygen had disappeared and I had nothing left to breath. I doubled over and squeezed the material on my shirt right in front of my heart. I winced when a sharp stabbing pain seized through my heart.

_Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are  
I can't be who you are_

I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but nothing was helping me at all and I was truly scared. I fell to my knees with fresh tears in my eyes they stung more than usual. I put both arms across my stomach trying to keep myself together. It felt like if I didn't hold myself like that then I would fall apart right there on the floor.

I screamed out in pain and started sobbing. I realized the only way I would survive this attack that was happening within myself was if I saw Nathan. I knew he would make everything better, but I couldn't drive to go and see him. I didn't know what to do. That made me more scared as a river of tears came down my cheeks. I was still crying out in pain. I had never had this type of… what 'episode' before. I had come close but usually it passed after a couple of minutes, but this wasn't going away it was only getting worse.

I thought if I moved my arms to get a phone then I would be ripped apart without seeing Nathan again and that thought only added to the pain and made me want to die, because I would rather die then loose Nathan. A fierce pain broke through where my heart was and I shrieked holding myself tighter. My fingernails were digging into my sides so hard they broke through the skin.

I was actually going to die right now never had telling Nathan how much I loved him and that he was the best thing in my life or how much I needed him. I was going to die all alone just like Rick used to tell me while he was raping me.

'No!' I thought my last thoughts were not going about that ass hole. They were going to be about something happy or _someone. _'Nathan' I thought and despite the pain that tearing me apart I smiled. What was happening to me is something in didn't think was possible I had no idea someone could literally die of a broken heart, but here I was about to do it. This was just an example of the fact that I was incomplete without Nathan.

He held me together and whenever he was experiencing pain so did I. Even after that fateful night I always knew when he was hurting because I could feel it too. I wondered if he could feel my agonizing pain right now. I wish he were here with me, completing me. But he wasn't he was probably with Haley and James being a happy family. That thought tore the hole bigger and I tried to smother a scream but I couldn't. This was really it this was the end for me.

And just when I had given up any form of hope the door to the apartment swung open and in walked the love of my life.

"Oh my god Brooke!" He yelled as he ran over to me. He put his arms around me but the pain was still unbearable. As he touched me I screamed in pain, because even though he didn't mean to his touch sped up my heart and my heart was not in the best condition right now. My scream startled him and he backed up about an inch away from me.

"No don't go!" I begged through the tears and I reached out and grabbed his shirt with force and pulled him over to me.

"I'm not going anywhere B I am never leaving you again!" He said seriously.

More tears came out of my eyes when he said that and the pain was starting to subdue only a little bit though, because part of me really wanted to push him away still so I wouldn't get hurt in the long run. But how much more pain can one person ever be in?

I nodded my head as he put his arms around me again; it still hurt like hell but not as much. I really did love him more than life itself and it scared me. The feeling of being scared just shot another stab into the huge deep wound that was my heart.

I gasped as a sob escaped from my throat I was still trying to breath.

"Brooke what can I do you're scaring me please!" He asked begging.

"Just…please…don't…leave…me!" I barely choked out while continuing to sob in his arms.

"Don't worry I won't but there has to be something else your barely breathing I have to take you to a hospital." He said starting to get up off of the floor, but I grabbed his arm and looked at him in the eyes for the first time since he got there.

He looked desperate and heartbroken he even looked like he had been crying also, maybe he was in pain and that triggered this. Thinking about him in pain automatically sent serge of concern and panic through me and I doubled over again trying to breath.

"Baby please let me take you somewhere I feel like you might die if I don't do something." He said desperately and when I looked at him again he had tears in his eyes.

I hated that I was causing him so much pain right now. I just shook my head and gasped out," I'm…so…sorry…N-Nathan." I said crouching over. "About…everything…I never…stopped…loving you." I barely got the last part out because I was wincing in pain.

"No it wasn't you fault Brooke I shouldn't have left you that night I'm sorry." He said the first tear escaping his eye.

I shook my head violently and tried to say, "No…it…wasn't…yo-your…fault." I stuttered trying to get up, but it didn't work because a massive wave of pain came crashing down on me and I yelled out, "Ahhhh Nathan!!" I was sobbing out a cry for help to him and he responded. He gathered me in his arms immediately and started rocking me even though he was shaking now as well.

"B please don't tell me what to do to make this better I'm not going anywhere but I have to do something else anything else." He said as more tears spilled out of his eyes.

"K-kiss…m-me…p-please." I begged I wasn't even sure at this point if that would work but I had to feel his lips on mine again before I died.

He didn't hesitate before he captured my lips in a gentle kiss trying not to hurt me. It felt amazing and the pain started to ease up a little bit, but it wasn't enough so I reached up and grabbed the back of his neck and began to kiss him harder and more passionately if it was possible, even a soft kiss from Nathan was passionate as hell.

He responded slowly at first before deepening the kiss even more as his tongue collided with mine. My breathing still wasn't that good so it wasn't as long as I'd hoped but it helped. I pushed him away when I started gasping for air again. He looked at me with worry and concern all over his face and my chest tightened again, but since he was here and with me it wasn't as bad. He and I were both still shaking pretty badly.

"Are y-you sure you don't want me to take you to the h-hospital or anything I have to get help B you don't look s-so good." He stuttered worriedly while he was shaking.

I nodded again more calmly since with each passing second with Nathan I was starting to feel a little bit better. He was doing what I knew he would, he was repairing the hole in my heart; he was putting me back together. In simple words _he was completing me._ He looked surprised when I smiled up at him. But he also looked relieved and he smiled warmly at me.

It sent a good feeling throughout me. He kissed me on the forehead and whispered in my ear, "You are my everything Brooke Penelope Davis I have always and will always love you unconditionally no matter what, and I am never leaving your side again." He said it so seriously it seemed like he was worried about our time together and how long he would have, but it didn't matter he said everything I needed to hear to live.

New tears brimmed the edge of my eyes but they were tears of joy and Nathan wiped them away when they hit my cheeks I reached up and wiped his away also. He reached up and grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"I love you too Nathan Daniel Scott." I sobbed happily as he leaned down and kissed me on the lips.

For right now everything was good it just felt so _right _so _natural _to be together like this like it was the way it was supposed to be and they were going to do everything in their power to keep it that way…

TBC

**Hey so I am kind of impressed with myself updating twice in two days I hope you guys liked this chapter!! I don't know why I always seem to end up writing one of them in pain I'm sorry if you guys don't like the dark stuff I am hoping to retrieve the light and fluffy things in the future. But you should know that this is going to be a very long story so it will be light as some points and very dark again at others I really hope you continue to read and review I love writing for you, but only if you review and tell me what you think!!! Also the song that she was dancing to was Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park and if you watch Grey's Anatomy then you would know the scene I am talking about!**

**Okay so you know what to do press the pretty purple button thanks again!! **

**Xoxo happy holidays love Summer Davis**


	14. Finding Out The Truth

**Hey thank you all so much for the reviews they were the perfect Christmas present! I hope everyone had a great holiday and I am sorry it has been so long since I last updated but family and everything it was just crazy so anyway I hope you love this chapter!!!**

_For now everything was good it just felt so __**right **__so __**natural**__to be together like this, like it was the way it was supposed to be and they were going to do everything in their power to keep it that way…_

We have been laying together on the floor for about an hour now and it has been silent the whole time. Nathan never let me go, which of course I didn't mind I would probably have another anxiety attack if he did. That was brutal and I am so fortunate that Nathan came in when he did or else I might not have survived it. I hated to think that since he was here that he would want some sort of explanation for what he walked in on and for the cuts. I was going to have to tell him everything, but I wasn't ready.

I was scared, not scared about what Nathan would think of me or anything but scared of him knowing my secret. You would think I would love it if he knew, and then there would literally be no secrets between us at least on my end. I couldn't be sure about Nathan. I don't want to have to live through the whole thing again, but I will have to when I tell him and I don't want to remember.

That was why I drink and have sex all the time just trying to forget. That's not my life anymore thank god and I know it wasn't the best way to do it, but it helped for a little while at least. I always had the memories as reminders and of course when the painful flashbacks became too much to handle I would always resort to physical pain aka cutting. I sighed thinking about how weak I must look to Nathan right now. I could feel his breathing on my forehead my head was on his chest, which was my favorite position to be in, but he wouldn't let me do it until he was absolutely sure it wouldn't hurt me.

Today was one of the most stressful, sad, emotional, heartbreaking (literally), and happiest days of my life. The happy only came after Nathan healed me. He was the only thing in my life I could truly count on, well that's what I always thought until we stopped being friends. Now it felt like it did then us being together and being happy I loved it. All of the sweet things he whispered in my ear and the way he kissed me I could just die thinking about how good it made me feel.

He kissed me softly on the forehead and butterflies fluttered around my stomach and I had to smile. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me. I leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He looked at me and I knew what was coming. He sighed before saying the five words I have heard him say a million times and the five words I hated hearing him say.

"Brooke we need to talk." He looked determined when he said, like no matter what I was going to tell him before he left. I sighed thinking about him leaving again. I shook my head of that thought and blocked it out.

"I know." I said softly almost dejectedly I was not looking forward to this conversation. I sat up slowly as did Nathan we were sitting directly in front of each other only a few inches away. He reached his hands out and took mine in his and laced all of our fingers together.

I smiled for a second looking at them thinking about how perfect they fit together it was truly like they were made for each other. Nathan looked down and smiled too he was thinking the same thing I could tell.

"So B before we start I just want you to know that no matter what I am always going to love you and you can trust me with anything it doesn't matter what it is." He said sincerely.

I smiled again and said softly, "I know I love you too." He leaned in and kissed me quickly. When he pulled away my lips felt cold, but he was still holding my hands.

I sighed, "So what do you want to know?" I said almost emotionless. Nathan's eyes got dark immediately like he was having a memory a bad one. The night we slept together my voice sounded like that I think I freaked him out so I said again with more _feeling_ I guess, "Is there something in particular that you wanted to know." Honestly I couldn't help that thinking and talking about this made me numb.

His eyes were still dark, but he nodded and smiled slightly. He could tell that I was trying and he knew how hard this was for me.

"I want to know everything." He said determined again like before the look on his face was determined as well. I looked down I'm not sure I knew where to begin I guess the first night it happened on Christmas Eve. He put two fingers under my chin and lifted it to meet his gaze. His eyes were pleading with me to tell him. My heart ached for him again because me not telling him was hurting him, but I knew me telling him would hurt him also. It was a loose, loose situation no matter what.

"Well…" I started then stopped this was hard. He squeezed my hands as encouragement and I continued.

"It all started Christmas Eve when we were nine. Your parents wanted you home with them and my parents had a business Christmas party." I sighed again before continuing.

"T-there was this g-guy." I stammered as tears formed behind my eyes. I really didn't want to cry in front of Nathan again. I took a deep breath.

"It's ok B what happened." He pressed on gently.

"His n-name…was R-Rick…and he kept l-looking at me all night. I t-thought he was j-just…a little weird." The first tear came down on both sides. Nathan let go of one of my hands and brushed them away before taking my hand again.

"I w-went ups-stairs…and he f-followed me…He came in and r-ripped off my d-dress…" I stopped and closed my eyes not able to look at him and I remembered.

_If you ever tell anyone about this I will kill you and everyone you love. You got it!_

I took another deep breath and opened my eyes to look at Nathan. His eyes were darker than before, darker than I had ever seen them. He knew what was coming next so I went on.

More tears came, but he didn't wipe them away. "He put me on the b-bed…and he…I mean…I t-tried to sc-cream, but he covered my m-mouth…he was s-so strong…he r-raped me." I whispered the last part as tears fell down my cheeks. I could feel my hands shaking and when I looked at them I realized that they were Nathan's hands.

My eyes clouded over and he had an unreadable expression on his face. If I weren't holding his hands I wouldn't have known he was shaking.

I didn't know what to do until he said in a hard voice, "What was his name." It wasn't a question more like a demand. I let go of his hands and wiped my cheeks and eyes, but I didn't say anything.

He said again, "Brooke what was his name." I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them and said, "Why?"

"Just tell me his name B." He said fiercely. His eyes got darker if that was possible.

"No Nathan, telling you his name won't do anything." My whole body started to shake slightly and I was afraid of what Nathan might do.

"B please tell me so I can go and break his fucking legs and kill his perverted, pedophile self." He said determined again. I saw his body start to shake with anger; you could see it in his eyes too.

I slightly inched closer to him and started to close the gap between us. He didn't move it was like he was possessed by rage. I tried to grab his hands, but he pulled them away still shaking. I moved to I was right in front of him. He wouldn't look at me; this was what I was afraid of.

"Nate please." I begged. He turned his head and looked deep into my eyes. We were both still shaking, but his eyes started to soften only a little.

"You can't go and kill him Nate you would go to jail and then it would have been for nothing." I said trying to reason with him.

"Like hell it wouldn't be for nothing it would be everything B he raped you he doesn't deserve to live, because he hurt you so I am going to hurt him!" he yelled, but I wasn't scared of him he was protecting me.

I settled my self to basically straddling him so he couldn't move and I looked at him again and said, "Nathan I appreciate the concern, and its not like I am defending him or anything, but I have spent a long time trying to put this and everything else behind me so please don't do anything just stay here with me." I begged again with fresh tears staring to brim the edge of my eyes.

He looked at me for a couple of minutes not saying anything trying to calm down, but he was still shaking with anger and I was still shaking because I knew I hadn't told him everything yet.

He sighed and said, "Fine you win I won't do anything."

"Thank you I don't know what I would do without you if you were in jail." I said grateful.

He looked at me and asked, "Is there anything else you want to tell?" Almost afraid to know the answer.

I sighed, "Yes there is are you sure you want to know or are you going to go all bad ass and try to kill someone." I said seriously.

"I won't do anything I am not going to leave you." He said just as seriously, but he was still shaking and his eyes were still dark, but I went on knowing if I didn't say it now I never would.

"Ok well after that night…you know my parents weren't really…around much…and I wasn't always at your house so…it was like he knew when I was home by myself cuz he…he kept coming back." My voice broke on the last sentence. Nathan started to shake harder, but didn't make a move to leave.

I started to shake harder when he asked; "He did this more than once to you?" His voice was hard again.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "How many times B?" He asked hesitantly.

I bit my lip so more tears wouldn't fall and stuttered, "I don't k-know a lot I g-guess." He looked pissed, but I could tell he was trying to stay calm.

"How long did this go on?" He asked as I could feel him clench the material of my shirt with his fists on my back.

I bit my lip so hard that it started bleeding only a little though before answering, "Four years maybe more." The tears began to fall once again.

He lost all of the color in his face and his eyes were now pure black he squeezed my shirt even harder and now we were both shaking uncontrollably.

I wasn't sure what to do we both needed comfort, but we were both too messed up at the moment to give it so we sat there staring into each others eyes as the tears ran down my face and as Nathan's fists clenched as hard as possible.

I took my arms from around his neck and wiped my eyes again. I still couldn't read his expression all I knew was it was dark and I had to do something. I was still shaking and more tears came, but I ignored them and grabbed Nathan's face so he was only about an inch away from my face.

He tried to move his face away and his eyes left mine and were looking down. I was also afraid of this. That he would blame himself then leave me, and do something stupid and I would be alone again. I wasn't going to let that happen.

"Nathan look at me." I demanded in a hush voice that got his attention because his eyes found mine again.

"Listen do not even think about blaming yourself for any of this ok it wasn't your fault and I didn't tell you because I knew you would think that, but you have to listen to me it was not your fault!" I said in a harsh tone so he would listen. I knew what he was thinking I had to get through to him.

His whole expression was hard he wasn't listening to me; he was actually beginning to shut me out. I wasn't going to let that happen either he needed me and I sure as hell needed him.

I shook his head for a second before looking him in the eyes again and saying a little more fierce, "Nathan its not your fault and its not my fault ok we can't blame our selves for this I didn't want this to happen but it did and I couldn't stop him!! I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't I was terrified all of the time and I thought if I told you or anyone else then no one would believe me so I shut my self down and pushed you and everyone else away! I didn't want to but I couldn't burden you with my problems so I cut you off basically after that night that we had sex. Nathan you deserve so much better than me and I just wanted you to be happy so I never told you and I didn't think that after all of these years you would even care." The tears would not stop pouring down my face as I finished that.

Nathan just stared at me his eyes burned with anguish as he quickly started to wipe my tears away. When he was done he grabbed my face like I had his before and said, "It wasn't your fault B you didn't deserve that and I wish I knew I'm so sorry that I didn't know I should have known you were my best friend." His voice broke while saying that and tears started pouring out of his eyes, but his expression was still hard.

I wiped his tears away and put both of my hands on his face and kissed him with more force than I have ever kissed anyone before. It didn't take him long to return my desperate kiss and our bodies slowly started to stop shaking as we kissed. We broke apart and were panting very heavily and our foreheads were pressed together.

"I'm so so sorry B for everything can you forgive me?" I looked at him and now there was pain as well as anguish and still anger in his eyes.

"Of course Nate only if you can forgive me for being so awful to you. I shouldn't have pushed you away." I said honestly.

"I understand and yes you are forgiven." He said cupped one side of my face with his hand while the other one was still grabbing it. I was still grabbing both sides of his face almost afraid that he would disappear if he let go.

"I have one more question for you though." He said hesitantly.

"Yeah what is?" I asked.

"Those cuts are from **him** aren't they?" He said darkly.

I just nodded. I knew he already figured that out, but it still hurt to think and talk about it.

"I'm sorry Brooke I truly am." He said sincerely.

"Its ok I am just glad that you know now." I said quietly.

He nodded and kissed me again with passion. The heat intensified immediately as we stripped each others clothing and made love again, but this time for the first time it was with no secrets I had nothing to hide from him anymore.

I didn't think I would survive telling him, but once again he saved me and I was so lucky to have him in my life.

**Hey so I really hoped that you loved it and I am not trying to black mail you or anything, but I refuse to write until I get at least one hundred reviews that's only 5 more reviews so please read and review it doesn't matter what you say!!!**

**Thanks again,**

**Summer Davis**


	15. Needing Each other

**Hey thanks soo much for the amazing reviews!! I was so happy to see I have 103 that's the most I have ever had so I really appreciate it!!! **

_I didn't think I would survive telling him, but once again he saved me and I was so lucky to have him in my life._

Nathan and I spent the next couple of hours together lying on the floor sleeping. I was exhausted mentally and physically. I opened my eyes and his were open too I smiled and kissed him.

_If I don't say this now I will surely break  
as I'm leaving the one I want to take_

He laced our fingers together and brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of my hand then he took his hand out of mine and kissed my wrist where the cuts are softly.

I sighed lightly now he knew and that was the important thing. My phone started ringing playing 'Spice up your life' by the Spice Girls and I knew it was Rachel. I reached over to grab it and looked at Nathan who looked worried.

_Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait  
my heart has started to separate_

"It's fine it is just Rachel." I reassured. He nodded and sat up with me and kissed my cheek I immediately smiled as I answered the phone.

"Hey slut!" I said enthusiastically.

"Hey bitch someone is in a good mood did Chase finally put out?" She asked with a laugh.

I froze. I had completely forgotten about Chase and Haley! Now the guilt was coming back and Nathan could tell something was wrong he looked at me concerned. I looked away and tried to sound happy again so she wouldn't get suspicious.

"Haha very funny but no I just got a really good night sleep last night." I lied pretty convincingly.

"Oh well whatever guess what if you haven't already heard me and Mouth are together!!" She exclaimed happily a lot more happily than I had ever heard her talk this was huge.

"Oh Rach I am so happy for you guys you two deserve to be happy together!" I said genuinely happy for them.

"I know thanks and I was also wondering if you wanted to hang out with Peyton and Haley today?" She asked still happy.

"Umm sure but can you call them because I have to shower and you know get ready for the day and then I have an errand to run." I said hoping she wouldn't ask questions about my errand.

"Brooke you still aren't ready for the day its almost two o'clock in the afternoon." She said.

I looked over to the clock she was right it was 1:54 and I still hadn't done anything…well that's not true I just did the hardest thing in my life so that counts its just no one else knows what besides Nathan who still looks worried. Man he is so adorable when he's worried boy how I loved that man.

I smiled slightly at him in reassurance that nothing was wrong and continued. "Yeah get over it I was having me time but I promise to meet you guys wherever if you call in like an hour with details."

"Ok and by the way when you say me time, are you referring to Brooking yourself because we all know you like to do that hence the name!" She said laughing.

I blushed and said, "No god Rachel you are so perverted I was sleeping in and watching movies by myself." I said lying again way more convincingly.

"Uh huh sure whatever you say whore look I've got to go I am still at Mouth's house but he is in the shower so I'm going to call them then call you later okay?" She said happily again.

"Yeah that's fine and wait you spent the night at Mouth's house did you two already have sex?" I asked curiously.

"No god who do you think I am we just I don't know spent the night together as in laying in the same bed and sleeping and I won't lie there was a massive amount of kissing involved but that's all." She said giggling.

I was so happy and jealous of them at the same time. They were so happy and I was too now, but at least they didn't have to hide their relationship.

"Well skank I think that Mr. McFadden is changing you for the better." I said matter of factly.

"Yes I agree and he is one hell of a kisser if I do say so myself!" She said.

"Well that's great but I have to shower so call me later tell Mouth I said hi." I said and hung up. I turned to Nathan who was looking at me expectedly and smiled.

_Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh  
I'll look after you_

He cupped my chin and kissed before pulling away and asking, "So what did Rachel want?"

"She wanted to tell me that she and Mouth are officially together now and she wants to hang out with me." I said leaving out a few details.

"Oh that's good he's liked her for forever and he'd be good for her." He said sincerely.

"I agree they're perfect together." I said happily thinking also about Nathan and me.

"Umm what did she say that upset you at first you stopped breathing for a second and I was afraid you might have another _attack_." He said the last word tightly.

_There now, steady love, so few come and don't go  
will you won't you, be the one I always know_

"Oh umm that was just the surprise of the new relationship and it just caught me off guard." I said lying soo horrible and he could tell.

"B why are you lying to me? I thought after everything we just went through a couple of hours ago you could talk to me about anything!" He said sadly.

_When I'm losing my control, the city spins around  
you're the only one who knows, you slow it down_

"No it's not that she just said something about Chase and I freaked out for a second that's all." I said telling the truth and not knowing why I lied in the first place. I looked down embarrassed.

Nathan lifted my chin up and looked at me, "Why didn't you just say that then?"

I shrugged, "I don't know because I feel so damn guilty and then there's Mouth and Rachel who can tell everyone about them and we have to keep this a secret and of course that is better than not being together at all because I couldn't do that, but I feel so bad for Chase and Haley." I said the last word really quietly waiting for his reaction.

_Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh  
I'll look after you_

He sighed and nodded in understanding. I knew he heard me say her name he finally said, "Look I know its not fair I guess how everything worked out for us I mean if you think about it our relationship hasn't always been easy or uncomplicated." I nodded agreeing completely.

"But we finally found our way back to each other which is all that matters." He said and smiled at me. I smiled back but he was still avoiding the real issues here.

_If ever there was a doubt  
my love she leans into me_

"Nathan you know we have to talk about the other people involved with this the _other_ people who could get hurt the worst if they found out." I said even though it hurt.

He looked like he didn't know what to say so I started again, "Chase is one thing I could break up with him we haven't even been together that long so its normal, but for you it is something completely different…" I trailed off hoping he would fill in the missing pieces.

_This most assuredly counts  
She says most assuredly_

Nathan looked at me with regret in his eyes and my heart stopped beating. I though he was going to leave me because he had changed his mind about us.

"B I am so sorry about everything I really am I wi-." I cut him off by getting up and going into Peyton's room and mine and slamming the door.

Tears started forming once again I was really getting sick of crying today, as I started digging through my drawers picking out some clothes to wear after I showered I put on my robe.

Nathan came bursting through the door with his clothes on looking really confused and pissed off.

_Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh  
Be my baby  
I'll look after you_

"Brooke what the hell I was right in the middle of saying something then you just up and left!" He said a little angry.

"Oh I am so sorry Nathan did I not let you finish dumping me sorry let me fill in where you left off…I wish that we could be together but I just don't love you enough to do that to Haley and James so thanks for the great sex but I have to get back to my perfect little family!" I yelled at him and he looked stunned, which surprised me and _that_ night was slowing starting to come back into my mind. _Our_ night I guess it what it was.

_It's always have and never hold  
you've begun to feel like home_

I was about to kick him out again when he interrupted me before I could start.

"What the fuck B have you not been listening to anything that I have been saying today? Do you really think that I could survive not being with you I mean I have barely been making it through the past three years without you and especially now after all we have been through like I would just leave you! I wouldn't do that to you but also I couldn't do that to myself I have to be with you Brooke there is no one else out there for me, but you have got to stop pushing me away and just let me in and talk to me!" He yelled and was breathless when he finished.

_What's mine is yours to leave or take  
what's mine is yours to make your own_

I was now the one who looked stunned, but that didn't stop the tears from falling down my face. He was right about everything I needed to stop pushing him away, because the truth was he was the reason why I was still here right now the only reason why I even existed in the first place.

I sighed because once again I felt really stupid and I brushed the tears away and I finally looked up at him and his eyes showed pain and anguish in them. I smiled weakly and stepped forward to be closer to him.

"I'm sorry Nate I really am. I thought that you were going to leave me and I-I just lost it I didn't mean to…" His breathtaking kiss cut me off and he literally had to hold me up so I wouldn't fall my knees were so weak.

_Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh_

I tangled my hands in his hair and he had one arm around my waist and the other on my cheek holding it firm as my tongue collided with his once again fighting for control. That was a lot like our relationship. We were both stubborn and didn't want to admit our weaknesses and we both wanted to take care of each other but wanted to be strong enough to not need the other one. But no matter how much we wished we were strong enough neither one of us were. It was painfully clear now that we were both in way too deep to ever go back and I knew that as long as I had Nathan I was going to be ok.

_Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh_

He untied the front of my robe and I pulled his shirt over his head he laid me down on the bed as I sucked at his neck before trailing kisses along his jaw line up to his ear where I knew that he liked it.

He moaned and stared to kiss my collarbone and ran his fingers through my hair and he kissed every inch of my face I had to have him.

_Oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh_

I stripped him of his shorts and boxers and he smiled very widely at me and I returned it before crashing my lips into his and grabbing another condom from the bedside table. I slipped it on and once again he was making me feel things that I had never dreamed of feeling before. He was rough but not too rough but it wasn't too soft it was hard but it didn't hurt it felt incredible.

_Be my baby  
Oh, oh, oh_

He nibbled on my lower lip and I moaned he grinned as he rocked his hips into mine. This was the man I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with I had to he was everything I could ever want and need he was my wonder wall and I loved him so much for it.

_I'll look after you_

Little did either one of us know that someone had been watching our fight and now our sex. They left quietly and made a promise to make sure we knew that they knew what was going on between Nathan and I.

TBC

**Ahh I tried to leave it on a cliffhanger so I hope you are all excited enough to review and I promise to update a lot faster!!! I really hope that you all loved it!! And that song was Look After You by the Fray. I added an extra chorus because I think it fits well with the chapter and also it is a great Brathan song! Oh and one more thing does anyone think its weird that I always end up making them have sex in almost every chapter is that getting really old?? Please review and tell me your honest opinion!!**


	16. Author's Note

Hey so I am so sorry that this is not a chapter! I am also really sorry about not updating in a really long time I have been really sick and I still am so please be patient with me.

**I just want to thank all of the most amazing reviewers in the world you guys are the best!! I should have a new chapter up really soon I promise!! I hope you continue to read and enjoy it!**

**Xoxo Summer Davis**


	17. Explanations

**Hey I know I just posted an author's note and I still am sick but I have some free time so thanks so much for the great reviews!! Here's the next chapter I hope you love it!!**

_Little did either one of us know that someone had been watching our fight and now our sex. They left quietly and made a promise to make sure we knew that they knew what was going on between Nathan and I._

As we both came at the same time like two volcanoes erupting together I just couldn't keep the smile off of my face. We were both panting very hard and he rolled off of me. The sweat was pouring off of both of our bodies. I turned and rolled onto my side and just stared at him.

He is perfect. Nathan is breathtakingly gorgeous. My eyes traveled all over every inch of his face memorizing all of his features. Then my eyes wandered down his neck and onto his muscular chest. Just the sight of his chest made my mouth water as weird as that sounds. I looked at his abs and I really just wanted to run my hands over them.

He is the definition of perfection. His looks are only part of it. He is the most sweet, kind, and truly amazing person ever. He has helped me through so much and has saved me more times than I can count. I really didn't deserve him. I think that is why I am always so fast to push him away, because I am afraid that he is going to realize I am not what he wants and leave again.

I need to learn to trust my instincts more. I trust him with my life and I need to trust myself. My eyes once again retraced his upper body because the sheet was covering the rest. I looked up and he was staring at me. I shivered again of course. His eyes are so piercing they are beautiful.

"See something you like?" He teased since he caught me staring.

I giggled a little bit before answering, "Maybe."

He smiled and flexed his muscles to show off, "Yeah you know you want this." He teased again.

I laughed this time and said, "Umm yeah I don't know I mean your cute and every thing, but I just don't think I see you that way maybe we should just be friends." I smiled playfully at him and he laughed at me back.

"Well that is too damn bad because you and I have never been friends. We can't be just friends we love each other too much." He said seriously. I smiled immediately at his touching words and I leaned up to capture his lips.

"I love you too." I said sweetly to him, as we pulled apart.

He sighed a little and grabbed my hand.

"We never finished our little talk earlier." He said as he looked at me.

I blushed because I had walked out in the middle of his sentence because of my stupid insecurities. I looked up at him and said, "I know I'm so sorry I just left, but I was scared of what you were going to say." I told him the truth.

He smiled reassuringly at me.

"Well I think you should know better by now that I can't leave you and just go on pretending that I don't care about you more than a friend should." He said.

"I thought we weren't friends." I said reminding him of what he said just minutes ago.

"We aren't but the rest of the world thinks that we are and that's all they think we are. You know if someone would have asked me a week ago not even that 5 days ago if I would be here with you right now I wouldn't have believed them." He said looking right through me.

"Me neither, but if someone would have asked you if we would ever have been together like this what would you have thought?" I asked him wondering where we stood.

He sighed again and I thought he was going to say never in a million years.

"Honestly I would have told them that they were crazy." He said and I looked down. My fears were confirmed. Then he took his hand and lifted my chin to look at him and he continued, "But that would have been the biggest lie. Brooke I have dreamed about this my whole life, I just never knew you felt the same way. I mean we have never only ever been friends, but we never told each other straight up how we felt." He paused for a second before continuing.

"We sort of did I guess all of the nights we slept over at each others houses and you know I would hold you, and the fact that we could communicate by looks I tried to tell you so many times by looking into your eyes. I was never one hundred percent sure though I was what you wanted. And every thing just got so screwed up because my stupid ass hole of a father rode me so hard about basketball and I was trying to make my self love Peyton and after awhile between the pressure from Dan and Peyton it just became too much.

Plus that night at your house well that was the worst fight I have ever been in and truthfully you scared the hell out of me that night. The way you kissed me, when you slapped me, and all of the things we said to each other. I didn't go over there expecting to have sex with you, but I never regretted doing it not once. The timing was off because I was with Peyton and who knew after that we would just stop everything we had together. But I never once regretted loosing my virginity to you, ever. It may not have been under ideal circumstances but I'm not going to lie it was amazing." He paused once more trying to collect his thoughts. I didn't want to interrupt him because he might never open up like this if I didn't let him have his time now.

"I was so ashamed of how things ended though not the sex, but not fighting for you. I loved you so much B you have no idea. You were my world…you still are I don't know what I would do with out you. I realize that now and I am going to fight B I am not loosing you again." He finished taking a deep breath. That was probably the longest speech he has ever given. I couldn't help but stare at him again. I took his hand that was holding mine and I kissed it.

"How did you know?" I asked after a minute of letting his words sink in.

He was staring at me again his eyes full of anguish. "Know what?" He asked.

"How did you know that I was hurting I mean you just walked in at the right time and I'm just curious and oh so grateful once again you saved my life." I said looking into his mid night blue eyes.

"I felt it. I never questioned it as soon as you really started hurting I knew I had to do something. I was driving in the car with James and I heard our song and I broke down thinking about our downfall. I sped home and dropped him off with my mom and Haley was in the shower and I told her that Skillz really needed to talk to me and it was an emergency. So I then came here and I saw you on the floor in so much pain and I just ached to help you and be with you. I seriously thought you were going to die." He said as pain returned into his eyes.

I sighed this time. "Well thank you for every thing." I said grateful.

"No problem." He smiled then his eyes averted to the clock on the bedside table. My eyes followed his and I jumped when I saw the time.

"Shit!" I said as I jumped up and grabbed my robe.

"B it's ok just call and say your going to be late to hang out with them." He said trying to calm me down.

"I know I will but I am really late and I haven't talked to Peyton in awhile or seen her do you think that it's weird I mean she is my best friend and I haven't talked to her in a few days well since yesterday at your house." I said picking out what was on top of my clothes piles in my drawers not paying attention to what I wear.

He shrugged as he got up and gathered his clothes and I was trying not to stare at his body…again.

"She's with Lucas all the time isn't she?" He asked.

"Yeah but I didn't think that she packed enough clothes the other night for a whole week at his house." I said wondering what clothes she had. Maybe she left clothes over there, Nathan and I used to do that and we weren't technically together.

"I'm sure she figured something out." He said logically.

I nodded. "I still have to go back to get my present that you gave me." I said excitedly as I threw my arms around his neck. He slipped his around my waist and smiled before kissing me.

"I'm glad that you like it and your thank you was more than enough that night let me tell you it was the best thank you I have ever received." He smiled cockily at me but playfully.

I laughed and nodded again. "Well what can I say it is the best present I have ever received I mean Nate that must have taken you hours to put all of those pictures together and plus the plane ticket! What were you thinking buying me a plane ticket to Paris?" I asked as I realized I never talked to him about that.

He shrugged like it wasn't a big deal or that it was obvious, "I just wanted to get you a memorable gift and plus I want you to follow your dreams B you deserve it and I did a little research and I know if you went to Paris you could meet some important people."

I actually had tears in my eyes because of how sweet he is I leaned up again and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"Thank you it's perfect." I said softly. He smiled at me.

"Baby as much as I don't want to do this I think I have to go." He said sadly.

He was _leaving_. But not forever just for a little while I had to remind my self to trust that.

"I know I don't want you to though." I said sadly too.

He kissed me again then leaned his forehead against mine and said, "Don't worry about anything I know I need to talk to Haley I will figure every thing out B okay I don't' want you to drive yourself crazy with worry. I'm not going anywhere I love you okay?" He said sincerely and I knew he meant it.

"I know I love you too and I promise not to drive my self crazy." I promised him. He gave me another peck and walked out saying he would call me later and he loved me.

I smiled. I loved it when he called me baby it made me feel special. I was really running late and I had to get ready fast. I showered in record time and got dressed too. I ran out to my car calling Rachel apologizing for running late and she said not to worry that Peyton was also running late, but she and Haley were hanging out at Karen's Café.

'Where is Peyton?' I thought as I drove toward that house that the last party was at. I called her and got her voice mail so I left a message telling her to call me. I was actually very preoccupied with all of this Nathan stuff.

I truly felt horrible for doing this to Haley, but she doesn't understand how much I need Nathan. I just wish he and I could be together without hurting anyone else. Then there was Chase who had called a few times, but I couldn't talk to him right now. Today was still a huge day for me with telling Nathan about my past and us finally talking about our feelings and the other people.

I was going to break up with Chase obviously he didn't deserve this, especially after his last girl friend cheated on him. That made me feel worse. I drove in a daze all the way to that house completely unaware of the very familiar car following me the whole way waiting to tell me they knew one of my biggest secrets.

**Hey so there it is I am really sorry that there hasn't been anyone else in this story really besides Brathan. I promise to uncover the person who knows their secret in the next chapter. I hope you loved it and please review remember I am very ill!!**

**P.S. you know I am totally using the fact that I'm sick to get sympathy reviews haha!!**

**Summer Davis**


	18. My Best Friend

**Hey everyone I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to update, but I tried to update The Quiet Things for people who read that and I also wrote a Brathan one shot if anyone is interested just visit my profile if you want to!! Okay but I am sorry it has taken me so long please forgive me!!**

_I was going to break up with Chase obviously he didn't deserve this, especially after his last girl friend cheated on him. That made me feel worse. I drove in a daze all the way to that house completely unaware of the very familiar car following me the whole way waiting to tell me they knew one of my biggest secrets._

I parked the car right outside of the house. I ran inside trying to remember which room the scrap book was in. I looked into a few bedrooms that looked similar but it wasn't in those rooms. I finally walked into the right room and about had a heart attack when I saw that I wasn't alone.

Sitting on the bed flipping through the pages of the present that Nathan had worked so hard on for me was none other than my best friend or someone who I consider a sister Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer.

She heard me come in and she looked up. Her eyes didn't give anything away she stood up holding the book. My breathing was slowly starting to even out, but not completely.

"Umm P. Sawyer what are you doing here?" I asked trying way too hard to sound casual and failing miserably.

"Oh I don't know I guess I could ask you the same thing B. Davis." She replied in a cool voice.

"Well I thought I left my jacket here the other night and I figured I had a few minutes before meeting you guys at the café so I came to try to find it." I exclaimed praying she would buy even though she already found what I was really looking for.

She grinned a little.

"Brooke don't lie to me I know everything." She said a little angry.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said holding onto a tiny piece of hope that she didn't.

"B. Davis you forget that I know you and I followed you here to ask why is it that after you find out that I have been kissing your boyfriend for a few weeks behind your back is so horrible while you have been sleeping with someone else's husband for god knows how long not bad at all?" She raised her voice towards the end making her point.

My mouth fell open. She followed me here? She knew everything? She must have come into this room while I was looking in the other ones.

"Peyt…I don't know what to say…I mean it just…we didn't plan it-." I tried to explain, but she cut me off.

"No Brooke what the hell are you two thinking? Nathan is married! To one of your best friends none the less I mean what the fuck Brooke how can you get so mad at me and Lucas when we didn't even sleep together and you guys weren't even married and with a baby!" She exploded.

She was right this was absolutely horrible and wrong.

"Peyton I know okay trust me I know." I said calmly hoping she would calm down. She was panting kind of hard she doesn't tend to get that angry.

I put my hands on her forearms and she started to calm down.

"Brooke really what are you thinking and how long has this been going on?" She asked in a more peaceful tone.

"Here lets sit down and I will explain everything." I said guiding us to sit side by side on the bed. The very bed that started this whole thing again after we tried to bury three years ago. I had to stop thinking about that and tell my best friend what has been going on.

"Okay well do you want me to start from the _very _beginning I mean before you were even apart of my life?" I asked knowing if she said yes I would have to tell her all about my cuts and all of the feelings I have tried to block out, but really it was time.

"Yes Brooke I am your best friend you can tell me anything." She said reassuringly I had almost forgotten she had been the "_other_" woman before also. But what me and Nathan has is different I'm not his mistress. Was I? I shook my head and continued.

"Basically I have known Nate my whole life, since we were both babies because our parents were such good friends you know rich and terrible parents. So we spent every minute together, playing, having fun, we were inseparable." I smiled at the memory of us together and young.

"Yeah I knew you two were close when I met you." She said.

I nodded and continued.

"Yes well we were and then you know as we got older it got harder to maintain such a close relationship. His dad started riding him about basketball and then he was interested in you." I said the last part with complete and utter jealousy.

"Wait were you jealous of me and Nathan?" She asked picking up on my tone.

"Yeah I really was I mean I loved him a lot Peyt, but he never seemed interested in me like that." I said truthfully.

"Brooke if you would have told me that you felt that way I never would have gone out with him and think about how much pain would have been avoided if you would have told me." She said smiling.

"Well telling you I loved Nathan wouldn't have saved me any pain other than emotional." I mumbled quietly secretly hoping she didn't hear me.

"What are you talking about Brooke other than emotional? Is there some other pain you would like to share with me?" She asked curiously. I looked into her pretty hazel eyes. I knew I could trust her but reliving this twice in one day was going to be hard.

I took a deep breath just hoping to get this over with quickly.

"Yes as a matter of fact P. Sawyer there is. Umm when I was nine my parents had this business party and some drunk ass guy named Rick sort of came into my room and raped me and it lasted for about 4 years before he got transferred to Florida, but I was so miserable because I was afraid all of the time and I didn't tell anyone so to deal with all of the pain I cut myself a lot and I'm sorry I never told you, but it was just so hard I mean I only just told Nathan this morning after I thought I was going to die of some sort of inner emotional attack, but he walked in at the last second and completely saved me from all of it and I love him so much Peyt I don't know I need him." I had to stop I was sobbing by the end and I looked up and Peyton had tears pouring down her face too.

"Wh-what Brooke you w-were raped?" She asked as her lips quivered together.

I nodded and sniffed.

"I know I should have to you but I was so afraid and here look at this." I said as I lifted up my sleeves to reveal scars that I usually cover up with make up when I couldn't wear long sleeves.

She put her bony fingers on my arms and traced my scars gently. She retreated after a minute and pulled me into her and wrapped her arms around me. I immediately wrapped mine around her and hugged her tightly.

"I'm so sorry Brooke I should have noticed something I can't believe I never noticed anything." She sobbed into my hair.

"No Peyton it is not your fault I shut everyone out." I said while tears continued to make their way down my cheeks soaking her t-shirt.

She stroked my hair in a loving and gentle way as we stayed there like that for a few minutes trying to process everything that had been said. We pulled apart a little so we could see each other's faces. She started to wipe away her tears at the same time as me.

"Wow Brooke I am so sorry you should never have had to go through that." She said regretfully shaking her head.

"It's okay Peyton I mean I can't change it and after awhile it finally stopped." I said softly as the memories started to surface again.

She hugged me again and pulled away.

"What did you mean today when you almost died of an attack?" She asked worriedly.

"Oh I don't know I was falling apart earlier because of this whole Nathan thing I mean I honestly feel like the worst person in the world. I think I was having an anxiety attack times a million. It hurt so badly and then Nathan came in because he sensed my pain and he saved me." I explained with a lot of emotion in my voice.

She wiped away her remaining tears and I could tell she was trying not to break down again.

"I should have been there Brooke I'm so sorry again I have been so wrapped up in Lucas, but this morning I came back to talk to you before we met up with Rachel and Haley, because when we were over there yesterday you seemed weird and now it all makes sense." She said putting the pieces together.

"Yes that was definitely awkward to the max." I said remember how bad it was, and then what we almost did in the closet.

"How long has it been going on?" She asked softly.

I sighed I knew I had to be honest with her.

"Well for me since the day I was born, but the first time we had sex was three years ago." I said looking down.

Peyton was silent for a second trying to do the math.

"So you two have been together since you were born but didn't tell anyone and have been sleeping together for _years_? Brooke that doesn't make any sense at all!" She said confused.

I shook my head at her with a small smile on my face.

"No Peyton I have been in love with him my whole life we were never "together" I put my fingers up for quotes. "One day after basketball tryouts he came over and I was too far gone with my miserable life so I completely pushed him away and tried to throw him out and somehow we ended up having sex after I slapped him during a fight and then we stopped being friends." I told her knowing she would figure out that she and Nathan were together when that happened.

"You slapped him and then you guys had sex?" She asked.

I nodded yes.

"Okay well I'm pretty sure I was dating him when that happened wasn't I?" She asked in a surprisingly not angry voice at all.

I looked down embarrassed and ashamed, but nodded yes anyway.

I heard her sigh. She might not have had a great relationship with him, but this must have hurt. I now realize that I was a little in the wrong with her and Lucas.

"Brooke its okay I'm not mad." She said gently.

I looked up surprised. How could she not be mad? After seeing that sex tape she punched me in the face?

"You're not mad?" I asked trying to make sure.

"I mean it hurts a little bit like the whole sex tape thing, but I'm not going to lie I did always wonder in the back of my mind after meeting the two of you if there was something else there. And apparently I was right, but when did it start up again?" She asked, and I am so happy that she isn't killing me right now I need her badly.

"The graduation party two weeks after the actual graduation." I said in an even voice my emotions were all over the place.

"What sparked this I mean was like hey do you remember that one night we had sex let's do that again!" She said sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes playfully at her.

"No we were talking and he brought me in here to give my present that was hidden in the drawer." I said picking up his gift.

"Okay so he brought you in here alone?" She asked.

"Yeah and I really don't think he planned on anything happening, but I got so emotional looking through the pictures of us growing up and then there was this." I said flipping to the last page and pointing to the plane ticket.

Her eyes got huge.

"Oh my god Brooke Paris, are you serious Nathan bought you a plane ticket it Paris?" She asked excitedly.

I laughed at her.

"Yes isn't it the sweetest gift in the world?" I said gushing at how much I really did love him.

She noticed too.

"So this is real isn't it, not like some one night stand or a crush you really love him don't you?" She asked seriously.

"Yes Peyton I do and it's horrible but I need him so much. I feel like he's apart of me you know like I need him to survive." I said intensely hoping she could understand that I'm not some cheap whore who is screwing someone else's husband because he isn't getting any from his wife.

She nodded in understanding. I knew she would.

"I understand Brooke even though my our relationship might not be as intense as yours with Nathan I really do feel like that with Lucas, like when your whole world is falling apart and you only need one thing to survive and you think of him and everything is okay?" She asked looking at me.

"Yes that is exactly it." I said happily because she knew what is like to need someone this much.

"Anyway well after he gave me this I honestly went in for a hug but our mouths were just kind of there and I jumped into his arms but kissed him at the same time." I said thinking back to how this happened.

"Okay so go on from graduation to today." She urged me to continue.

"Yes well after that we sort of took it a little further, but we didn't sleep together actually Haley called and he walked out. But that night after you left he comes banging on the door at three in the morning demanding that we talk. So I let him in and he pretty much kisses the life out of me and well I finally manage to stop and tell him how wrong it is. So then we were able to control ourselves enough to talk for a little bit, but it didn't get very far so he left. The next day we go over to his house and after you and Rachel leave it was a little weird and we sort of made out in his closet." I stop to see her reaction and she looks amused. She nods for me to continue.

"So then Haley comes upstairs and we get the hell out of there and he tells me to meet him at the river court at midnight. So I show up a little late because I wasn't sure if I should go and then basically we make the decision that we have to be together and that's when we came back to our place and had sex." I said stopping again.

She smiled.

"So how was it?" She asked giggling.

I laughed at her.

"God Peyton it was incredible!!" I said giggling and she was too.

"Okay so you two had sex then you told him about your past and the cuts?" She asked sadly.

"Yeah basically I mean when he saw them I freaked out and once again shut him out by throwing him out, but when I fell apart he came in and saved me so I thought I owed it to him and myself to finally be honest with him, and I was." I finished inhaling a deep breath.

She nodded again in understanding.

"Well I'm glad that you were honest with him and me Brooke I really am sorry about everything." She said honestly.

I hugged her tightly again.

"It's really okay thank you so much for understanding and not killing me about this." I said probably squeezing the life out of her, but she didn't complain she hugged me back just as tight.

"I have been there before loving someone you can't have. I love you so much B. Davis and I want you to know that you cant trust me with anything you're my bestest friend in the whole world!" She said teary eyed it had been a very emotional day.

"I love you too P. Sawyer and thanks for being my bestest friend in the whole world." I said releasing her. We smiled at each other again.

"Okay so we're about to go meet Rachel and Haley are you ready for this?" She asked concerned. She really was the best friend ever.

"Yes I think so Nathan said he was going to talk to her, I feel bad I mean it's his wife and they have a son together I feel like I'm ripping their family apart." I said sadly.

"No Brooke you can't help who you love, no matter how hard you try the heart needs what the heart needs you know look at me and Lucas." She said smiling.

"You two really do love each other." I said knowingly. She just smiled in return.

We stood up and I grabbed my present. I checked my phone we were really late meeting them now, but this was way more important I followed her out of the room. The room that officially held a very important memory for me and I followed her all the way to the café talking to her on the phone the whole time.

**Hey so once again sorry it took so long I hope it was worth it!! Please review I would appreciate it thanks again for being so patient you are the best!!**


	19. Haley's Secret

**Hey once again sorry for the lack of updating!! But finally here is a new chapter that I hope you love!!**

_We stood up and I grabbed my present. I checked my phone we were really late meeting them now, but this was way more important I followed her out of the room. The room that officially held a very important memory for me and I followed her all the way to the café talking to her on the phone the whole time._

Lunch wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. I mean Peyton was sitting right next to me and kept looking at me silently asking if I was okay and I would nod saying yes. I was a little bit quieter than the norm, but luckily no one noticed.

Meanwhile…

Nathan had been home for a bout a half an hour pacing the floor in his bedroom. He couldn't stop; he just kept going back and forth. He was absolutely sure that Brooke is the girl that he is meant to be with, but knowing that doesn't help the fact that he has to tell his wife and the mother of his son that same fact.

She would be hurt and he truly felt bad, but he couldn't keep lying to her or anyone else about his feelings. It wasn't that he didn't love her or that he just fell out of love with her, the truth is he is still partially in love with her, but it isn't even a fraction of what he feels for Brooke. He knows that he can live without Haley, but he just isn't strong enough to live without Brooke. It isn't an option he would die if he had to.

He sighed loudly and ran frustrated fingers through his hair as he kept pacing. What would he say? "Haley I love you and I don't regret our time together, but I have been cheating on you for a couple of days and I'm in love with Brooke." He shook his head.

"Haley I cheated on you with Brooke. I have loved her for my whole life and I can't not be with her." No! He didn't know what to say. He wondered how Brooke was doing at lunch with her. She must feel a little weird. He kept pacing quickly still trying to decide what to do.

After lunch Peyton had to run by Lucas' house to get her clothes and because as cheesy as it is she missed him. She knocked on his door when she got there.

"Hey babe." He said happily greeting her with a warm kiss on the lips.

She smiled and walked inside. "Hey yourself did you miss me?" She asked with a sly smile as she got into his bed. He immediately slid in next to her. "Of course I did." He said smiling as he kissed her forehead.

Peyton was a little worried about Brooke. At lunch she was able to cover herself, but she knew her best friend and she just hoped that all of this didn't come back and hurt her in the end, she had definitely been hurt enough already. That thought brought tears to her eyes as she thought about her best friend getting raped and hiding it and cutting herself because she couldn't deal with it. She felt like the worst person for not noticing.

Lucas felt hot tears soak into his shirt and was concerned instantly and sat up to look at his girlfriend. "Peyton babe what's wrong?" He asked with nothing but concern.

She sat up too and sniffed trying to prevent more tears from coming, but it didn't work they kept pouring out. She looked up at Lucas and it broke her heart to see him so concerned, but it wasn't her place to tell Lucas Brooke and Nathan's secret. She just wasn't sure if she could keep it from him.

She shook her head and continued to sob into his arms and he held her. Silently he just held her and told her it was alright, even though he had no idea why she was crying he would ask her after she was calm and felt better for now he would just hold her.

Rachel left after receiving a call from Mouth. The truth is Haley couldn't be happier for them. They deserved to be happy and they deserved each other. She saw Rachel's eyes light up when she saw that Mouth was calling. It was the same look that Peyton always got when someone brought up Lucas or he called her. It was the same look that she hoped she got when someone brought up Nathan. But deep down she wasn't sure if she did get that look. For awhile now Nathan had been different. They didn't seem like the same couple they had been in the picture on her nightstand. It had been lately that it was more obvious but for a long time it's been building up, something lately must have triggered it. Haley just wasn't sure what.

She also noticed that Brooke was a little bit more quiet than usual, but she looked exhausted, and she did mention not getting a lot of sleep so that was probably it. Brooke had just left so she was alone in the café. It was practically her second home. There was music playing softly and there were customers throughout the place.

Haley got all of her things and started toward the door, when the next song came on the radio she _froze._

_Dancin' where the stars go blue  
Dancin' where the evening fell _

_Dancin' in my wooden shoes  
in a wedding gown_

She smiled happily. It wasn't like she had never heard herself on the radio, but every time she did she couldn't help but feel so great about herself.

_Dancin' out on 7th street  
Dancin' through the underground  
Dancin' little marionette  
Are you happy now?_

As she heard his voice her heart started beating faster. She was still standing in front of the door not being able to leave. She couldn't leave, she had to stay. She needed to keep hearing _his_ voice.

_Where do you go when you're lonely  
Where do you go when you're blue  
Where do you go when you're lonely  
I'll follow you  
When the stars go blue_

She closed her eyes and thought back to the last time she saw him, the night that changed her life.

_Flashback_

_It had been 6 days since the accident and Nathan dove in after Rachel and Cooper. He still wouldn't open up to her and tell her what happened. She was always there for him, but he just wouldn't let her in and it hurt her to know that her husband didn't trust her enough to open up to her._

_He was always at that bridge. Everyday, every night, it didn't matter he was there. One night after another failed attempt to get him to talk to her she decided to go out. It was a little uncharacteristic of her. She wasn't one for bars, but this was technically a bar and grill so it was ok. _

_She pulled into a parking spot and just as she was about to walk inside the last person she expected to see walked out. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. Her heart started rapidly beating faster and she couldn't look away._

"_Well, well, well if it isn't Miss Haley James Scott coming to party!" He said sarcastically._

_She smiled despite herself. He always did that to her._

"_Chris hey I didn't know that you were in town." She said surprised. _

"_What didn't you miss me?" He asked cockily, but he smiled._

_She rolled her eyes at him, "Yeah maybe I did a little." She smiled as he opened his arms for her and she gladly accepted his hug._

_She held onto him tightly for a minute before pulling away. She really did miss him._

"_So what Chris Keller wants to know is why is little wife coming to this joint so late at night?" He asked her with curiosity._

_She shrugged not really knowing why. Maybe because her husband refused to talk to her and trust her? Yes that could be it._

"_I just wanted to get away for awhile." She said honestly as she looked up at him. He stared at her intently for a minute before nodding._

"_Chris Keller gets it, but how about instead of wasting your money in there you come and hang out on the old tour bus?" He asked her smiling with hopeful eyes._

_She scanned the parking lot and found the bus. She smiled at the fun memories she has on that bus and nodded. "Sure Keller lets go." _

_He smiled at her and led the way. Once they were inside she made herself comfortable and he sat right next to her._

"_So Haley what is bothering you and I want the truth." He said looking directly into her eyes. Her stomach fluttered._

_She sighed knowing that she can't lie to him, and it bothered her to some degree that she was so open with him and Nathan couldn't be open with her._

"_Ever since the accident Nathan isn't the same. He won't talk about it, but he keeps going back to that damn bridge where it happened and I think that he would just feel better if he talked about it, but he won't and I think it is because he doesn't trust me enough to let me in." Her voice cracked on the last word as the tears cascaded down her face._

_Chris put his arms around her and let her cry. "Hey it's ok." He said soothingly and for a while Haley believed him. She felt safe and comfortable in his arms and she knew it was wrong, but she was so damn lonely. Finally after a few minutes she pulled away, but his arms were still around her._

"_Are you okay?" He asked gently. _

_Laughing with your pretty mouth  
laughing with your broken eyes  
laughing with your lover's tongue  
in a lullaby_

"_I'm fine." She said wiping her tears._

"_I'm sorry for breaking down like this. I'm a mess." She looked at herself suddenly feeling embarrassed for her actions._

"_Don't worry about it you look fine." Chris said in all seriousness._

_Haley smiled at him a real smile. He smiled back._

"_So how about a song?" He asked suddenly. _

"_I'm sorry what?" She asked confused._

_He laughed and reached for his guitar. _

"_Ok what do you want to sing?" She asked actually excited to sing with him again. _

"_Well earlier in the bar they played a song that reminded me of you and I think you know it pretty well." He said and started playing the very familiar chords to 'When the Stars Go Blue'. She laughed a light and carefree laugh. He smiled at her continuing to play. _

"_Dancing when the stars go blue." He began beautifully. She watched him play and was in a trance by his voice. He looked at her and gave her a join in look._

"_Dancing where the evening fell, dancing in my wooden shoes and a wedding gown." She sang by herself feeling amazing._

_They sang the rest together, never taking their eyes off of each other and singing in perfect harmony._

_Where do you go when you're lonely  
Where do you go when you're blue  
Where do you go when you're lonely  
I'll follow you_

_The heat started to build between them. They were sitting very close together and with the music everything was perfect. As they kept singing their heads were moving towards each other slowly._

_When the stars go blue  
where do you go when you're lonely_

_Where do you go when the stars go blue?_

_They finished at the same time and he played the last chord. He set the guitar on the floor and pulled Haley into him as their lips came together. It was soft and passionate. He slid off her jacket and she pulled his shirt over his head. They didn't think they just did. After awhile it was too late to stop. After Haley felt incredibly guilty and said that it was a mistake and that he could never tell anyone._

_He understood, but it hurt him to know she thought that it was a mistake. He thought it was amazing just like he had always imagined it would be. She stepped off of the bus, but turned around. He was right behind her and she leaned up and kissed him one more time on the lips and whispered, "I'm sorry Chris." She walked back to her car with more tears falling down her face. She couldn't believe that she cheated on Nathan with Chris again._

_She truly felt terrible, but what made her feel worse was that she thought it was incredible and she loved how he made her feel. It wasn't a mistake. She had to block those thoughts out and get home to her husband._

_Later though she would take a certain test, and find out that she was carrying his child and their one night of passion couldn't be forgotten. The fact that she was pregnant made her feel worse about Nathan, but knowing that she would always have a piece of him with her made her feel better, but since that night she couldn't handle listening to that song and she never did._

Present

She was still standing there only now she had tears again just like that night. She wished he was here again to wipe them away. Haley forced herself out of the café after the song ended with memories of that night fresh in her mind. She loved Nathan she truly did, but something about Chris always made her feel like she belonged somewhere. She couldn't tell him or Nathan it would ruin everything and she couldn't bear to hurt either of them so she hid it and took the easy way out.

Haley wiped her tears and drove home without knowing that she was in for one hell of a conversation when she got there.

**Okay so I know it didn't have any Brathan or anything, but I promise the next chapter will be crazy amazing with everything so please review and tell me what you think!! Oh and I know that in the first episode of season 4 she was pregnant already but I changed it!!**


	20. Telling Haley

**Hey so sorry again for taking so long to finally update!! I would like to thank everyone for reviewing I love reading what you guys think of each chapter!! So here is the next one…hope you love it!!**

_Haley wiped her tears and drove home without knowing that she was in for one hell of a conversation when she got there._

"Nathan and Brooke have been doing what??" Lucas asked his girl friend Peyton with wide eyes.

Peyton knew he would react like this, but she had to tell him. She quickly finished wiping her tears and tried to calm him down.

"Lucas please don't freak out." She begged.

"How can you expect me not to freak out Peyton?" He yelled as he got up off of the bed and started pacing around his room. _(I love making Lucas and Nathan sort of seem like twins…so basically they are doing this at the same time:) _

"Lucas I told you because I knew I could trust you." Peyton tried to reason with him.

"Yeah thanks for that, but what about Haley?" He was still yelling and pacing. Then he suddenly stopped.

"Oh I am going to kill that selfish ass hole for doing this to her!" He yelled viciously and started for the door. Peyton was luckily closer and got there first and blocked his way.

"No you can't!" She yelled at him with panic filled eyes.

"Peyton you can't tell me something like this and just think I'm not going to kill him for cheating on my best friend and his _wife!"_ He said emphasizing the word wife.

Peyton understood where he was coming from. Nathan shouldn't cheat on Haley. But the truth is he shouldn't have married her in the first place when he knew he was in love with Brooke. As soon as she thought that, she figured she should tell him.

"No Lucas please can we just talk before you do anything and let me explain everything?" She begged him. She also gave him the puppy dog eyes as a little extra that she knew he would give into. He stared at her for a second and then sighed giving in he nodded.

They went back to sit on the bed and Peyton broke everything down for him and told him exactly what Brooke told her this morning.

"Wow." Was all Lucas had to say when Peyton was done.

"Yeah I know now you know why I was crying. I mean after all this time I never noticed and she is my best friend." She said sadly.

Lucas nodded understandingly. "Peyton its not your fault you didn't know, she pushed you and everyone away." He explained to her.

"Yes, but I still feel bad I mean he did that to her for years and she never said anything." She told him with watery eyes. He pulled her into him and hugged her tightly.

"Its isn't your fault okay I don't want you to blame yourself." He said soothingly.

She nodded and whispered, "I won't, but from now on I'm paying closer attention to her and always making sure she is okay." She said with authority.

They pulled apart and Lucas wiped away her tears. "I agree I will too, but now we need to figure out what we're going to do about Nathan, Brooke, and Haley." He said with sadness. He didn't like that his best friend was getting hurt because of this, but he understood completely what lengths you need to go to, to be with the person you can't live without. He did the same thing with Peyton.

"What can we do? I don't think that you are supposed to know any of this Brooke just told me this morning and I couldn't keep from breaking down earlier and I know that I can trust you so I don't know what to do now." She said to him. She was confused and a little scared that if Lucas talked to Nathan than Brooke would know that she told Lucas and hate her. And Peyton could not loose Brooke as her sister again.

"I think we should talk to one of them about what's going on. I don't think either one of us can tell Haley Nathan can at least be man enough to do that." He said.

"He is well Brooke told me earlier that after lunch when she got home he was going to tell her I just hope that he doesn't back out and not tell her. I'm not saying that to be bitchy towards Haley this will probably destroy her and I feel terrible for her and I will be there for her if she needs it, but Luke you were not there this morning listening to Brooke. It broke my heart watching her talk about how much she loves him and about how bad she feels about what its going to do to their marriage." She said sadly again. It was a lot to take in all in one day and then telling Lucas.

"I bet it was Peyt and I'm sorry that I couldn't be there for her I just don't know what to do either. But its Haley and I love her you know she is my best friend, but I completely understand what is going on between Nathan and Brooke. He feels for her the way I feel about you." He said sincerely. Peyton smiled and kissed him passionately.

"I love you." She said whole-heartedly.

"I love you too." He said smiling.

"I think we should wait and find out from whoever what happened and then deal with it then." Peyton said.

"Okay we'll wait it out. I'm sure he is telling her right now and she'll come bursting through the door upset or he will because she kicked him out or Brooke will because she feels guilty." He said amused.

"God when did our lives become so damn dramatic huh? I swear we give all of those teen dramas a run for their money!!" She said laughing. (Ahaha get it!! Lol)

"Yeah I know what you mean, but hey technically this isn't _our_ complicated situation its Haley, Brooke and Nathan's so you know for once we are the simple happy couple!!" He said happily.

"Oh your right we are way to go!" She said cracking up and giving him a high five. At least they were happy and later they would deal with their friends whom they considered family.

Nathan had been pacing for what seemed like hours. He wasn't even sure what time it was. He couldn't think strait. So he kept walking back and forth, just trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He looked over at their wedding picture. They looked happy, hell they were happy and he loved her. It just wasn't the same though, and as horrible as it is for a split second when he proposed he saw Brooke's face say yes to him not Haley's and the same thing happened during the wedding as he was saying his vows the sun was shining and was almost blinding and when he looked at her he saw Brooke's face as he spoke.

So in reality when he promised 'Always and Forever' he promised Brooke not Haley, but that does not justify at all what he did. He was so lost in thought he didn't hear Haley come into their room. He was still pacing and when he turned around to continue he stopped suddenly clenching his chest.

"Oh god Haley you scared me!" He said breathlessly.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to I just…I thought you heard me." She finished quietly. They couldn't even talk to each other anymore. What was happening? Maybe it had always been like this and they were just kidding themselves this whole time. Maybe they weren't meant to be. Her eyes got wide all of a sudden. Where did that come from? And why did Chris flash into her mind as soon as she thought of being meant to be?

She looked up and Nathan looked weird. Did he even notice her reaction at all? Apparently not. She sighed and sat on the bed and Nathan followed suit and sat next to her.

"Umm Haley we need to talk." He said nervously and he ran his fingers through his hair again out of nervous habit.

Haley wasn't surprised at all. He had been acting different and there had been something missing for a while, but she still wondered what he was going to say. Its not like they had been fighting or even disagreeing but something was off.

"Yeah what do you want to talk about?" She asked as she turned to face him. He took her hands in his before he started. He looked at them and realized that they didn't fit, not like his and Brooke's do now thinking back they never did he just wanted them to.

He sighed before he began. He looked up and looked into her eyes. They were beautiful and he looked at all of her. She was an amazing person, she really was and he felt horrible for what he was about to do.

"God Haley this is hard, but I have to tell you something." He said slowly. She nodded for him to continue, but she had a really bad feeling in her stomach.

"I don't know how to say this exactly umm I am telling you in advance right now how sorry I am and I do love you, but…" He stopped again. This was hard but he had to do it.

"But what Nathan?" She said softly looking down at their hands. She knew where this was going.

"But I've been sleeping with Brooke." He said looking down guiltily. Haley's head shot up. She had not been expecting that at all.

"You've been what?" She asked as her voice rose.

"I said I slept with Brooke." He said in an even voice. This time he looked up at her and saw her surprised expression.

Haley pulled her hands from his and got up.

"Haley I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you I swear!" He said sincerely.

"Really Nathan is that what you were thinking as you were screwing Brooke behind my back!" She yelled angrily. She didn't usually get upset about stuff, but this was just so shocking to her. He cheated. 'Wait I cheated too.' She thought and she felt tears sting behind her eyes.

"Haley I really am sorry okay, but I couldn't stop I love her." He explained to her as he stood up. Haley couldn't talk to him she had to get out of there to think or clear her head. Nathan loved Brooke? Since when? She didn't want to know the truth.

"I've got to go I can't be here." She said as she turned around and ran out of the room. Nathan immediately followed her out.

"Haley wait please just let me explain. I'm so sorry!" He yelled as she ran out of the house and got into her car. The tears fell down her face as she drove off. She was crying for so many reasons. The main one is her whole marriage had been a lie. There was no 'Always and Forever' he didn't love her. She thought of Chris again and she felt so guilty that she never told Nathan.

Now though she wasn't sure if she ever could. When did their lives get like this? All of the lying and cheating. She didn't know what to believe anymore. She also didn't know which was worse the fact that her husband had been sleeping with one of her closest friends or when she slept with Chris and had his baby. She pulled over and sobbed into her hands. She knew hers was worse because she never came clean about it. She just hid it.

It didn't matter if she ever told Nathan or Chris the truth now. They would both hate her and never forgive her. She continued to sob harder. Her life was a mess and she couldn't keep pretending that she was happy anymore. She didn't know what to do so she stayed there and tried to think of something that made her feel better. As hard as she tried she couldn't stop crying. Everything was so screwed up. Her marriage was over. The sad thing is it had been for a really long time, but neither one of them would admit it. She stayed there still trying to figure out what to do.

Nathan was still standing out side. He felt so horrible and he didn't know what to do. He knew he had to be honest with Haley, but he never meant to hurt her. He sighed and went back inside. They would have to talk later after the shock wore off. He would give her the space she needed.

"Nathan honey are you alright?" His mom asked him concerned.

He shook his head saying no. "No mom not at all." He said looking at her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked still concerned.

"You're going to hate me if I tell you." He said honestly.

"No I won't. Remember what I said this morning I won't judge and you can tell me anything." She urged hoping he would tell her what was wrong.

He sighed. It couldn't be that bad.

"Basically I have been sleeping with Brooke and I just told Haley and she ran out of here and I feel like the biggest ass in the world. I think I would even give Dan a run for his money." He said sadly.

"Oh Nathan you are nothing like him do you understand?" She said as she hugged him.

"Mom he may have been the worst dad in the world, but-." His mom cut him off.

"Nathan look you made a mistake and you at least told her. How long has this been going on?" She asked as she released him.

"It started I guess…well that's the thing mom if you want to get technical I have been in love with her god for as long as I can remember, but its so complicated." He tried to explain.

She nodded. "I knew it." She said with a smile.

He looked at her confused. "Knew what mom?"

"Nathan I watched the two of you grow up together and you were inseparable. I was so shocked when you stopped being friends but you never talked about it so I never pushed you too. I could always sense that your feelings for her were never just friendly." She said knowingly.

He was surprised that she had known all of these years.

"Mom do you think I made a mistake by marrying Haley?" Nathan asked her hesitantly.

"Honestly I think that you were too young to really know that she was the person you were supposed to spend your life with, and I always thought that somehow you and Brooke would find your way back to each other. At least I was secretly hoping." She said.

"You wanted me and Brooke together? Why didn't you tell me?" He asked her angrily.

"What would it have done Nathan? You told me that you loved Haley and wanted to spend your life with her and I let you make that decision like an adult." She said sternly.

"Yeah but if we had talked about Brooke than I might not have married her and then I never would have cheated." He explained to her.

"Nathan you did what you did, now you have to deal with the consequences. I love you no matter what, but you need to fix all of this. How do you feel about Haley?" She asked trying to help him.

"Well I love her I do and I feel really bad about everything." He said truthfully.

"Okay well how do you feel about Brooke?" Deb asked.

"I love her so much it can't compare to anything else. I don't want her to get hurt I couldn't take it if she did." He said whole-heartedly.

"That tells me that you know who you can and can't be with out and I hope that everything works out for you." She said sincerely.

"Thanks mom." He said gratefully and walked back upstairs.

While Deb was alone she laughed and whispered, "I knew it. I knew he would come to his senses." She shook her head and went to check on Jamie.

Ring, ring

"Nathan are you okay?" I asked concerned when I saw who was calling.

"Yeah I am for the most part, how are you?" He asked with a lot of concern.

"I'm fine I was going to call you, but then I wasn't sure if I should." I said in a panic. I was nervous about what Haley would think after he told her.

"I told her B. I told her and she ran out of the house with tears on her cheeks." He said sadly.

I immediately felt horrible. I was ripping apart their marriage.

"Oh Nate I'm so sorry about all of this do you want me to go find her?" I said hoping that I could help him in any way I could.

"Its okay baby and its not your fault we can't help how we feel." He said sweetly.

I couldn't help but smile. "I think I will anyway I just feel like I should tell her the truth and explain why I need you so much." I said intensely.

"After everything we have been through today are you sure that your up for that?" He asked.

"I'll be fine I owe it to her to do this." I said honestly.

"It's okay with me, but make sure your okay before you go." He said concerned. I smiled at how protective he is of me.

"I will and as soon as I'm done talking to her I will call you." I promised. I sighed sadly I love Haley, she is a great friend and I stole her husband. Nathan heard me sigh.

"Look baby it's going to be fine. She knows and we don't have to hide it anymore. I'm not going to let you get hurt, I promise." He said seriously.

"I know thanks baby I love you." I said a little choked up.

"I love you too babe now call me as soon as your done so I know your okay." He said sincerely.

"I will, but I think I should go look for her so I'll talk to you later." I said and hung up the phone.

I drove around for a good hour before finally giving up. She didn't answer any of my calls, but I wasn't surprised. I was driving back to the apartment when I saw her car. I pulled over to where she was and made my way to the car praying that this went well.

**Hey so there it is and I promise not to take so long to update next time!! Please review it means the world to me!! Also thanks for all of the amazing reviewers!! Nicole especially thanks Twin!!**


	21. My Side of The Story

Hey everyone

**Hey everyone! I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! I want to thank Nicole my twin for giving me the best feedback and inspiration for this!! Also thanks to Tamarindo and Toddntan for great reviews!**

_I drove around for a good hour before finally giving up. She didn't answer any of my calls, but I wasn't surprised. I was driving back to the apartment when I saw her car. I pulled over to where she was and made my way to the car praying that this went well._

I walked up to her car. I got a good look inside and she was leaning into her hands crying. I immediately felt 10 times worse for making her cry. I hesitated and knocked on her window.

She jumped and looked up. When she saw me her expression turned from sad to pissed off. She got out and slammed her door shut. I backed up instinctively. She didn't say anything to me. All she did was walk right up to me giving me a death glare and she slapped me right across my face.

The sound echoed. My eyes widened as far as they had ever been as I turned to look at her. Her eyes burned holes into me. I was actually afraid of her at that moment. I knew I deserved it though. I had done the worst thing anyone can do.

She tore her eyes from mine and she looked at her hand surprised. She opened her mouth slightly before backing up to her car. Once she hit it she put her head down and started sobbing again. My own eyes had tears brimmed on the edges as I felt my aching cheek. It stung like a bitch.

"Haley." I whispered brokenly. She shook her head and slid down to the ground. I had never seen her look so sad before. My tears fell down as I walked over to sit next to her.

I slid down the side of the car and we sat in silence for a while just staring out while tears rolled down our cheeks.

Finally I broke the silence. "I'm so sorry tutorgirl." I took deep breaths to keep myself from having another breakdown.

"Why did you do it?" She whispered. I hadn't expected her to talk at all so I wasn't even sure if she said anything.

"What?" I asked softly.

"Why did you do it?" She repeated looking at the ground.

I wasn't sure how to respond to that. What could I say? We didn't plan on it because everyone says that even though it's the truth in our case. I sighed I think I should tell her the truth about our friendship.

"Haley I'm so sorry I love you and hurting you is killing me." I said honestly. She looked up at me expectedly to continue. Her expression was hard to read.

"I have known Nathan my whole life and when we were younger we were best friends. We were inseparable for about 15 years since our parents knew each other when they had us. I fell for him hard and I never thought he would want me like that. He asked Peyton out and my heart broke." I said sadly before continuing.

"I was going through a lot of my own personal stuff then so one time when he came over after I decided that we shouldn't be friends anymore I threw him out and we had a big fight. I'm not going to lie but that night we had sex in the middle of our fight and after we were done he left and he tried to talk to me later but I ignored him." I said wiping a tear that escaped my eye.

I looked up to see her face. She looked like she was piecing everything together. I had been through a lot today and the sun was setting.

"So you and Nathan had sex when you were 15 while he was dating Peyton and stopped being friends afterwards." She said slowly looking at me.

I nodded ashamed. I was the biggest hypocrite ever.

"Haley please let me explai-." I started but she cut me off.

"What else happened?" She asked. I looked at her surprised I figured she was going to yell at me.

"Umm well we weren't friends for a while and he was such an ass while he dated Peyton and we never talked and I was someone who I didn't like always partying and sleeping around I'm so ashamed and embarrassed." I said looking down.

"When did you guys start sleeping together again?" She asked quietly.

"The graduation party we kissed and after that we couldn't stop and one night we slept together." I said almost inaudible.

She looked sad and didn't say anything.

"How did it happen? If you guys never talked and didn't hang out that often how did you all of a sudden start having an affair?" Her voice broke at the last word.

"I went to congratulate him about Jamie after you asked me to be his godmother." I stopped and held back a sob as I realized how horrible I truly was.

She scoffed but didn't say anything.

"He said he had a graduation present for me and I didn't think anything of it so he gave it to me in this bedroom and I gave him a hug and all of my old feelings came rushing back and we kissed." I said in a low voice. The sun was almost all the way set and the wind was picking up.

She started shaking with sobs again and I put my arms around her and held her.

"I'm so sorry Haley you have no idea." I said tearing up again.

She shook her head and said something I never expected to hear. "I slept with Chris." My eyes flew open and I was almost positive that I didn't hear her correctly.

"I'm sorry what was that?" I said into her hair. She lifted her head and said again, "I slept with Chris last year and he's Jamie's father."

My mouth dropped open. "Are you sure?" Is all I said.

She nodded with tears cascading down her face.

"Whoa." I said softly.

"I'm so sorry I didn't mean to but he wouldn't let me in and he was never home…the bridge with Rachel and Cooper…I was so lonely." She said sobbing so it didn't make a lot of sense but I was able to understand.

"After the accident." I said and she nodded.

"When did you see Chris?" I asked with genuine curiosity.

"At a bar one night he walked out as I walked in and we went to the bus and he…we sang together and I just felt good he made me feel whole." She sobbed into my shoulder.

"Its okay." I said and sat there a little stunned. I couldn't believe she slept with Chris and he was Jamie's father! Nathan was going to flip.

"Are you going to tell Nathan or Chris?" I asked.

"I wanted to but he would hate me." She said sadly as she sat up.

"Both of them would."

"You should tell them they deserves to know." I said.

"Our whole marriage is full of one lie after another I mean I love him but there's no truth and we just fell apart and Chris..." She trailed off trying not to cry again.

"I'm sorry Haley I never wanted to hurt you I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you." I said honestly.

"Do you really love him?" She asked me.

I smiled sadly. "Yes I do more than anything." I told her.

"Do you think that its fair how you treated Lucas and Peyton after they did that too you? I stood up for you to Lucas my very best friend and told him how much I didn't like what he was doing and I defended you!" She said angrily as she stood up. I stood up too.

"I know but I thought I loved Lucas as much as I did Nathan and I felt betrayed. But I realize now that they made a mistake and I can only hope that you can forgive me Haley, but I understand if you never speak to me again." I said sadly hoping that didn't happen.

"I don't know Brooke you slept with my husband…and I…I need some time." She struggled to say.

I nodded in understanding.

"Okay I'll wait as long as you need tutorgirl." I said smiling in hope. She nodded.

"I'll tell Nathan when I'm ready." She said looking down.

"He won't hate you." I said knowing this would kill him. She tried to smile but failed.

"I hope so." She said as she got back into her car.

"Umm Haley how do you feel about Chris?" I asked before she could close the door.

She didn't say anything. She looked torn, sad, and confused. I really hope she forgives me.

"I don't know it's complicated." She said wiping her face to rid herself of all the tears.

I nodded and watched her drive away. I wasn't completely sure but I think Haley has some unsorted feelings for Chris that she needs to figure out. I though I would feel better once she knew but I feel so bad and shocked. She was never the type of person to do something like that. Nathan loves Jamie.

This was really going to crush him and I hoped that he would be okay. I bit my lip knowing I couldn't tell him and Haley was still upset with me with good reason. I sighed and went back to the car. I was going to make one more stop before going home to figure out the rest of this crazy mess.

**Okay so there it is and I know it took me so long to update but I really hope it was worth it!! Sorry for the lack of Brathan but next chapter will have everyone in it! Thanks to everyone who reviewed!! Also I hope you review this chapter because I need to know what you think!**


	22. Nathan Finds Out The Truth

**Hey so I'm sorry for not updating for so long! I hope no one forgot about the story! I just want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter it means a lot. Thanks especially to Nicole my twin!!**

_This was really going to crush him and I hoped that he would be okay. I bit my lip knowing I couldn't tell him and Haley was still upset with me with good reason. I sighed and went back to the car. I was going to make one more stop before going home to figure out the rest of this crazy mess._

I drove around for a while listening to the radio trying to sort everything out. I could not believe that Haley cheated on Nathan. I feel so bad for her keeping Chris a secret and the fact he's Jamie's father from everyone must have killed her inside. It seems that we all have our secrets we keep hidden from the world.

I smiled at the irony of everything. We were all cheaters and liars. Every single one of us! Lucas cheated on me with Peyton. Haley cheated on Nathan with Chris and Nathan cheated on Haley with me while I cheated on Chase with Nathan.

"Jesus Christ what is wrong with us?" I asked out loud while coincidentally the song 'Unfaithful' by Rihanna came on. What are the odds right?

_Story of my life searching for the right but it keeps avoiding me._

_Sorrow in my soul because it seems that wrong really loves me company._

I listened to the words before rolling my eyes and changing the station. I didn't need to play the radio game right now. I of course thought of all of my friends and the truth is we are all good people with good hearts, but half of the stuff we do is making us all go to hell. That is the sad truth that we are all going to end up there someday.

I smiled at that thought. Everything was so messed up I mean all of the people I love and care about and I are going to spend eternity in the pits of hell, but the only bright side to that was we would all be there together. Once again the irony.

"God we all deserve each other." I whispered smiling. The truth was actually pretty simple. All of us are dumbasses.

We start out dating one of our very best friends knowing we're in love with someone else from the group. Then we don't do the right thing and break up with them no of course not we lie, cheat and sneak around because we aren't mature enough to have the needed conversation with the person we're dating.

Although each situation was different no matter what we all at some point had a chance to do the right thing before it got to out of hand. I should have told Haley about Nathan that morning at breakfast as well as Chase and Peyton sure as hell should have told me about Lucas before I even started dating him, and also Haley should have told Nathan about Chris the next day even though he was still dealing with the accident he deserves to know. And now I have to lie to the one person who knows when I'm lying every time.

I stopped the car in front of Lucas' house and sat there a second.

"He's going to hate me." I whispered sadly. Lucas and I were still very good friends despite our rocky history. I love him I'm just not in love with him, but I don't regret our time together at all.

I walked up to the door in his room and just walked inside. Of course I walked in on Lucas and Peyton making out on his bed.

"Eww gross get a room you cheating whores!" I said jokingly with a disgusted face.

They looked up and smiled at me. "I think based on recent events we have the right to say the same thing to you as well miss Davis." Lucas said with a smile as he rolled off of Peyton.

I smiled at them. "That is besides the point Mr. Scott." I said as I sat down on the edge of the bed. Lucas and Peyton were laughing about something and I wasn't sure what it was. It was like when someone says something and everyone else knows what that person is talking about except you because it's there inside joke and you weren't there for it.

"Umm did I miss something?" I asked as they stopped laughing.

"No we were talking earlier and I called that either you, Nathan or Haley would come here pouring your problems to us like we were your freaking therapist or something and Peyton called that you would be first to stop by and you are." Lucas said laughing.

"Oh so P. Sawyer you told Luke here what I shared with you this morning?" I asked with a teasing smile. I didn't care anymore who knew and who didn't. It was going to get out anyway.

She looked guilty at me. "Yes B. Davis I'm sorry I just couldn't not tell him and I know it wasn't my business but I figured he would find out eventually and it wasn't my place to tell so if you hate me I understand." She said sadly. I looked at her surprised. Did she really think that after everything we had been through over the past 10 years that I could hate her?

"No Peyton its okay I think I figured you would and I have no problem with it. I'm just glad I told you and not some random person gossiping about it at the mall or something." I said as I leaned over and gave her a hug.

"Thanks Brooke are you okay? I mean how are you doing with all of this? You have had a very eventful day today." She said laughing lightly. That was an understatement if I ever heard one. I told the 2 most important people to me my dark past that I kept hidden from everyone. Eventful doesn't even begin to describe it.

"I'm doing as well as to be expected. Umm Nathan told Haley and I found her in her car parked and we talked and cried and it was emotional and well Rachel is right little tutor girl has quite the bitch slap." I finished with a laugh.

They both gasped. "Haley slapped you?" Peyton asked in disbelief.

I nodded. "She sure did but I deserved it so I'm not even mad or anything." I said shrugging.

"This whole thing is really messed up." Lucas said.

"It kind of is and I'm really surprised your even talking to me Lucas I thought you would throw me out the second I got over here for tearing up their marriage." I said honestly. He scooted over to me and engulfed me in a hug.

I returned it and put me head on his shoulder. I looked up at Peyton and she was smiling at me. I smiled back.

"I could never be mad at you pretty girl. Its not like I have the best track record with cheating and after Peyton explained to me everything that happened to you with that ass hole Rick and you and Nathan's history I can't be mad." He said sincerely as he released me from the hug.

I smiled at him in appreciation. "Thank you broody that means a lot. The truth is until this morning no one knew about Rick and the cutting or mine and Nathan's past together." I said getting teary eyed again.

"Here look at these." I said as I rolled up my sleeve to show him. His eyes widened.

"I'm so sorry Brooke." He said looking at me. I nodded smiling weakly. "Thanks but its okay that is all in the past and if everything works out with Nathan like I'm hoping than I will always be fine no matter what." I said smiling thinking about him hoping things with him and Haley went smooth.

Also not telling Lucas and Peyton about Chris was eating me up I wanted to so badly but I couldn't loose Haley's trust like that so I needed to keep my mouth shut.

"Brooke I want you to know that you didn't break them up they were long over before the night you two decided to be together again." He said leaning back.

"Oh you mean like 3 days ago at the graduation party?" I said rolling my eyes.

"Not just 3 days ago it's been long before that even way before Jamie came along and I really don't think that helped things along at all for them it just kept them together longer than they should be." He said seriously. I leaned back to and laid down next to Peyton.

"I still fee bad I know they love each other and everything but I can't loose him if I do-." I had to stop I couldn't even consider that option right now. I don't think I ever could.

"Hey Brooke are you alright?" Peyton asked with concern.

I took a deep breath and remembered everything he had told me today about loving me and not being able to handle loosing me. Nathan loved me and I needed to remember that.

"I'm fine sorry I just can't handle thinking about loosing him." I said seriously. I looked up at both of them and they were looking at me intensely.

"You won't loose him Brooke after all you 2 have been through he won't leave you so don't worry about it." She said squeezing my hand briefly.

"Thanks you guys I really appreciate all of the support but I think I better get out here I'm exhausted." I said getting up and walking towards the door.

"We love you Brooke just remember we're always here." Lucas said as he got up to hug me again. Peyton hugged me right after.

"I know I love you guys too P. Sawyer are you coming home tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah I don't want you to be alone B. Davis." She said sweetly. I smiled at her.

"Thanks Peyton but you know what I'm going home right now to crash so I wouldn't be much fun tonight so why don't you just stay here and keep broody company." I said winking at him. He smirked back.

"No Brooke its no problem I can come home." She insisted. I shook my head saying no.

"Don't worry about Peyt I'll be fine stay here and I'll talk to you the first thing in the morning okay?" I said as I opened the door.

"Are you sure Brookie?" She asked laughing using my old nickname.

I laughed too. "I'm sure P. Sawyer I'll talk to you later." I said waving as I walked out the door.

Haley walked into the house and walked into the kitchen.

"How was Jamie?" She asked Deb.

"He was fine you know he slept most of the day like usual he's upstairs." She said. Haley nodded and started walking away.

"Haley I'm sorry about everything with Nathan." She said softly. Haley turned back around.

"He told you about Brooke?" She asked.

"Yes and I'm sorry he shouldn't have cheated on you that was poor judgment on his part." She said honestly.

"We all make mistakes." She said quietly to herself not thinking Deb heard her. She smiled at her and walked upstairs.

Nathan was putting Jamie to bed and turned around and saw Haley standing there watching him.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hi." She said back.

They stood there in an awkward silence looking at each other.

"I talked to Brooke." She said suddenly. That got Nathan's attention.

"What did she say?" He asked.

"We talked about you and her and other stuff." She said looking down knowing she wasn't ready to have this conversation with him.

"Haley I'm sorry about everything I fee horrible." He said honestly walking toward her.

She bit her sadly when she couldn't take it anymore she just blurted it out. "I slept with Chris." Then she gasped and covered her mouth in surprise. Nathan just looked at her shocked not thinking he heard her right.

"You what?" He asked.

Haley started getting teary eyed again and refused to look at Nathan. But she still repeated herself. "I slept with Chris Keller." She said sobbing.

Nathan didn't know what to think or feel he was stunned. "When?" He asked not believing he was able to form any words.

"After the accident and I'm sorry but you were never home and I ran into him and we-." Nathan cut her off.

"And you just thought hey its been a while since I cheated on my husband I'll fuck Chris since I didn't get the chance last time!" He yelled at her. She started sobbing.

"Nathan let me explain." She tried but he interrupted her again.

"No you go off on me earlier for sleeping with Brooke and the truth is your sitting on this? You slept with Chris after the accident when I was convinced that I saw my dead uncle in the water and your excuse is I wasn't home as much?" He screamed at her as he backed up away from her.

"Nathan just hold on so I can explain." She insisted again but he wouldn't let her.

"Why should I you walked out on me and didn't give me the time of day to explain my situation. So really Haley why should I sit here and let you explain why you decided to cheat on me again with Chris fucking Keller!" He didn't even hear himself he couldn't believe this.

"Because he's Jamie's father!" She yelled back at him wiping her tears.

Nathan stopped when he heard that. He wasn't Jamie's father? Chris was his dad? He turned from Haley to look at Jamie still sleeping despite their yelling.

He saw his blonde hair and it made his blood boil. 'That's Chris' blonde hair.' He thought angrily.

He turned back to Haley. "I want a divorce." Was all he said as he walked past her and out the door.

Haley fell to the floor crying. In one day her whole life had changed in the worst possible way. She had lost one of her best friends and her husband because they loved each other so much. She felt so alone and she really wished Chris was here. She missed the feeling of being whole.

Nathan drove around ignoring phone calls not even checking whenever someone called he didn't care. He wasn't Jamie's father. 'How could she do this to me?' He thought angrily. He stopped the car and hit the steering wheel and hard as he could.

"Damn it!" He yelled. What was he supposed to do? He planned on watching him grow up and teaching him how to play basketball and talk to him about girls and taking him to games all the shit fathers and sons do together but not anymore. That's Chris Keller's job now.

"Fucking Chris Keller!" He said angrily. He was always trying to take everything. When he heard about him and Brooke sleeping together he almost killed him right there in the recording studio.

He leaned back in the seat and ran his hands over his face trying to calm down. "What the hell am I going to do?" He whispered sadly. He was really looking forward to being a dad even if it wasn't with the "right" woman he still loved Haley just not as much as Brooke.

He turned on the car and drove to Brooke's place. He didn't have anywhere else to go and the truth is he missed her.

He knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. She opened the door and looked exhausted. That is exactly how Nathan looked right now.

"Hey Nate I was just getting ready for bed." I said looking at him. He looked so lost and broken I wanted to take him in my arms and save him. Haley must have told him at least I hope she did.

"Chris Keller is Jamie's father I'm not." He said in a broken whisper.

"Oh baby come here." I said and pulled him into the apartment and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me closely and tight.

"I can't believe this." He said as his voice cracked. I felt hot tears on my shirt and I completely understood.

"I'm so sorry Nate I really am." I said teary up of course.

We continued to hold each other until he was ready to talk. Finally we pulled apart and he looked destroyed.

"I'm sorry for showing up like this but she just told me and I didn't know where else to go." He said quietly. I don't think I had ever seen him so vulnerable before it was breaking my heart.

"It's no problem don't be sorry do you want to come to bed?" I asked. He nodded and I took his hand and lead him to the bedroom. We got in and under the covers and laid there.

I felt his arm go around my waist and pulled me into him. I put my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. It soothed me a lot and I felt safe here in his arms.

"Is there something I can do for you?" I asked after a while of silence.

"Just stay with me." He said and he kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him and wished I could do something else to help him through this.

He should definitely know better by now that I'm never leaving him.

"I'll never leave you Nate." I said seriously. He looked at me and I could see the sadness in his eyes. I know Jamie is important to him. I could also see the betrayal and the shock. I know that I was not expecting to hear that when she told me.

"I could never live with out you." He said intensely as his eyes changed and I saw nothing but love sincerity in them.

I leaned up and kissed him hard on the lips. When I pulled away he leaned his forehead on mine like he always does and I love it.

"I love you more than anything." I said just as intensely. His piercing blue eyes stared into me and I was captured. I couldn't look away and I didn't want to. He grabbed my face and kissed me roughly on the lips.

I responded immediately. I couldn't get enough of him. I was so happy I had forever with him to prove how much he means to me. When we were together it was perfect. Nothing else but us mattered and we were always there for each other no matter what. We didn't need anything else as long as we had each other. It didn't matter that tomorrow all hell was going to break loose or that most likely the entire town would be against our relationship and us but I wasn't worried. And for the first time in a long time it felt like things were going to be okay.

**Please review!! Thank you for reading!**


	23. Watcing The OC with Brooke and Peyton

**Hey so I know it has been a while since I've updated this but in my defense I have been trying to be good and update my other story so I'm sorry I haven't balanced it out very well. I want to thank everyone for reviewing for this and I hope you all enjoy the next chapter!!**

_It didn't matter that tomorrow all hell was going to break loose or that most likely the entire town would be against our relationship and us but I wasn't worried. And for the first time in a long time it felt like things were going to be okay._

I slept really well. But then again I always do when I sleep in Nathan's arms. I woke up and he was still sleeping so I crept out of bed quietly so I didn't wake him. He really looked adorable when he slept. I couldn't help but smile at him. I knew he was going through a lot right now so I was going to be as supportive as possible for him and do whatever he needed me to do.

I went out into the kitchen and Peyton came in with Rachel.

"Oh my god Brooke how could you not tell me you were sleeping with Nathan?!" Rachel screamed as soon as she came in.

"Shh he's sleeping." I said immediately I know this is not how he wanted to be woken up.

"I'm sorry Brooke I tried to stop her but she called me demanding that I tell her everything and it wasn't my place so I told her if you wanted to you could." She said giving me an apologetic smile.

I had to grin a little because I could picture what that looked like.

"Umm maybe now isn't the best time to get into all of that." I said, but Rachel apparently wasn't backing down that easily.

"Oh no the only reason I even know is because Mouth called Lucas to hang out and Lucas said he couldn't because he was taking care of Haley who was hysterical and when Mouth asked why Lucas said its because Brooke and Nathan are in love and having an affair." She said in one breath.

I just nodded impressed. "So the word is getting out then." I said as I sat on the couch and the other two followed suit.

"Just tell me how you got to him because I tried everything I could and nothing worked so tell me your secret." Rachel said smiling like crazy. I rolled my eyes at her.

"It's a really long story Rach and I'm not sure it's the right time at all for it." I said again.

"Brooke please we'll talk quietly so your lover doesn't wake up." She said still smiling obviously enjoying all of this. I looked at Peyton who was trying not to smile.

"Well long story short Nathan and I used to be best friends but after a huge fight and sex when we were 15 we stopped. He dated Peyton then Haley and obviously married her and I feel so bad about everything. But at the graduation party he gave me this present that was absolutely amazing and somehow we ended up kissing and all of my old feelings came back and then we couldn't stop being together after that." I said quietly and slowly so she could process everything.

"Wow so you have been best friends and then after fighting and having sex you stopped. So after 3 years why all of a sudden get back together why not say something before he married Haley then a lot of this mess could have been avoided." She said trying to piece everything together and figure stuff out.

"I know the timing couldn't be worse, but I went through a really dark period in my life and that's when Nathan asked Peyton out and I was jealous because I was 15 and in love with my best friend. I didn't think he felt the same way, but after that night it was too much. After we kissed at the party later we talked and decided now that we're back to this place we couldn't not be together anymore." I explained to her she nodded in understanding.

"So you like love him don't you?" She asked.

I smiled. "More than anything." I said honestly.

"That's crazy no one saw this coming, and what was the dark period you were talking about? Were you depressed that Nathan went out with Peyton and wait did you sleep with him while they were together?" She asked getting excited again. Peyton started laughing nodding her head.

"Yeah we did. Our relationship is so complicated. But the dark period sucked for me yes I was depressed and I cut myself and I wanted to die because I felt alone without Nathan even though I had Peyton sometimes I just wasn't complete." I said smiling at Peyton and looking at Rachel.

"I'm sorry you felt that way. You stopped cutting didn't you?" She asked me concerned.

"I did but I have some scars from the deep ones. And I might as well tell you one of my parents business associates used to rape me on a regular basis and I started pushing everyone away including Nathan especially him because my feelings for him were getting so intense and real it scared me." I said looking down.

"Oh Brooke I'm so sorry I can't believe all that happened to you!" She said as she hugged me and I hugged her back.

"So you really need Nathan don't you?" She asked as we pulled apart.

"Yes I don't know what I would do without him he's my world." I said looking at both of them and they smiled sadly.

"I really hope everything works out for you both." She said sincerely.

"Thank you Rachel me too." I said giving her another hug.

"Now that I know all the latest gossip I'm exhausted and need to go home to sleep." She said smiling. We both stood up with her.

"Sorry about barging in here and Peyton for demanding the story." She said laughing.

"Don't worry about that's what friends are for." Peyton said hugging her.

"Bye guys and don't worry about Haley it will get better once this all blows over and we can all still be friends." She said waving.

"I hope so." I said sadly as Peyton shut the door.

"Don't worry it will B. Davis and since when do you base your entire world around one person I thought you were fiercely independent and didn't care what other people thought?" She asked smiling and I knew she was talking about what Lucas wrote about me in the book.

"I used to be that way until I fell so deep in love with him that now I don't think I could live without him." I said honestly as we sat back down on the couch.

"I understand and I'm glad he makes you so happy." She said poking me lightly.

"Thanks and as you know I'm glad that you and Broody found your way back together." I said smiling.

"It's going really good. But I am worried that somehow things will be awkward for a while with the current situation." She said looking at me.

"Yeah Luke is going to be torn between his best friend and his brother." I said feeling bad for the position I put him in.

"It's not your fault Brooke. You can't help how you feel." She said nudging me.

"I know but I do feel bad I just want everything to be okay and no one to get hurt." I said as I put my head on her shoulder as we watched TV.

--

Haley woke up feeling awful. She remembered not being able to sleep so she kissed Jamie and went to Lucas' house. He and Peyton were sleeping but they stayed up with her while she cried and told her side of the story about how she was feeling, but neglected to mention the fact that Nathan wasn't Jamie's father.

"Hey buddy I made your favorite." Lucas said as he walked into his room holding a tray of food and orange juice for Haley. She smiled gratefully.

"Thank you Lucas for everything." She said as she sat up and he sat next to her.

"No problem." He said.

"I really am sorry for how all of this has turned out its so crazy." He said watching her pick at her food.

"It is but I talked to Brooke I know its not some fling they really do love each other." She said shrugging and taking a bite.

"That's true. If it gets to weird at that house you know you can always stay here." He offered smiling.

"That's sweet and I just might take you up on that since it will get uncomfortable and I can bring Jamie with me." She said smiling very sadly.

"Is it okay if Nate comes over to see him sometimes though because I know he'll miss him when you leave." He said.

Haley decided it was time to tell Lucas everything. "Umm Lucas I have something I need to tell you." She said suddenly.

"What is it?" He asked concerned.

"Nathan isn't Jamie's father Chris is." She said tearing up.

Lucas's eyes got so wide. "What?" He asked stunned.

"I know it's horrible but I ran into Chris outside this bar and I was so hurt because Nathan wouldn't talk to me because he was so shaken up because of the accident and I don't know I think I might love him but its so complicated." She said breaking down. Lucas wasn't sure what to do.

"Oh Haley I don't know what to say." He said as he moved the tray and hugged her while she cried. He wasn't happy she cheated but she was going through a lot and she was his best friend.

"I'm so sorry I love Nathan I do but he and I don't belong together. We were so young and Chris made me feel so complete and I don't know I was too scared to tell anyone but then Nathan tells me about him and Brooke and I flipped out on him and took off, but Brooke found me and we talked. I already told you that but when I got home Nathan and I started fighting and I yelled it at him and he said he wants a divorce and I don't blame him." She said sobbing.

"Hales I'm sorry. This whole thing is screwed up." He said holding her.

"I know I'm not sure what to do." She said calming down.

"You need to tell Chris." He said looking at her.

"I told Brooke and she said the same thing." Haley said.

"She's right." He said knowingly.

--

When Nathan woke up he felt sad. He actually felt sad and lonely. He was lonely because Brooke wasn't in bed with him anymore. He got up and walked out of the bedroom. Brooke and Peyton were watching The O.C. intently. They didn't notice him walk into the kitchen either to get a bowl of cereal. He looked over and saw two guys fighting pretty badly. He sat next to Brooke on the couch and she still didn't acknowledge him and neither did Peyton.

He looked up and saw one guy strangling the other and a girl walk in and start screaming for him to stop. He didn't understand why girls loved these shows so much our lives were dramatic enough without watching other people go through stuff on TV. He rolled his eyes until he saw the girl pick up a gun and shoot the guy on top in the back. Even Nathan's mouth dropped when he saw that.

The fight with the guys was bad but damn that was intense when he turned around to look at her and then fall down. It even surprised Nathan when the guy getting strangled got up and for a second leaned on the guy who he was fighting with before walking over to the girl. They probably had some sort of relationship before the fight Nathan figured while he continued eating.

"Oh." Peyton said.

"My." Brooke said.

"God." They said in unison. Nathan laughed and looked at them. When they turned to look at him they looked surprised to see him sitting there eating.

"When did you get here?" I asked Nathan. I didn't even notice him sit down next to me.

"I've been sitting here for like 5 minutes eating while you guys were glued to the TV." He said getting up to put his bowl in the sink.

"You just witnessed one of the most intense season finale's ever on TV so excuse us for not noticing you right away." Peyton said to him smiling.

"It's okay I figured it was something like that seeing as some girl shot a guy and the music that played." He said sitting back down.

"Umm yeah the guy who Marissa shot tried to rape her a few episode's ago, but she's in love with Ryan the guy who almost got strangled who happens to be Trey's brother so it gets complicated." I explained to him.

"Who's Trey and why did he try to rape Marissa?" He asked.

"Well Trey is the one who got shot. Ryan his brother the one he was fighting with just found out that he tried to rape Marissa his girlfriend so he went over there and they started fighting and at first Ryan was beating Trey's ass but then Trey tackled Ryan into the glass table and then he started strangling Ryan. We don't know why Trey did it he was hanging out with Marissa and was on coke and attacked her, but she got away. It was so sad I feel like crying." I said.

Peyton actually wiped a few tears away. "I don't know how you can watch this after everything you went through." She said. Nathan looked like he agreed.

"It's The O.C. its fake and I have been watching it since season one and just because it brings up some bad memories doesn't mean I'm going to stop watching it." I said looking at both of them.

"I don't know why anyone would watch it." Nathan said. Me and Peyton gasped.

"Because it's amazing and the guys are really hot." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I nodded in agreement.

"You girls are crazy." He said smiling slightly which made me smile.

"So how did you sleep?" I asked him while leaning on him as he put his arm around me.

"Pretty good considering what I learned yesterday." He said right before kissing my forehead.

Peyton looked confused. "What did you learn yesterday?" She asked. I looked up at Nathan wondering if he was ready to tell her.

"I'm not Jamie's father Chris Keller is." He said blunlty.

Peyton's jaw dropped. "Are you serious?" She asked shocked.

"Nope. Apparently she ran into him at a bar right after the accident with Rachel and Cooper and because I wasn't home a lot because I was convinced I saw my dead uncle she was lonely and decided to sleep with him and got pregnent." He explained. I knew there was a little bit more to it than that, but I wasn't going to defend Haley.

"Nathan I'm sorry that's horrible." She said sadly.

"It's okay its one more thing to prove that Haley and I don't belong together and one more lie to ad to our group of friends." He said honestly. I giggled a little bit because I thought the same thing yesterday.

"What's so funny?" They both asked. I leaned up.

"Yesterday on my way to Lucas' I was thinking that we're all going to hell because we all cheat and lie. Even if it was for good reason we will all end up there someday and I thought it was funny because we're going to be there together." I said smiling and they both started laughing in agreement.

"Nicely put B. Davis." Peyton said.

"Thanks P. Sawyer." I said smiling.

"Hey I really don't care if I end up in hell just as long as you're there with me." Nathan whispered in my ear. I immediately smiled and kissed him.

"Eww get a room." She said smiling repeating what I said the day before.

"Later we will later." He said grinning. We heard a knock at the door and I jumped up to see who it was and my jaw dropped when I opened it.

"Chase." I said surprised.

"Just coming to see if the rumors were true." He said a little pissed off.

**I know it's not very long but it was a little bit of a filler chapter. I hope you liked it anyway. Please review I love reading those reviews!! Haha thanks for reading!!**

**xoxo Marissa**


	24. Chase Finally Finds Out

**Hey I have the biggest thank you in the world to BrathanBrucasBaleyBreyton, Nads, Princetongirl, justawritier, Venera22, and Tamarindo!! Thank you all so much for sticking with the story I really appreciate it!! :)**

_We heard a knock at the door and I jumped up to see who it was and my jaw dropped when I opened it._

_"Chase." I said surprised._

_"Just coming to see if the rumors were true." He said a little pissed off._

I stared wide-eyed at him. How could I forget about my _boyfriend_ Chase? Oh man this wasn't going to be good and the truth is I deserved whatever he said to me.

"Umm rumors?" I managed to get out while looking at him. He definitely didn't look happy.

He scoffed not appreciating me beating around the bush.

"Yeah funny story I was on my way over here because I missed my _girlfriend _and when I passed by the café its all everyone could talk about. It was impossible to miss." He said raising his voice a little bit.

"Chase please let me explain." I said. I really did feel bad about this. He looked inside and saw Nathan and Peyton standing up by the couch.

"Don't bother I can see that he's already making himself at home. Which is a little strange considering he already has a home with his wife and baby!" He yelled at me.

"I know but if you let me explain what's going on Chase please." I begged as he turned around to walk away.

"It's not necessary Brooke I already know what you're going to say. And to think you promised you wouldn't break my heart the way my ex girlfriend did and the way your boyfriend and best friend did to you." He said icily bringing up Lucas and Peyton. That comment hurt but I shouldn't have cheated on him.

"Chase I'm sorry but if you wait I will explain how it happened." I said trying to make him understand.

"No I'm not going to stand here and listen to you talk about the fact that you ripped a family apart because you think you love him. But you don't you keep saying you love people but you don't mean it. You only say it so you won't be so alone. One day though Brooke you're going to wake up and realize your nothing more than a lonely slut!"

My mouth dropped again in surprise and I'm sure you could see in my eyes how much that hurt.

Nathan pushed past me and got in Chase's face.

"Don't you dare talk about her like that!" He yelled as he pushed Chase.

"How cute Brooke's latest one night stand coming to her defense. That might keep you around another night but don't count on her being faithful or truthful to you!" Chase yelled at him.

Nathan punched Chase in the face and that snapped me out of my trance.

"Oh my god Nathan." I said and ran over to them with Peyton behind me.

Chase stood up and hit Nathan. Then Nathan tackled him to the ground and started punching him.

"Both of you stop it!" I yelled hoping neither of them would get hurt.

They weren't listening. Nathan and Chase kept punching each other.

"Guys this isn't any way to handle this." Peyton said.

"Peyton help me break this up before they end up in the hospital." I said in a panic. I was worried that Nathan would kill Chase because lets face it Nathan really knew how to defend himself.

Nathan hit Chase again and he went down. I took the opportunity to grab Nathan's arms and Peyton bent down next to Chase.

"Nate please stop." I said quietly in his ear. He was breathing really hard now that he was all worked up.

"Chase are you okay?" Peyton asked him.

He shook her off and stood up glaring at all 3 of us.

"Screw all of you! You can go to hell for all I care." He yelled and stormed off. On cue we all three started cracking up because of the conversation we had right before Chase showed up.

"Nice timing for such a comment." Peyton said still laughing. I nodded and turned Nathan around to face me. Our laughter subsided but he wasn't talking. I glanced at Peyton worriedly I told her about Nathan's reaction to me telling him about my past and I was afraid he was going to shut me out.

"I'll leave you both alone." She said and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Are you okay?" I asked gently. We had been through so much I just wanted to be happy with him without worrying.

He nodded but still didn't say anything and it upset me a little bit.

"Baby talk to me." I said and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I'm fine." He said quietly after a minute of silence.

"I don't think you are. What's wrong he didn't hurt you did he?" I asked worriedly and looked at him all over. He shook his head and backed up so my arms dropped from his neck. He tried to walk past me inside but I grabbed his arm and turned him around. I closed the space between us and kissed him hoping to get some sort of reaction out of him.

At first he stayed still, but after a second he responded passionately. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I put both hands on his face. The kiss was amazing but something was still wrong with him I could feel it. I pulled away and he looked at me confused.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"That's what I want to know." I said hurt he won't talk to me.

"B I'm fine I just don't like him talking to you like that." He said looking down. I grabbed his hand and took him to the bench by us and sat us both down.

"Is that all?" I asked knowing there still wasn't something he was telling me.

He shrugged.

"Come on Nate after everything I thought we were going to talk about everything that bothers us." I said turning my body to face him. He looked up at me and his eyes looked sad.

"We are I'm sorry." He said and turned to face me. I grabbed his other hand.

"What's going on?" I asked again.

"I don't know the way he yelled at you when you tried to explain yourself. I guess I can understand wanting to know the truth actually me of all people can really understand that. But what he said was mean. You're not a slut and I don't want you to listen to him and think you are. You are never going to wake up and be alone I'm always going to be there." He said sincerely but his eyes still told another story. They were getting more intense. The blue was darkening.

I smiled at his nice words. It made my heart flutter.

"I know you're always going to be there. Thank you for sticking up for me with him. What he said hurt and for a second I realized that to everyone I'm going to be the home wrecking whore who split you and Haley up." I said getting a little sad.

"It might be what it looks like but B you're not a whore. That's what pissed me off when he said that I knew you would think about it. You already know Haley and I were over and everyone important knows the truth and knows that what we have is real." He said looking into my eyes.

I nodded at him.

"It is real." I whispered smiling slightly. He smiled back and made my heart melt.

"What else is bothering you?" I asked knowing he probably wouldn't be comfortable saying it.

"Nothing I told you it was what Chase said." He said.

"I can tell you're lying. You're eyes give you away Nate talk to me." I said and squeezed his hands.

He stared at me for another minute then looked away sighing lightly. I could tell something was really bothering him.

"I don't know." He stopped and paused. I waited patiently for him to continue. He turned back to look at me with pain in his eyes. My heart immediately ached for him.

"I think I felt responsible to defend you to him not just because we're together but also for those years we were apart and I didn't. Also when he said that I couldn't stop imagining Rick saying the same thing to you and I wasn't there." He said with every word breaking a little. I tried not to cry hearing this but my emotions got the best of me and I teared up.

"Nathan it wasn't your fault. I pushed you away because I was scared of how much I loved you then. Maybe Rick used to say the same thing but I think when he did I always tried to picture a life with you so I knew I wouldn't be alone." I said with tears pouring down my face. He wiped them away like he always did then he pulled me in so he could hug me.

"No matter what you will never be alone I promise." He whispered in my ear and sent shivers down my spine. I could feel his heart beating hard and fast in his chest. I hugged him back tightly.

"Please don't ever leave me." I whispered vulnerably. I knew deep down he wouldn't but Rick had taken my innocence and hope for someone to love me and now that I know someone does I can't but feel insecure.

"I won't." He whispered determined. I had to smile.

"I really love you Nathan I don't know what I would do without you." I said as we pulled away but remained very close. It was a magnet that had always been there pulling us together now we finally stopped ignoring it.

"You know how I feel about you B. I've never loved anyone as much and I never will." He said smiling.

"Good you better not." I said jokingly and kissed him passionately which he gladly returned. We pulled apart smiling widely at each other.

"We should probably get back inside before Peyton comes out here and takes pictures or something." He said standing up and grabbing my hand.

"Nah I'm more for videotaping." Peyton said from behind them.

"Were you spying on us P. Sawyer?" I asked laughing.

"No I was coming to see that you two hadn't left without telling me and making me all worried." She said smiling.

"No mom we wouldn't leave without telling you." Nathan said and nudged Peyton she hit him back.

"Hey easy Sawyer I was only in a brawl like 10 minutes ago." He said pretending to be hurt.

"Toughen up Scott Brooke here needs a real man." She said and looped our arms together. We went back inside and hung out together and I was finally relaxed and happy with Nathan.

**Hey sorry it wasn't very long at all. I hope you enjoyed it though please review!! **

**Marissa**


	25. Chris Is Back

**Hey I'm going to start with a huge apology! I'm so sorry its been so freaking long!! Please forgive me. I really owe a huge thanks to all of you amazing people for reviewing the last chapter! I hope you like this new one a lot! :)**

"_You know how I feel about you B. I've never loved anyone as much and I never will." He said smiling._

"_Good you better not." I said jokingly and kissed him passionately which he gladly returned. We pulled apart smiling widely at each other._

"_We should probably get back inside before Peyton comes out here and takes pictures or something." He said standing up and grabbing my hand._

"_Nah I'm more for videotaping." Peyton said from behind us._

"_Were you spying on us P. Sawyer?" I asked laughing._

"_No I was coming to see that you two hadn't left without telling me and making me all worried." She said smiling._

"_No mom we wouldn't leave without telling you." Nathan said and nudged Peyton she hit him back._

"_Hey easy Sawyer I was only in a brawl like 10 minutes ago." He said pretending to be hurt._

"_Toughen up Scott Brooke here needs a real man." She said and looped our arms together. We went back inside and hung out together and I was finally relaxed and happy with Nathan._

Haley reached for her cell phone. She scrolled through the contacts list until she found the name she was looking for. She paused debating whether or not she should call him. He would be really mad she kept this from him for so long. How could she not tell the father of her child that he's the father?!

Haley took a deep breath slowly getting enough courage to press send. Her thumb slowly reached the button and pressed down. She put the phone to her ear and waited for Chris to answer. She still had his number from the tour and honestly she couldn't bring herself to delete it. It would feel too real and she wanted to remember all the good times they had. That made her feel even more guilty.

"Hello." His angelic voice answered. Haley's eyes snapped open and her breath had a fast intake. She could feel her heart beating hard out of nervousness and excitement. It had been so long since she felt that way. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Hello." He said again trying to listen to who it was. He didn't look at the caller I.D. So he still didn't know it was Haley. Tears found their way down Haley's face and she tried to cover her sob, but she couldn't it escaped her throat too soon.

As soon as Chris heard her sob he knew exactly who it was. His pulse started racing faster than a normal speed and his hands started shaking slightly. His heart immediately went out to her because she was obviously in pain since she was crying. That night in the tour bus came crashing back to him and he almost passed out from the intensity of his memories.

"Haley." He whispered. She didn't respond but he could hear her heavy breathing while she was trying to calm down.

"I'm sorry." She said suddenly and hung up. Haley shut off her phone knowing he would try to call back. She thought she was ready and strong enough to tell him the truth, but she wasn't.

"Haley!" Chris yelled into the phone already knowing she hung up on him. Why was she sorry? Why did she call crying? He had thought about her everyday since he had to leave Tree Hill after their night together. Quickly he packed a bag and checked out of his hotel. He knew where he was going. And even though she might not want to admit it Haley was going to have finally be honest with him.

Peyton, Nathan, and Brooke were sitting on the couch like they were before Chase showed up talking about everything when they heard a knock. Peyton jumped up this time to answer it and it was Lucas.

"Hey babe." She greeted and kissed him softly on the lips.

"Hey." He said hesitantly because he wasn't sure what the current situation was with everyone. Peyton looked at me and Nathan and I immediately knew what she was thinking.

"Lucas Nathan beat Chase up." I said waiting for a reaction. Lucas eyes widened in surprise. He had completely forgotten about Chase in this whole mess.

"Umm why?" He asked when he sat next to Peyton on the couch. He figured Chase would beat Nathan up for sleeping with Brooke, but then again Nathan is bigger so if Chase hit Nathan he wouldn't win that fight for long.

"Chase called Brooke a slut." Nathan said taking a sip of his drink. He didn't want to get back into the whole situation again it would make him mad.

"He called you a slut?!" Lucas yelled in fury. I nodded looking at him then Peyton and back to Nathan.

"Why the hell would he do that?" He yelled. Lucas was just as protective of Brooke as he is of Haley.

"Lucas think about that." I started and looked at him.

"I slept with Haley's husband. That's pretty much the definition of slut" I said bluntly. I knew this would all look bad to anyone who didn't know. It was a huge mess that could have all been avoided if I hadn't gone up to Nathan at the graduation party in the first place.

"Brooke, you're not a slut." Lucas said immediately. I smiled at him. He was so sweet.

"Thanks." I said quietly. I felt Nathan's arms wrap around me and I felt a lot better.

"Nate if Peyton hasn't told you Haley brought some of her stuff to my house and I told her she could stay." Lucas said hoping Nathan wouldn't be mad. He shouldn't they both did a lot wrong.

Nathan looked at him and nodded.

"That's cool she'll need a good place to go and probably take Jamie with her." He said sadly. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. This Chris-Haley-Jamie situation was still killing him I could tell.

"Yeah I told her that if she stayed then you could come over anytime to see him." Lucas said.

"Did she mention the fact that I'm not even his father?" Nathan asked looking at Lucas.

"She told me this morning." Lucas said quietly feeling so bad for Nathan.

"I'm not going to lie you guys we are tremendously screwed up." Peyton said after a minute of silence. I laughed and I felt Nathan shake a little with laughter. We all knew it was true.

"What are we supposed to do?" Lucas asked looking at us with his hands entwined with Peyton's.

"Everyone knows by now I think." I said.

"My mom was talking to Haley when I left." Lucas said.

"Haley and I are getting divorced." Nathan said suddenly. I turned to face him. I guess when he told me that he wasn't Jamie's dad I expected that and with all thats happened with us, but hearing him say it felt weird. Lucas and Peyton felt the same way I could tell.

"I'm sorry." Peyton said looking at him.

"It's okay. It was a long time coming. I don't want to blame it on the tour or anything, but after that I don't think I ever fully trusted her 100 . I forgave her and all but it wasn't the same." He said and paused.

"Plus there's the fact we both lied and cheated and know that we aren't supposed to be together. I'm not even in college yet and I'm going to be divorced." He said in a strange voice like it was just hitting him. I could tell he was finished. I was worried about him. He was so upset and trying not to show it and on top of that he knocked Chase out and defended me. Everything was so beyond complicated.

"Thanks for understanding Karen." Haley said after she finished explaining everything to her while Karen fed Lilly.

"Haley you're like a daughter to me so no matter what I'll always be here for you, but what you and Nathan did was wrong." She said in a very motherly voice.

"I know our marriage is very screwed up." She said in an honest voice.

"You both lied and not to mention what its going to do to Nathan and Chris when you finally get the nerve to tell him instead of hanging up." Karen said looking at Haley.

"Its so hard. Life was so much easier when it was just me and Lucas." She said sadly remembering the good days with her best friend.

"I know Haley but you both grew up and made choices. I don't think you could ever regret being with Nathan you helped make him into the sweet and smart man he is now, but sometimes that isn't enough. You have to realize when your not supposed to be with someone and learn to eventually let it go." Karen said getting teary eyed thinking about Keith then looking at Lilly knowing that she'll always have a piece of him with her.

"Did you ever let Keith go?" Haley asked tearing up thinking about him and he was like her father. Keith and Karen raised her and Lucas.

Karen nodded her head saying no.

"I don't think I can." She said as her tears fell while she kissed Lilly on the forehead as she started sleeping.

"That's the difference between you and Keith and me and Nathan. You and Keith were soul mates me and Nathan aren't." She finished now fully realizing everything from Nathan and Brooke's perspectives. She understood it now. When you find the love of your life you need to hold on as long and hard as possible. She thought of Chris and then Keith again. Unfortunately Keith and Karen never really got their chance.

She looked up and Karen was crying watching Lilly sleep. Haley stood up and hugged the only real mother figure she knew.

"I'm so sorry you lost him." Haley sobbed.

"I miss him so much." Karen replied crying into Haley's hair. She had never fully grieved like this after it happened. She was just miserable.

"You know how much he loved you." Haley said knowing he did more than anything besides Lucas. Karen nodded.

"I'm sorry about Nathan." She said trying to stop crying.

"It's okay he and I will figure out this whole mess and he'll still be apart of Jamie's life." Haley said as they pulled away.

"He loves him." Karen said. Haley nodded knowingly.

"Your still so young Haley. It still surprises me that kids your ages are already experiencing half the things you do. From what you've told me Nathan and Brooke's feelings are very intense and real and the way Lucas looks at Peyton I know he won't ever love anyone else as much." She said wiping Haley's last tears.

"I know we're all experiencing these things so young and being forced to mature maybe before we're all ready but we try to deal and make good decisions. Nathan and I for example haven't really been doing much of that, me especially." She said knowing she was right.

"Haley you, Lucas, Peyton, Brooke, Nathan, and everybody else in the world have all made mistakes. You're human its bound to happen, but you need to tell Chris the truth and who knows maybe you two might get your happy ending." Karen said hoping to make Haley feel better.

"Karen Chris is-" Haley was interrupted.

"You know I love you Haley, but you need to stop and think about Jamie and his father for a second. Don't try to lie and say that you aren't in love with Chris because the way you've talked about him I can see it. I know its really early to say that since all of this just happened, but I know love when I see it and those performances with you two definitely showed your chemistry. Jamie is going to want to grow up and know the difference between his mommy's ex husband and his father. So go home and get more stuff bring my little grandson here and call Chris again." She said. Haley didn't respond for a second.

"Okay I'll be right back." Haley said and gave Karen one more hug smiling at her words especially when she called Jamie her grandson.

"Talk to Chris he won't hate you." Karen said knowingly.

"I hope not." Haley said doubting herself.

"I think he loves you honey he'll forgive you." She said smiling at her.

Haley left and went back to get some more stuff and her son. On her drive she thought seriously about what Karen said. She knew if she could have one wish she would want Keith to meet his daughter. Haley didn't want to deny that to Chris any longer it wasn't fair. Also Karen just happened to be be more aware of Haley's feelings than Haley. The more she thought about it she knew Karen was right. She was in love with Chris and it wasn't right, but she was.

When Haley pulled up she was more than a little bit surprised to see the exact person that she had been thinking about and the same person whom Karen had told her she was in love with. Chris Keller stood at the door about to knock when he heard her close her door to the car. He turned around and gave her the same smile that made her heart skip.

"Haley, I've missed you." He said and Haley almost passed out right there.

"Chris." She whispered. Haley knew that her phone call had made him come all the way here. She also knew it was now or never she had to tell him the truth.

"There's something I really need to talk to you about." She said only hoping he wouldn't take off and abandon her and their son.

**I wish I had more time to write but unfortunately I don't I'm sorry. Please review they mean so much!! The next chapter Chris finds out. Nathan and Chris have a talk (or fight) more people talk about the brathan affair and someone from Brooke's past comes back. **

**Xoxo Marissa**


	26. My Worst Nightmare

**Hey so like always I need to start by saying how sorry I am for taking so long! But you should know that every time I get a chance to write I'll be updating this! Huge thanks so rosseyanna, xXxprettygirlXxXboyfriendXx, Tamarindo, Rachtree, Justawriter, Toddntan, CloisDestiny, Lukenpeyton4ever, Tanya2byour21, and Trublonde18!! You guys are the best thanks so much!!**

_When Haley pulled up she was more than a little bit surprised to see the exact person that she had been thinking about and the same person whom Karen had told her she was in love with. Chris Keller stood at the door about to knock when he heard her close her door to the car. He turned around and gave her the same smile that made her heart skip._

"_Haley, I've missed you." He said and Haley almost passed out right there._

"_Chris." She whispered. Haley knew that her phone call had made him come all the way here. She also knew it was now or never she had to tell him the truth._

"_There's something I really need to talk to you about." She said only hoping he wouldn't take off and abandon her and their son._

"Okay what do you want to talk about?" He asked. He could tell she was nervous. She always held her hands like she was now when she was nervous. Haley always did that before going on stage. Chris had always thought it was cute.

Haley looked down and tried not to lose her nerve.

"Um you're probably going to hate me, because I lied and the way we left things that night." She whispered the last part. She wasn't even looking at him.

"Haley what's going on? I'm worried about you." He said honestly walking towards her. Her eyes welled up again with tears as she looked up at him.

"I have a son." She said waiting for his reaction. He looked surprised for a second then completely calm.

"I already knew you were going to have a baby. Do you not remember your car breaking down and us all ending up in Honey grove Texas to get your friend Face?" He asked feeling sad because he had to watch her with Nathan. Haley laughed at the mistaken nickname for Mouth. No matter what he always made her laugh. She also remembered it being too difficult to try to keep her composure around him. As soon as he saw her bump she saw how much it hurt him. Little did he know.

"His name is Mouth." She said looking at him smiling weakly. He laughed.

"Right Mouth." He nodded. "Haley you know I couldn't hate you just because you have a son. As soon as I saw you guys I figured you hadn't just gained a bunch of weight." He tried to joke. Something told him that Haley wasn't all right and that feeling didn't sit well with him at all.

"He's about a month old and he's beautiful." She said keeping eye contact with him.

"Good Hales congratulations." Chris said trying his hardest to show her he was happy for her.

"He has big blue eyes and a full head of blonde hair." She choked out finally losing it. Chris' first instinct was to go to her and hold her in his arms, but he stopped. She's married with a new baby boy. His feelings for her needed to end.

"Haley what's wrong? That's great he sounds amazing." He said walking slowly until he was right in front of her. He didn't understand why she was crying. She looked up at hoping he would just know so she didn't have to say it. She wanted him to read her mind and immediately figure it out. Chris looked down at her and saw her sadness and her regret. What could she be regretting? She was dying to tell him something he could tell. He noticed her voice crack as she said full head of blonde hair. Haley has blonde hair. Why would that be bad? Nathan has blue eyes it sounds like a perfect combination between them.

"My natural hair color is brown." She said almost reading his mind like she knew he was trying to figure this out. So their kid got a random recessive gene by getting blonde hair instead of brown why was she so upset telling him this? Then like clockwork Haley pulled out her wallet and showed Chris a picture of James Lucas Scott.

"Haley he's beautiful you should be so happy." He said barely glancing at the picture. This was getting to be too hard for him to be here with her while she was upset.

"Chris look at him closely." She said fighting back another sob. He took a closer look to really analyze the picture. He was an adorable little boy. He did have a full head of blonde hair. It was the exact same shade of blonde as Chris's but he ignored that. His eyes were lighter than Nathan's but that always happened with kids didn't it? Haley's eyes were brown. Chris's eyes were a lighter blue.

He tore his eyes from the picture to look at Haley. Her expression was begging him to tell her he knew why she called. She was trying to stop crying and failing at that. Then something clicked. Chris's eyes widened as he looked at the picture again then back to Haley and he understood. She wasn't just upset about telling him she had a son. She was upset because she was telling him she had his son.

Lucas and Peyton had decided to head to the river court to calm the fort down there and explain to everyone what has really been going on with Nathan and Brooke. Leaving out all of Brooke's personal secrets. Neither of them liked that rumors were going to be started about Brooke and Nathan so they needed to set the record straight. Nathan had objected at first saying that it wasn't their problem to correct people or defend them against rumors. Instantly Lucas told him that they were brothers and he had his back. As usual Brooke and Peyton shared a long hug goodbye like they would never see each other again. They had grown a lot closer since the prom and after all Peyton's learned about Brooke she was going to be there for her throughout this whole mess.

"Do you want to go home and get some clothes or something?" I asked him after we'd been sitting on the couch for a while after the other two left.

"I probably should shouldn't I?" Nathan said. I knew he didn't want to face anyone or anything. I wish we could stay here forever not dealing with the outside world. Unfortunately that wouldn't happen.

"I'm so sorry about everything." I said sincerely. So much has happened and on top of all of my secrets I told him about, Haley has been keeping a huge secret from him too. I'm surprised he even trusts me anymore for lying to him for years.

"It's not your fault." He said looking at me. I still felt horrible.

"I'm sorry I lied to you for all those years." I whispered. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it softly and did the same with my scarred wrist.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." He whispered back. I didn't think we should get into all of that again. The emotions I felt while telling him were more intense than anything I've ever felt.

"It wasn't your fault." I said repeating what he said to me. He leaned down to capture my lips and I smiled into the kiss. Nobody kissed like Nathan Scott. I definitely looked forward to being able to do this for the rest of my life. That thought made my heart skip a beat.

Unfortunately our moment got interrupted when the phone started ringing. "Don't answer it." He said and kissed me again. I didn't want to, but the phone kept ringing. Although Nathan kissing down my neck was a nice distraction I was getting really annoyed and was forced to push him back.

"Let me get rid of the person and I'll come right back and make it worth your while." I said giving him a seductive grin. His smile grew as I got up to answer the phone.

"Hello." I said feeling happy. Being around Nathan just made me feel good all the time.

"Brooklyn long time no talk." The voice of Victoria Davis said sarcastically. My good mood was immediately gone hearing my mother's voice.

"What do you want?" I asked annoyed. I didn't even think she had the apartment phone number.

"Oh is that anyway to talk to your mother?" She asked icily. I rolled my eyes and saw Nathan's worried expression. I mouth mom to him and he understood. He knew me too well.

"Yeah in my opinion it is what can I do for you?" I asked wanting to get off the phone with her.

"Your father and left an important box when we moved to California and one of your father's business associates is coming to get it. You still have it don't you?" She asked.

"Yes I still have it. If it's so important then why did you leave it behind?" I asked getting angry with her. She always made me feel awful about myself.

"Don't get mouthy with me Brooke we left Tree Hill in a hurry and it was in the attic, but he should be there soon to pick it up from your apartment so make sure you're there when he gets there." She demanded.

"I'll be here all night when's he getting here and who is it?" I asked still annoyed. I ran a hand over my face. I hated dealing with my parent's crap. Not like they cared about me anyway.

"Good he should be there within minutes. I had just gotten off the phone with him when I called you. He said he hadn't seen you in so long he was excited. He remembered you from all those Christmas parties we had for your dad's company." She said absentmindedly. My thoughts couldn't help but go to Rick. I couldn't ever enjoy another Christmas after that. It went from being my favorite holiday to most hated. I was immediately in fear that by some horrible chance he still worked with my dad that he was the one coming.

'He got transferred to Florida my parents are in California. It can't be him Brooke relax.' I told myself.

"Brooke are you still there?" Victoria yelled. It snapped me out of my trance. I looked up and Nathan was now standing in front of me. He must have felt my fear.

"I'm still here." I said to her covering up my momentary freak out.

"Okay well I should get going I have a dinner party to go to with your father." She said smugly. She enjoyed being a trophy wife.

"Bye." I said and hung up.

"Baby-." I cut him off before he could ask.

"I'm fine." I said looking at him.

"B don't lie to me." He said stepping even closer and resting his hands on my waist. I took a deep breath.

"I'm not lying Nate I'm really okay." I said convincingly. I was fine I shouldn't have even let my mind go there when it's impossibility.

He stared at me wondering if I really was fine. He could read me pretty well by now.

"My mom said that one of my dad's business associates was coming by to grab a box full of files for my parents then taking it back to California." I said hoping he would drop it and not be so worried.

"Do you have the box?" He asked ignoring the bad feeling he had.

"Yeah my parents left it at our old house when they moved and I always kept it thinking it was probably important." I said grateful he wasn't pressing the issue.

"Who's coming to get it?" He asked. He didn't want to leave her alone with some person she didn't know coming here.

"Oh my mom didn't say who it was but he should be here soon." I said thinking it was weird even after I asked she didn't give me a name.

"I'm not going back to my house to get my stuff until after this guy leaves." He said determined. I smiled at his protectiveness.

"Baby I'm fine if you want to hurry up and go now you'll probably make it back before whoever it is even gets here then you can stay after he leaves." I said looking forward to our alone time once he got back.

"I don't think I should leave you here. It's no problem I can wait a few minutes." He said shrugging.

"But the sooner you leave the sooner you come back and we can get back to what we started." I said throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him.

"Are you sure?" He asked against my lips. I smiled and nodded as my amazing mood was coming back once again because of him.

"And I promise to keep my promise." I whispered before crashing our lips together in a heated kiss. He picked me up and set me on the counter kissing me harder. My hands went for the bottom of his shirt and I slipped it off him as he trailed kisses down my neck I bit back a moan as our lips met again. His hands grabbed the bottom of my shirt when I pulled away suddenly and jumped off the counter before he could say anything at all. I opened the door for him with a huge teasing smile.

"That was a little preview for when you get your hot ass back here Scott." I said happily smiling the whole time knowing I had him.

He didn't look pleased for a second because he didn't like to be teased. But he smirked and nodded before picking up his shirt and putting it back on and walking over to the door with his keys in his hand. He leaned in and sucked the spot right behind her ear and felt her shudder. Nathan saw her hand rise to pull him down by his neck to bring him closer to her when he pulled away smiling in triumph.

"Two can play that game baby girl." He said and leaned in to give me a quick peck and walked away smiling at me.

"That wasn't very nice Nate." I said still in awe of how good that really felt. I couldn't wait for him to get back.

"Don't dish it if you can't take it B." He said smirking before turning around to go to his car feeling overjoyed about him and Brooke. This was the way they had always been with each other and he really missed it. I grinned and closed the door after he got into his car and drove off. I went into the utility closet to get that box of files they needed.

I hoped Nathan wouldn't be too long. Out of boredom I turned on the TV and watched the newest episode of the Hills while I waited. After 10 minutes there was a knock on the door and I jumped up with the box and walked over to it. As soon as I opened it my entire world came crashing down on me. Rick was standing on the other side with that exact same smile he always wore. My heart stopped entirely I couldn't breathe.

"Brookie Davis I sure missed you." He said pervertedly checking me out up and down. As soon as I heard him talk I was able to function again and I grabbed the door and tried to close it, but he stuck his hand out and came inside closing it behind him. I was absolutely fear struck I didn't know what to do.

"Nice place you've got here now point in the direction of the bedroom we've got unfinished business." He said taking off his jacket. I felt like I was in some sick dream and no matter what I did I couldn't wake up. But thankfully my brain started working again. I dropped the box and opened up the door to run outside. He was fast and he pulled me back before I could get out. I opened my mouth to scream and he covered it like he did the first time when I was 9.

"Now Brookie you don't want to spoil the fun do you?" He asked pulling me back. I started crying instantly and I tried to get away but he was way stronger. I continued to struggle as he dragged me into my and Peyton's bedroom and threw me on the bed.

"I'm not going to let you do this to me anymore!" I yelled and raised my hand to punch him, but he grabbed me and ripped open my shirt and forced me down.

"Shut up! I've been waiting 4 god damn years for this you slut!" He yelled and hit me in the face. He undid his pants as I tried to kick him away, but nothing I did was working. I was scared out of my mind and I was so mad at myself for making Nathan leave. I needed him here I needed him to protect me.

"Stop it! Please don't do this to me again." I begged through all my tears. He started taking my shorts off and I tried my best to close my legs so he couldn't. He forced them off of me as I continued to fight him and cry begging and pleading for him to stop.

"If you don't stop complaining I will kill you!" He yelled as he put his hands around my throat and entered me way to hard. I tried to scream out in pain but I was losing all my air. Rick was thrusting harder and my tears kept pouring out. I had stopped breathing entirely while he was still raping me. The last thing I remember saying was "Help me Nate, please come back and save me." In the weakest voice possible. The last image I saw was Nathan kissing me goodbye before going home to get his stuff.

**Ahhh so I'm stopping it there and don't worry I really hope to get another chance to update this again. Please review it means a lot. Thank you so much for reading!!**

**Xoxo Marissa Davis**


	27. Nathan's Rescue

**Hey I'm back already!! lol thank you so much to everyone that reviewed for the last chapter when I only posted it last night!! I hope you really enjoy this next chapter!**

"_Stop it! Please don't do this to me again." I begged through all my tears. He started taking my shorts off and I tried my best to close my legs so he couldn't. He forced them off of me as I continued to fight him and cry begging and pleading for him to stop._

"_If you don't stop complaining I will kill you!" He yelled as he put his hands around my throat and entered me way to hard. I tried to scream out in pain but I was losing all my air. Rick was thrusting harder and my tears kept pouring out. I had stopped breathing entirely while he was still raping me. The last thing I remember saying was "Help me Nate, please come back and save me." In the weakest voice possible. The last image I saw was Nathan kissing me goodbye before going home to get his stuff._

Nathan was on his way back to Brooke's house. He went home and his mom was there with Jamie. And honestly Nathan couldn't even look at him knowing he wasn't his father. He saw the look of sympathy in his mom's eyes he couldn't deal with that. Haley wasn't there and at the moment Nathan didn't care at all. He just wanted to grab some clothes to take back to Brooke's and be there when her dad's friend got there. He had a bad sinking feeling that he needed to be there with Brooke.

He pulled up in the same spot he had before and made his way to the apartment. He approached it and noticed the door was open. He immediately panicked and ran inside dropping his bag when he entered the door.

"Brooke!" He yelled and checked the kitchen, then the bathroom and lastly he went into the bedroom. As soon as he walked in he felt like dying. There was his Brooke being forced down on the bed with some guy that he knew was Rick on top of her. Nathan felt all of his anger rise in him watching this guy hurt his best friend, hurt the love of his life. She wasn't even conscious right now and he was raping her! Finally Nathan felt like he couldn't take it anymore and he ran up to him and pulled him harshly back by his shirt.

Obviously Rick hadn't heard Nathan come in and flew back gasping in surprise when he was pulled away from Brooke.

"You fucking pedophile!" Nathan screamed as he threw Rick on the wall. Nathan punched him harder than he'd ever hit anything in his life. He'd never been angrier before. Rick tried to push Nathan away, but Nathan was stronger he punched Rick in the stomach twice and when he doubled over in pain Nathan kicked him in the face. Rick fell to the floor and Nathan picked him up by his hair and kicked him in the face again.

"I swore to Brooke that I'd protect her and wouldn't let you hurt her again!" Nathan yelled as he punched Rick in the face again.

"You don't deserve to live you sick fuck!" Nathan screamed as he picked Rick up again and threw him at the wall making sure he hit it hard. Nathan walked over and kicked him in the stomach repeatedly. Then he grabbed Rick's face and threw his head back against the wall. Nathan did that so many times Rick's head started bleeding and it was staining the wall.

"God damn it why'd you have to come back here to hurt her!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs as he dragged Rick's almost unconscious body to a standing position and punching him one more time in the face as hard as he'd ever hit anyone. He watched the body fall to the ground and stay there unmoving. Nathan felt so miserable. Brooke never did anything to hurt anybody. She was such a good person she never deserved any of this.

Nathan stood over Rick watching his still body. He just wanted to punish him for hurting Brooke all of those years. So much hate and anger was radiating off of Nathan's body his fists clenched so hard in case Rick actually woke up and tried anything. That wouldn't happen. Nathan had beat him so badly there was a good change he'd killed him right here. His head was still bleeding and Nathan didn't give a damn if he killed him or not.

He felt hot tears make their way down his face. He knew he shouldn't have left Brooke alone. He could've stopped this from happening again. Nathan was so angry with himself. He took a deep breath watching this horrible monster below him bleed to death knowing that he deserved it. Nathan wiped his tears and turned around to see Brooke laying on the bed completely broken. His heart broke as he walked over to her. More of his tears fell freely from his cheeks onto Brooke's cheeks.

Nathan hovered over her to check to see if she was breathing. He could faintly see her chest rise and fall and he felt relief wash over him. He saw the marks on her neck from Rick strangling her. He clenched his jaw and turned around and saw him still on the floor. His pants were still undone and Nathan felt his anger rise again. He saw the bruises on her face and he gently placed his fingers over them as a sob escaped him.

"Brooke can you hear me?" He said quietly trying to withhold from crying, but he couldn't. She stayed quiet and didn't move. Her chest was still rising and falling at an even pace so he knew she was still breathing. His shaking hands reached for her panties and shorts and brought them back up to where they belong. He took off the rest of her shirt and went to her drawer to get another t-shirt. Nathan still couldn't believe this happened.

He walked back over and put it over her head gently. He got into bed and cradled her in his arms. Nathan tried stroking her face softly hoping she'd open her eyes, but she didn't. All of Nathan's emotions came out as he rocked her back and forth in his arms. He couldn't control his sobs as they continued to escape from his lips.

"Brooke please wake up." He begged quietly as his tears covered her face. He gently wiped them off her cheeks.

"I'm sorry B I'm so sorry." Nathan sobbed out as he put his forehead against hers and continued to rock her back and forth.

After a couple of minutes of Nathan's silent sobs holding Brooke he felt her move her arms around his neck. His head snatched up and watched her open her eyes slowly. Hers were filled with tears instantly seeing his broken expression.

"Nate." I struggled to say.

"Shh it's okay." He whispered.

"R-rick was here." I sobbed out to him holding tightly onto his neck. He brought his head back down and rested his forehead on mine again. I felt him nod.

"I think I killed him B." He said miserably as more tears fell from both our eyes mixing together.

"Wh-what? Nate what are t-talking about?" I asked and I could feel his shallow breaths on my face.

"I came in and he was..." He couldn't finish that sentence.

"I couldn't take him hurting you and I snapped." He whispered looking into my eyes with a blurred vision.

"You stopped him." I cried out biting my swollen lips. He nodded again and I could feel his pain like I knew he could feel mine.

"Thank you." I cried gratefully lifting my lips to his for only a second. I needed to feel as much of him as I could. I was so scared.

"What do we do?" He asked in anguish holding onto me.

"I don't know." I whispered. What were we supposed to do know?

"He's on the floor." Nathan said closing his eyes trying to stop his tears. I nodded this time. I didn't want to see Rick again. But seeing him beaten to a bloody pulp might make me feel better. Finally he knows how it feels.

"We should take him somewhere." I said thinking about what we could do. Nathan looked at me and lifted us to a full sitting position.

"Do you think we should bury him or something?" He asked obviously afraid to know the answer.

"We should go to the hospital." I said. I was hurting a lot and we couldn't just bury Rick my parents knew he was here.

"Oh my god of course!" He said jumping up and checking me out.

"I'm so sorry B are you okay?" Nathan asked frantically looking all over at me.

"I've felt better." I said weakly thinking about earlier I felt great.

"I'm taking you to the hospital right now." He said swooping me up in his arms and carrying me.

"If you want to close your eyes I'd understand." He said before we approached Rick on the floor. I closed them for a moment before opening them again and seeing the stain on the wall and him laying on the floor completely unconscious bleeding.

"Nathan." I whispered in shock. He really did kill him.

"I couldn't stop." He said in a tight voice as he stopped walking.

"We have to take him to the hospital in case he isn't dead." I said looking at him.

"I wanted to kill him for hurting you." He whispered sadly. More tears started welling up in our eyes again.

"I know thank you baby." I said leaning to kiss him softly.

"We can't leave him here so we take him with us and the doctors can announce him dead or whatever they do." I said not knowing what the hell I was talking about. He nodded.

"I guess I can put him in the backseat." He said and we stepped over him and Nathan put me down softly in the front seat. He went back inside and came back out closing the door carrying Rick and getting blood all over his clothes. I felt terrible for Nathan having to see what he did. I couldn't feel much of anything right now. Rick had done what he always did. He made me feel nothing and worthless at the same time. My eyes clouded over as Nathan put him in the backseat.

On the road we were both thinking about the same thing. The police were going to get involved and it would get messy. I felt him grab my hand and it made me jump.

"I'm sorry." He said immediately. I had to bite my lip out of fear again.

"It's okay." I whispered and held his hand. I looked at it and saw how cut up it was from punching Rick in the face. I had never seen anyone so beat up before. I was oddly relieved though. We pulled up to the hospital and I was terrified. Rick didn't wear a condom what if I got pregnant? My head was spinning with thoughts and I almost passed out in the front seat.

"Baby? Baby!" Nathan said bringing me back. I opened my eyes and saw his worried expression. I wasn't wearing any expression I knew.

"I'm sorry." I said weakly. I felt exhausted.

"It's not your fault." He jumped in instantly.

"B please don't think that any of this is your fault." He pleaded. I nodded. If it wasn't my fault then who's was it? Nathan got out of the car and called some paramedics over and opened the back door. They came over and started bombarding him with questions about what happened and our names. I got out and walked slowly over to them. Nathan turned to look at me.

"He raped me." I said in a dull voice.

"Did you do this?" One paramedic pointed to Nathan then looked at Rick.

"I walked in on it." He said in the exact voice I had just answered in. As always our emotions were tied together.

"Self defense." I said tiredly. The two paramedics nodded and grabbed Rick and put him on a gurney asking us to follow them so I could get help.

As we walked Nathan put his arm around my waist gently and lead me into the hospital. There were cops and doctors who came rushing over asking the same questions. We said the same things and the cops wrote it down. A nurse asked me to follow her into an examination room. She had to do a rape test. I looked at Nathan with more fear in my eyes begging for him not to leave me.

"Never again." He said clutching my hand tightly. I knew he could read me.

He was aloud to come into the room with me.

"Usually victims of rape prefer to do this with a female nurse and alone." She said noticing my death grip on Nathan's hand.

"I'm not leaving." He said firmly. She nodded in understanding.

"Okay Miss Davis can you please put this gown on and we'll get started." She said I nodded numbly. I had to let go of Nathan's hand to undress. The nurse turned around to give me privacy but I wanted Nathan to keep his eyes on me at all times. I heard him gasp when he saw the bruises on my stomach.

"Does it hurt?" He asked in a pain filled voice. I nodded saying yes and slipped the gown on and sat on the chair.

"Okay great thank you." The nurse said nicely. She was trying to make me feel better I'm sure. She went through the whole examination asking me questions about what happened. I had to explain why he was at my apartment and she looked surprised when I mentioned that he was my dad's business associate. She asked if it was the first time. I looked up and me and Nathan locked eyes. I saw all the hurt in his and I know it matched mine.

"No it started when I was 9." I said and looked away not wanting to see her expression. Nathan saw the nurses expression and felt for her. She had to deal with this a lot.

"He's been doing this for 9 years?" She asked disbelieving.

"It stopped when I was 13 because he got transferred for business. I didn't know he was still in business with my father. Tonight was the first time since then that I've seen him." I said looking at Nathan. I was officially broken now. He knew that. He broke the minute I did.

"I'm so sorry Miss Davis. I have to go give all this information to the police officers downstairs can you stay here for a minute?" She asked.

"Sure." I said quietly. As soon as she closed the door Nathan came over and hugged me.

"He can't hurt you anymore." He said into my hair.

"I know you saved me." I said gripping him again.

"I didn't." He said with more pain than I've ever heard. I pulled away enough so I could see his face, but my arms were still around him.

"Yes you did. He was going to kill me when he was done." I said as my tears poured out. He put his hands on my face and wiped them away.

"I was too late." He whispered in anguish.

"Nate don't blame yourself." I said and placed my palm on his cheek and he leaned into it. His own tears started making their way down his cheeks again. I could feel them on my hand.

"You stopped him he can't do this to me again. You saved my life." I whispered and brought our foreheads together again.

"I shouldn't have left you alone. I could've prevented this B if it's not my fault then who's is it?!" He said angrily backing away. He ran his fingers through his hair and over his face in frustration.

"It's not yours okay just know that Nate!" I said persistently ignoring the remaining tears on my face. He punched the wall and let out a cry of anger and leaned his head against it.

"I'm supposed to protect you B and now you're here in the hospital." He said looking at me miserably. I felt so bad for him. I knew he'd blame himself. I was remembering the other day when I told him about all of this for the first time. That felt like forever ago.

"Baby don't do this." I begged. "Please don't shut me out and feel guilty you didn't do anything wrong." I said holding my hand out for him to take.

"I should've been there." He said sliding down the wall and sitting there on the floor. My heart ached to be with him and I cried out as I got out of the chair. I went and sat on his lap like I had the day I told him. It was the only way I could bring him back to me.

"Come back to me Nathan." I said holding him. I was in a lot of pain right now and I needed him.

"I love you Brooke." He said almost in audible when he looked at me as he slid his arms around my waist holding me to him. I let another tear slip.

"I love you Nathan and I need you to know this isn't your fault don't shut me out I need you here." I said planting both hands on his face. I was getting through to him. He put his hands on top of mine and tried to smile.

"I'm not going anywhere." He said grabbing my hands and kissing both of them at the same time. He was back. I smiled in relief.

"Things will be a lot different after tonight." I said realizing how bad all of this was.

"I might go to jail." He said just realizing it to.

"You were defending me though they can't take you!" I said immediately panic stricken.

"There's no proof of that." He said in a distant voice.

"This could all get turned around and they could think I did this to you." He said looking at me with a scared expression. Mine matched his again. They had to believe what I told them. I wouldn't let them take my Nathan away from me.

"She took a DNA test from inside me in a few hours there'll be proof that it was him." I said determined.

"We've slept together the past couple of days Brooke a lot. There's still some of me inside you I bet." He said as he went completely pale.

"It's going to be fine Nathan they can't prove that you did it I already told her about all the other years of him doing it." I said feeling his misery. We were silent for another minute.

"I'm sorry." We both said at the same time. We grinned at each other.

"It's not your fault." We both said. I laughed a little.

"How can you laugh when so much just happened to you?" He asked looking hurt.

"I've become good at repressing bad memories, only this time I'll try my hardest not to hurt myself to help me do it." I said sadly looking at my wrists. This whole situation was so fucked up.

"You have me." He said lifting my chin up so I was looking at him. That made me feel a little bit better. I didn't know what to feel I think I'm still in shock.

"They won't take you from me. I won't let them." I told him. He nodded. I understood why he's so worried about all the police and legal situation with this.

"Do you want to sit back up in the bed?" He asked.

"Only if you lay in it with me." I said vulnerably. He picked me up and I wrapped my sore legs around his waist and he set me on the hospital bed. He stood right in front of me. We were both miserable, vulnerable, and broken. He put both his hands on either side of me on the bed.

"You never deserved this Brooke." He said honestly. He wanted her to know that he was here and she was so much better than that asshole made her feel. I nodded lightly at him. I didn't want to slip away from him. I put both hands on his face again and brought his lips to mine. I craved it and honestly I needed it to survive. He kissed me harder, but he was trying not to hurt me I could tell. He rested one hand on my hip and the other was still on top of the bed. I put one of my hands on his neck to bring him even closer to me. He continued to deepen the kiss as I ran my other hand through his hair.

After a few minutes we needed air and I pulled back.

"You really do save me Nathan. Everyday just being with me saves me." I whispered against his lips. He needed to understand.

"You're the one who saved me Brooke. A long time ago being my best friend, your the only reason I ever existed." He mumbled meaningfully against my lips. My last sob escaped me as I smiled at his words. I kissed him quickly again.

"Lets get into bed." I said and made room for him.

"Do you think we'll get in trouble for this?" He asked climbing in.

"I don't care I think we've been through enough tonight." I said and put my back to his chest and he wrapped his arms around me protectively. I didn't know what was going to happen and I was scared to death about everything. I was incredibly sore and my mind was still pretty numb the shock hadn't fully wore off. I just hoped whenever it did Nathan was still here for me like he promised. Somewhere deep inside I knew he would be.

**Not much of a cliffhanger. I hope everyone liked it!! I love Brathan fluff and Brathan angst so I put a little of both in there. Please review it means a lot!! I'll try to update again soon!**

**xoxo Marissa Davis**


	28. Getting Answers

**So I'll start with apologizing. I didn't want to wait so long, but I started another story called Finding My Way Back Home if anyone's interested lol and I've been concentrating on that for a while, but I'm back and I want to thank everyone who reviewed sincerely it means a lot. My new goal is to get 230 reviews by the time I have written 30 chapters. I have 220 now but I think it could happen ahah anyway thank you so much! Enjoy.**

"_I don't care I think we've been through enough tonight." I said and put my back to his chest and he wrapped his arms around me protectively. I didn't know what was going to happen and I was scared to death about everything. I was incredibly sore and my mind was still pretty numb the shock hadn't fully wore off. I just hoped whenever it did Nathan was still here for me like he promised. Somewhere deep inside I knew he would be._

After a few minutes the nurse came back in and smiled when she saw me and Nathan on the bed.

"Technically we're not supposed to let you guys do that, but after all you've been through and based on how adorbale you look I'm not going to say anything." She said sweetly and I managed a small smile of appreciation.

"Thank you." I said in a hoarse voice. I guess when you scream and cry for a while you start to lose your voice.

"I talked to the same policemen you two talked to right when you came in. I told them everything you told me and when we get the DNA sample back it'll prove that he did it even though we already know he did and he'll be put in jail immediately after he wakes up." She said looking down writing something on my chart. I felt Nathan tense.

"He's not dead?" He asked.

"No Mr. Scott you did severly hurt him, but you showed up in time he has 6 broken ribs, a fractured skull, a broken nose and jaw and broken cheek bones." She finished and my eyes widened. Nathan literally broke his face.

"Wow Nate you might as well have killed him." I whispered.

"I made sure they put him in a room away from where you'll be Miss Davis you shouldn't have to be anywhere near him." She said looking at me sympathatically.

"Thank you again." I said softly. Nathan was still tense behind me and I was worried he was going to try to shut down like before.

"Umm is there anyway this could get put on me?" He asked quietly. I could tell he was afraid to know the answer I was to.

"As soon as the sample comes back that'll be all the proof we need that it was Rick. Are you worried you'll be on the DNA sample?" She asked.

"She and I have slept together and I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea I just walked into her room and saw it." He finished trailing off darkly. This was killing him.

"Mr. Scott I wouldn't worry about it we have both of your stories and since it happened so recently all of the evidence should be right there. I think you'll be fine." She said smiling in reassurance at us. She sensed we were scared. I was more than scared.

"What about assault?" I heard him ask softly. I don't know what I'd do if he had to leave me to go to jail for punishing someone who's been slowly killing me since I was 9.

"I don't know much about the leagal system you should talk to one of the officers, but you stopped it you defended her I think you could be protected under that. You shouldn't take my word for that though I'd definitely talk to one of the cops. I could send one in if you'd like." She offered.

"Yeah I'd like to talk to one thanks." He said in a voice that sounded so far away. He didn't sound like my Nathan. This was killing me why'd Rick have to come back and ruin everything?

"Is that okay?" He asked when she walked out.

"That's fine it'll make me feel better if I know you won't get into trouble." I said honestly.

"Me too. Is there something I can do for you B?" He asked concerned. At this point not much at all could help me.

"I'm fine." I lied. At the moment I was as fine as I could be as long as he was here.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything." He said as he kissed me on the forehead. My lips curled up feeling him.

"It's okay I thought it was over when he got transferred but now I know it really is over and I just feel empty and broken." I whispered staring off into space. I felt Nathan tighten his arms around me.

"Brooke.-" He started, but the door opened and a cop walked in.

"Hi did you have some questions?" He asked Nathan.

"I was wondering about what's going to happen once he wakes up with the leagal aspect of this." Nathan said.

"Well once the sample comes back and it has his seamen on it he'll be put into police custody when he's capable after recovery then we'll process the case and put him in prison for a very long time. This isn't the first time he's done it so that makes him a multiple sex offender and rapist. We want him to go away and not get out." The officer said and I felt a little bit better knowing Rick would be far away and I'd never have to see him again.

"Good. What about me do I get into trouble for hurting him as badly as I did?" He asked cautiously.

"You walked in and reacted like anyone would. You stopped it from going any further and we call that defense of others since you defended your girlfriend. Although once you got him off of her you should've stopped, but you didn't and that's what we call excessive force." The cop explained.

"What does that mean?" I asked needing to know if he was going to get into any trouble.

"If Rick presses assault charges then yes you could go to jail, but I don't think he'll be waking up any time soon and his face will be wrapped in a bandage for awhile. I personally would have wanted to punish him for doing what he did to, and the excessive force may become an issue and it may not. I wouldn't worry too much about it if this did ever go to court any jury would sympathize knowing how much you care about her and if you pleaded your case under the defense of others I could almost guarantee they wouldn't vote guilty." He said and I worried. Rick would press charges on Nathan, but any jury should be on Nathan's side I really hoped it never had to go to court. I just want this to all be over.

"Thank you officer." Nathan said politely. It seemed we had the cops on our side and now I just wanted that sample to come back so we knew Rick would be put away.

"Do you have any other questions?" He asked us I shook my head saying no.

"No that was it." Nathan said.

"Okay I hope everything turns out alright for you miss I'm awfully sorry this happened to you." He said with sincerity.

"Thanks." I mumbled as he walked out and the nurse walked back in.

"We have your room all set up for you." She said and brought in a wheelchair for me. Nathan and I got off the bed and he helped me into the chair and walked beside me while the nurse pushed me into a private room.

"This looks familiar." Nathan tried to joke as he helped me up. Yeah this hospital had had all of us now as patients it seemed.

"Miss Davis your emergency contact sheet listed your parents, but when we called they didn't answer is there someone else we can call?" She asked.

"Call me Brooke." I said first smiling a little at her. The formal stuff was weird.

"Will you call Peyton Sawyer?" I asked I really needed her here with me.

"Sure is she an adult because we need someone who's capable of signing the release papers when you get discharged." She explained.

"No she's my best friend, but you could call Karen Roe she's Lucas's mom and I used to live with her." I said forgetting this woman didn't know who Lucas was.

"Okay I'll make sure to contact both of them for you I'll be right back." She said keeping a smile on her face and walking out. I stood up on shaky legs and almost fell Nathan caught me.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. I nodded.

"Yeah my legs are shaking." I said taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry you need to lay down." He said and lead me to the bed and laid me down.

"Aren't you going to lay with me?" I asked when he pulled up a chair. He flashed a small smile

"Of course." He said and got in bed with me cradling me to his chest gently. My legs were still shaking.

"Brooke you're still shaking." Nathan said rubbing his hands up and down my arms.

"I think the shock is wearing off." I whispered feeling completely damaged. He tilted my chin to look up at him. He stared into my eyes piercing through me, reading me, fixing me.

"It's going to be okay." He said determined. I knew he wasn't even sure he could promise me that, but when he said it I believed him.

"I know." I said quietly looking at him. He stroked my cheek gently and my heart raced a little bit faster.

"We're in this together B." Nathan promised. I felt myself smile a little. He cupped my cheek and placed his lips on mine very softly. I felt safe again.

Suddenly the door burst open

"Oh my god Brooke!" Peyton cried when she came in with a very destraut looking Lucas.

"Peyton!" I sobbed when she rushed to the bed and threw her arms around me.

"I'm not hurting you am I?" She asked concerned and started to pull away and I held onto her tighter keeping her here.

"No." I cried into her hair holding onto her for dear life.

"I'm so sorry Brooke I can't believe this happened again." Peyton sobbed clutching onto me. We sat here like this for minutes just holding each other and crying.

"It was so scary Peyt." I said into her mess of curly hair.

"I'm sorry." She cried again as we tried to catch our breath. We pulled away wiping our tears not noticng the boys were doing the same as they watched us break down.

"Brooke I don't." Lucas started but didn't know what to say.

"Come here Luke." I said and he came over to me and wrapped his arms gently around me.

"Is he here?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah they put him in a room away from here and they said they were going to take him into custody after the DNA sample came back and they had proof." I said as Lucas released me.

"Good that pedophile deserves to burn in hell." Lucas said angrily.

"I'm pretty sure he will." Nathan said. I leaned back into him and he wrapped a protective arm around me.

"How did this happen again the doctors and cops said he came to the apartment." Peyton said.

"He did my parents sent him there." I said completely emotionless. I have never hated someone more than I hate Rick, but my parents were a close second.

"Why did they do that?" Lucas asked.

"When my parents moved they forgot some business stuff and I took it with me when I moved into Lucas's house then to the apartment and they called saying they sent an associate to come and get because they needed it and of all people they sent Rick and he didn't waste any time at all to pick up where he left off." I said as another single tear fell down my cheek.

"I don't know what to say Brooke. What can I do?" Peyton asked.

"I'm good right now P. Sawyer thanks." I whispered and squeezed her hand that was shaking slightly.

"Brooke we're not going to leave you until you can leave and come back home." Lucas said sitting in the chair that Nathan had pulled up earlier.

"Thanks Broody." I said gratefully.

"No problem." He said softly.

"Did they call your mom?" I asked.

"They did she's on her way she had to drop Lilly off with Deb and Jamie." Lucas said quietly knowing the tension was only going to build once she got there. Peyton still holding onto Brooke's hand settled herself on Lucas's lap and he put his arms around her waist being as there was only one chair in the room.

"Where's Haley if she's not with Jamie or your mom?" Nathan wondered out loud.

"I don't know, but my mom was really worried when the hospital called her Peyton had just gotten off the phone with the nurse when my mom called me." He said.

"There needs to be an adult who can sign off on all the papers." I said.

"She'll be here any minute." Lucas said.

I took another deep breath trying to relax. I was so exhausted and Nathan could tell.

"Do you want to go to sleep?" He asked.

"I don't know if I can." I said honestly. I was afraid of what I'd dream about if I did fall asleep.

"I'll be here the whole time I promise not to let anything happen to you." He said seriously and I knew never again was Nathan going to let anything hurt me. My heart started to swell thinking about that.

"We can wait for Karen outside." Peyton offered after a minute. She didn't want to leave Brooke's side but if she needed to sleep then she should have quiet.

"I don't want you to leave Peyton." I said holding onto her hand.

"I'm not going anywhere then." She said trying to smile and not break down and cry again.

The 4 of us stayed in that room for the next few minutes talking or staying in a comfortable silence. We had been through so much together it was ridiculous, but having the most important people in the world to me there made the ache in my heart heal a little bit and at the time I couldn't have asked for anything else.

**Sorry it's not as long I wanted to get some good frienship scenes with Brucas and Breyton in there as well as the amazing Brathan. Please review I love them!! **

**xoxo Marissa**


	29. The Aftermath

**Hey wow it's been awhile I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update this. I need to thank all of the amazing reviewers. You guys are the best!!**

_The 4 of us stayed in that room for the next few minutes talking or staying in a comfortable silence. We had been through so much together it was ridiculous, but having the most important people in the world to me there made the ache in my heart heal a little bit and at the time I couldn't have asked for anything else._

The room had fallen quiet again. We were all uncomfortable to a certain degree, me especially. The door opened and we all looked to see my nurse walk in with Karen.

"Oh god Brooke." She said walking over to give me a hug. It was gentle and comforting.

"Hey Karen." I said softly.

"I can't believe this I'm so sorry honey." Karen said sincerely.

"It was awful, but I can't say it's the first time." I said trying to hold back the tears.

"The nurse filled me in a little bit on the history you have with this man. I had no idea he had been doing that to you for so long." She said with worry in her eyes.

"No one knew I couldn't tell anyone. I was lucky Nathan was there this time." I said giving his hand a squeeze. He squeezed it back.

"I am just speechless I can guarantee he will go to prison for a very long time. He won't get away with this any longer." She said determined. I had to smile a little at her protectiveness.

"I hope so." I said quietly.

"Brooke you're obviously going to stay the night depending on how you feel in the morning and after your results come in we'll see when we can send you home." The nurse said.

"Okay sounds good." I said nodding. I was trying to not sound so miserable. It was my habit convincing everyone I was fine. I didn't want to stay here, but I didn't want to go home either.

"Well unfortunately visiting hours are over since it's almost midnight." She informed us. I couldn't help but freeze momentarily at the thought of Nathan having to leave.

"I'll be back right in the morning Brooke." Karen said.

"Okay." I whispered. I felt Nathan tighten his hold around me. I knew he had no intentions of leaving. I didn't want him to.

"Thanks Karen." I said as she turned to walk out.

"Sure Brooke." She said with a smile. I was surprised she could smile like that, but she was so sweet for trying to be the one person who wasn't crying or blind with rage about the situation.

"Can't we stay?" Peyton asked. She was holding my other hand and I could tell she had no intentions of letting it go either.

"I'm sorry I wish you could, but its hospital policy." She said with an apologetic smile. A moment later she walked out to give us a minute to say goodbye.

"Fine." Peyton said dejectedly. She leaned in and I leaned up and hugged her goodbye.

"It's going to be okay B. Davis I promise to be here in the morning when you wake up." She said and I nodded knowing she would be here.

"Bye P. Sawyer." I said softly hugging her tightly then pulling away. She looked like she really didn't want to leave.

"Sorry I can't stay." Peyton said getting teary-eyed.

"It's okay Peyton I'll see you in a few hours." I said wishing those hours passed already.

"Definitely we'll be here." She said backing up allowing Lucas to come over.

"Bye Pretty Girl." He said giving me a hug. I held onto him for a minute before letting go.

"Bye Broody I'll see you in the morning." I said.

"Yeah like she said we'll be here." He said repeating what Peyton said. They walked out and I could hear Peyton trying to argue her way so she could stay. I broke out into a small smile. I heard the nurse say she was sorry again then Lucas and Peyton left. She came back in the room.

"Nathan I'm sorry.-"Nathan didn't let her finish.

"I'm not leaving." He said instantly.

"I know you want to stay, but it's against the rules." She explained.

"I don't care I'm not leaving." He said in a final voice. He was so sweet.

"I don't know what to say to you." She said after a minute. She could easily tell how serious he was.

"I can have you thrown out." The nurse said in an unconvincing voice. She wouldn't do that.

"You are going to have to physically throw me out of here by someone who's a lot bigger than I am because I'm not going anywhere." He said keeping his arms around me. I bit back a smile at how cute he was being. I looked at the nurse with pleading eyes. She didn't understand how much I needed him here.

"Please let him stay." I said in a hoarse voice. She looked at me and I saw in her eyes that she was going to let him stay. She nodded with a small smile.

"Alright you can stay." She said I gave her my own small smile in appreciation.

"Thank you." I said gratefully.

"You're welcome. I just have to make sure no one else comes in here. Not everyone here is as understanding as me." She said laughing slightly I felt Nathan chuckle a little.

"I appreciate it." He said. She nodded at both of us turning off the light as she closed the door. We laid there silent and still. My head was on his chest.

"Do you think you can sleep?" He asked.

"I doubt it. I'm exhausted but if I close my eyes honestly I'm terrified of what I might see." I said listening to his heartbeat. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me on the forehead.

"You're safe." He said seriously. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I know." I said knowing how true that was. I remembered when we were 12 and this boy named Bobby was picking on me.

"_Just leave me alone." I said annoyed at Bobby. He always bothered me and I hated it._

"_Come on Brooke don't you want your bracelet back?" He asked dangling my favorite bracelet in front of me. It was the one Nathan had given me for my last birthday. _

"_Give it back!" I demanded. I hadn't noticed he had taken it from me._

"_Nope." He said taking off running._

"_Bobby give me my bracelet!" I yelled chasing him. We ran right by the basketball courts where Nathan was playing at recess with his guy friends. _

"_You're too slow Brooke." He said mocking me running ahead and I stopped and started crying. Nathan saw me and ran over to me immediately._

"_B what's wrong?" He asked worriedly._

"_My bracelet." I said crying. "He s-stole it." _

"_Who?" Nathan demanded._

"_Bobby." I said wiping my eyes and pointed across the school yard to him with his friends looking at my bracelet and laughing because he stole it._

"_I'll be right back." He said and ran over there before I could say anything. I watched him go up to Bobby and start yelling at him. Then I saw Bobby grab both of the ends of the bracelet and start trying to stretch so it would break. Nathan actually punched him in the face. Bobby fell down and started balling. Nate picked up the bracelet and ran back over to me ignoring the yells coming from Bobby's friends. _

"_Here you go." He said putting the bracelet back on me like he had when he gave it to me._

"_Thanks Nate!" I said enthusiastic and jumped into his arms for a hug._

"_No problem B." Nathan said smiling._

"_You're going to get in trouble." I said looking at Bobby laying there with teachers hovered over him._

"_I don't care I wasn't going to let that punk steal something from you then break it." He said heatedly. I thought he looked really hot right there. He was so sweet the way he stuck up for me. _

"_Aw thank you." I said softly wrapping my arms around him again. We stayed in the hug for a few minutes. I always felt so good in his arms. He made me feel safe._

"_You know I'll always be there for you. I won't let anything happen to you." He said seriously as we pulled away. I leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. I blushed a little and noticed he was to. _

"I didn't keep my promise." He said intensely interrupting my thoughts. I looked up at him and through the moonlight I could see his tortured expression. He was having the same exact flashback I was.

"How did you know I was thinking about that?" I asked hoping his expression would change I hated when he was in pain.

"I know you." He said simply tortured expression frozen on his face.

"That was the first time I ever punched someone. It was the first time I ever got sent to the principal's office, it was the first time you ever kissed me, and it was the first time that I made that promise to you. And it was also the first promise I ever broke to you." He finished emotionless.

"No you've already done this tonight Nate you can't keep shutting down and blaming yourself for this. It wasn't your fault none of it was." I said sitting up. I couldn't have him doing this again I don't even think he understands how much I need him here, but I need him here okay and somewhat emotionally stable.

"I'm sorry." He said looking at me. His damn expression still didn't change. He was never going to forgive himself for this.

"Nathan how many times do I have to say it?" I asked looking him right in the eyes. "Do not blame yourself. I hid it from you because he threatened to kill me if I told. I pushed you so far away that I never thought you would come back to me and now that I have you again I'm not letting go. You have to learn to live with the fact this happened and not waste your time being miserable." I finished staring him down making sure he got the message.

"I can't help it B. If only I paid more attention to you instead of basketball…" He trailed off.

"You can always play the what if scenario, but it won't change anything." I explained. He was still staring at me and I couldn't help but notice how my pulse sped up.

"I just can't forgive myself Brooke. I don't think I ever will knowing how much pain you went through, and knowing how much pain you're in right now. That is literally killing me." Nathan said in agony. My eyes started watering.

"Okay." I said softly.

"No it's not okay!" He said suddenly raising his voice a little bit. I ignored it as he continued.

"None of this should've ever happened to you. I know for years you felt like you were alone because I was a shitty friend, but that's not the case anymore. I thought after you told me we would have a clean slate after all the stuff with Haley got settled, but now I'm always going to carry this guilt around with me knowing I should have been there for you and I wasn't. I broke the promise again after making you trust me again after making you love me again." Nathan said helplessly.

"Come here." I said leaning up and wrapping my arms around him to give him a hug. He wrapped his arms tightly around me. The truth is I was scared. I probably always would be, because of all that's happened but right now in this hug I couldn't have felt more safe and complete.

"I understand why you feel that way." I said into his ear. "You can blame yourself over and over feeling guilty and responsible, but no matter what I will never blame you and I will always love you." I finished feeling connected to him on an even deeper level.

"God Brooke I love you so much." He whispered as I held back a sob.

"I trust you no matter what happens in the future. We will get through this and someday we will get our happy ending." I said as my first tear fell knowing that day was very far away.

"We will. That is one promise I won't break ever." He said kissing my cheek. If I had been hooked up to a heart monitor it would be going crazy. This close proximity with him always made me like this.

"Are you planning on breaking any other promises?" I tried to joke.

"No." He said seriously as we pulled away. He wiped my tear and held my cheek in his palm.

"You are so much stronger than me." Nathan said running his thumb lightly across my cheek.

"I'm not." I said quietly.

"You are. After all of this you still have all this hope for the future and you've done nothing but take care of me since we got here because I can't stop freaking out." He said starting to get a little mad at himself.

"That's what we do Nate we always have." I said. "When one of us needs the comfort no matter how bad it is for us we don't stop until the other one is fine. We can't function and move on unless the other one is okay." I said shrugging.

"That's true." He said agreeing.

"You said we were in this together so no more shutting me out feeling responsible because truly Nate it's not your fault." I said making him understand. He looked at me for awhile before nodding. He still didn't fully believe me, but he was better.

"I'm sorry I won't do it anymore. At least I'll try I can't make any promises about that." Nathan said trying to smile. I returned it.

"Good so tomorrow we'll get the test results back and they can have the evidence they need to lock him up and I'm praying we can put this behind us." I said feeling overly exhausted thinking about it anymore.

"I want to." He said.

"Same we'll be okay." I said not sure who here I was trying to convince.

"Do you want to just lay here all night?" He asked. I nodded resituating myself to where I was before our talk. I put the blankets over us as we got comfortable. I leaned up to give him a quick kiss, but being Nathan he pulled me back for me. I didn't mind though. Just as mind-blowing as ever I had to reach up to pull him closer and deepen the kiss. He cradled me against him as the kiss intensified. My hand reached down to undo his pants when he put his hand on mine to stop me.

"What?" I asked breathless.

"I don't think we should do that here. And you're still hurt Brooke I couldn't take that chance and make it worse. I'm surprised you even want to do that." He said honestly. When it came to Nathan I could never think straight. The only thing I was ever aware of was how in love with him I was. If anyone else had been in this bed with me they wouldn't have stopped me they would let me do whatever I wanted.

"I don't know I just can't help myself when I'm with you." I said truthfully looking down embarrassed. He put his finger under my chin and made me look at him. He was wearing his cocky ass trademark smirk.

"So you just can't get enough of me can you?" Nathan asked smirk planted on his face. I rolled my eyes.

"I guess not Scott so when we get out of here I think you owe me." I said with a flirtatious wink. I was glad right now with how bad everything was we were getting back to what we used to be. Very affectionate and extremely flirty with each other. It made me fall in love with him all over again.

"Hmm I guess I could work something out." He said seductively before capturing my lips again.

"You better stop that or I won't even let you stop me when things start to escalate." I mumbled against his lips. He laughed and pulled back right before planting one more kiss to my lips and one to my forehead.

"Maybe you should try to sleep." Nathan said laying back down.

"I will." I said leaning my head on his chest. We were silent for awhile and I wasn't sure if he was asleep yet. His breathing was even, but so was mine and I wasn't asleep.

"Hey B." He whispered. He clearly knew I wasn't sleeping.

"Yeah Nate." I whispered back.

"In our happily ever after do you want kids?" He asked and all the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering like crazy. Kids with Nathan would be perfect. My first genuine smile in a long time broke out onto my face.

"Yes there are definitely kids." I said. And even in the dark I knew he was smiling.

**Okay sort of lame ending, but there needed to be a little fluff and Brathan kids?! Omg they would be so cute!! Haha please review I will love you all so much!! Thank you for reading and to everyone who is still with this story it means everything!**


	30. Solving One Problem At A Time

"_Hey B." He whispered. He clearly knew I wasn't sleeping._

"_Yeah Nate." I whispered back._

"_In our happily ever after do you want kids?" He asked and all the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering like crazy. Kids with Nathan would be perfect. My first genuine smile in a long time broke out onto my face._

"_Yes there are definitely kids." I said. And even in the dark I knew he was smiling._

When I woke up the next morning Lucas and Peyton were sitting in the chairs against the wall on my side. Peyton was drawing and Lucas was reading, but I noticed him glance at Peyton every few seconds. I knew that they would keep their promise and be here as soon as I woke up. I loved them so much for it.

"Hey sexy brooding blondes." I said in my usual raspy voice. They both looked up smiling and rushed over to me.

"Brooke how are you feeling?" Peyton asked concerned. I nodded smiling slightly.

"I'm okay. I just want to get out of here." I said honestly untangling myself from Nathan and sitting up. Poor guy he was still sleeping and even when he was completely passed out he still looked like he was in pain. I knew he'd never forgive himself for what happened, but after last night he wouldn't keep shutting down on me. It wasn't his fault.

"I think you should after you get your test results we already talked to the nurse they should be ready soon." Lucas said and just as he finished his sentence the nurse walked in.

"Good you're up." She said happily. I wondered if she had even gone home last night.

"Yeah I just woke up." I said and glanced back at Nathan who was stirring about to wake up.

"Well I can't lie you and Nathan are the cutest couple I've ever seen come through here and that is saying something since I've seen all sorts of married couples having babies and things like that." She said smiling at us. I instantly smiled back.

"I have to admit we are pretty damn adorable." I said jokingly although even a blind person could see how good we looked together.

"Still the same old Brooke." Lucas said grinning. I smiled at him to. It was amazing I could feel joy and happiness when I was sitting in a hospital bed for being raped.

"Are the test results back by chance?" I asked knowing we would have to start talking about it sooner or later.

"Yes they are I came to bring them to you." She said and that got Nathan's full attention.

"And what do they say?" He asked sitting up. She opened the chart are read off what it said.

"The DNA sample read that the seamen of Rick Jameson was inside of victim Brooke Davis. Your exam showed some bleeding and all of the bruising on your stomach and inner thys shows the struggle and your story matches up. The police checked his business history and it showed that he was transferred to Florida then became in touch with your father again. You already knew that though." She said. "We're waiting for him to wake up so he can be officially charged with rape and sexual assault." She finished looking at me. I felt so relieved to know they had proof that he did this. Everything was checking out and he was going to be punished.

"Thank you. I've been wanting to see him in jail for a long time, I just thought once he moved I wouldn't see him again." I said quietly. I felt Nathan grab my hand.

"Well you won't have to worry about him hurting you again." The nurse said. I just realized I didn't know her name.

"Okay good, and by the way what's your name?" I asked grinning a little. She had been so great I wanted to thank her personally.

"Michelle I've been working here for 2 years." She answered. I nodded.

"Thanks Michelle you've been so helpful I'm glad you were the one who was working when I came in." I said honestly. Michelle's face broke out into a true smile I could tell my words touched her.

"Your welcome I'm sorry you went through all of this." She said. If she and I had been the same age I bet we could've been good friends. I figured she was probably in her late twenties.

"I'm just glad it's over now." I said noticing Lucas and Peyton looking sad and relieved. I felt that way as well.

"Me too. If you can excuse me the police from the night before are here I need to show them the results so they have their evidence, I'll be back in to check on you." She said and when I nodded she walked out.

"Thank god Brooke now he'll pay for this." Peyton said hugging me.

"I know this is all I've wanted for so long." I said pulling away. I never wanted to see him again.

"I'm going to go call my mom so she can sign the discharge papers and you can get out of here after Michelle comes back." Lucas said stepping out.

"You know I'm going to go with him so you two can have a minute." Peyton said shutting the door behind her. I turned to Nathan whose expression was a little unreadable.

"Can you believe it?" I asked taking his other hand. He gave me a small smile.

"It's about time." He whispered squeezing my hands then bringing them to his lips.

"Once he wakes up and he's in jail we'll put it behind us. I know we won't forget it, but it won't have to haunt us we can still be happy." I said remembering the mention of kids. I seriously could not wait for that to happen years from now.

"We will and it'll be great. You don't need to go through anymore pain." Nathan said sincerely. I leaned up and kissed his cheek. I was still sore and knew these scars would take a very long time to heal. It somehow seemed better knowing Nathan, Peyton, and Lucas would still be there. However there was still a major problem because Nathan was still married to Haley and he just recently found out Jamie wasn't his son.

"It's always going to be difficult for us to be together." I said sadly. He looked at me like he understood.

"The Haley thing will work itself out. The papers will be finalized hopefully soon after I call a lawyer. I don't want this to be dragged out and hectic. We were both unfaithful and we both lied we're agreeing to this so it shouldn't be a big problem." He explained.

"What about Jamie?" I asked. I knew that boy meant the world to Nathan and I still couldn't believe Haley ever cheated. His eyes momentarily glazed over when he answered.

"He's not my son, but if he ever needs me I'll be there I have to be." Nathan said simply. I hoped he and Haley would end up being okay she was still one of my best friends despite all that's happened and I knew she would never keep Jamie away from Nathan.

"That's so sweet. You'll make a great dad Nathan you already were." I whispered. It was sad thinking about how for all this time he was looking forward to being a dad and then having his hopes crushed. He sighed.

"I really wanted to be a good one. Now we won't know for a few more years, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be with me and Haley if we weren't supposed to end up together then we shouldn't have had a kid together. In the end I think it's better for everyone, and besides I look forward to one day have a little Brooke running around the house driving me crazy just like her mom." He said smiling resting his hand on my thy. I smiled at him.

"Me too. All in due time my love I still have some growing up to do before I can be a mom." I said with a small laugh. His smile mirrored mine.

"I do too, but Haley and I still have a lot to talk about. I'm not going to do any of that until you're out of here and okay." He said. He was right he still had a lot to talk about with her and he needed to do it soon.

"Nathan you can go now if you want." I said. The sooner he did it the better.

"No." He said instantly. "I'm not leaving you now." I sighed realizing that he was thinking of the reason why I was in here and what happened last time he left me alone.

"That won't happen again it's okay Lucas and Peyton are right outside and Karen is on her way. You should talk to Haley and to your mom she probably doesn't know what happened." I told him. He shook his head he was going to be stubborn obviously.

"Nathan I'll be fine." I said determined. I would be there was no way anything would happen to me with Lucas here.

"I don't care who's here I'm not going anywhere." He said seriously. I did think it was really sweet how important it was to him that I was okay, but I did feel strongly about him and Haley talking. I felt bad enough about that whole situation.

"I understand why you want to stay." I said. "I just don't like being your mistress or the other woman whatever it is if you talk to her and get everything figured out we can be together and it will be official and real." I said starting to show some vulnerability. His expression softened a little.

"B that's not it at all." He said. I shrugged my shoulders.

"It is real everything about is completely real and official." Nathan said lightly kissing my lips.

"I know it's just hard and I would feel better knowing where you stood with her." I said looking him in the eyes. We stared for another minute when he sighed in defeat. I knew he was going to talk to her. As soon as I said I would feel better if he talked to her that sealed it.

"Okay I'll go." He finally said. "I'm only going because it'll make you happy I'm not fine with leaving you here." He said irritated. I really just wanted to hug him and thank him for being so protective and caring.

"I know I appreciate it though and if it helps Lucas can stay in here with me and Peyton the entire time you're gone so I'm never alone." I said. I figured those two wouldn't leave me anyway.

"I'll only leave if he promises not to let you out of his site." Nathan said heatedly. I knew this was a big deal for him he wasn't ready to leave me and I loved him for it.

"You can make sure he stays." I said grinning wishing his talk with Haley went smoothly and it could eventually all work out. I knew it was a long shot, Haley didn't know anything about my issues with Rick I only explained how my relationship with Nathan used to be.

"You can tell Haley about me if you want." I said. I was over the difficulty of telling people at this rate all my friends besides Haley knew since I already told Peyton, Nathan, Lucas, Rachel and the nurse who told the cops and Karen. She should know to.

"Only if you're sure you know I won't be able to go into details without beating the shit out of something it will only upset me to talk about you in pain." He said and I saw his eyes go a shade darker. No matter we probably wouldn't ever get all the way passed this. That was going to be difficult for the rest of our lives, but somehow I was determined not to let it ruin our life together.

"Nate you don't have to tell her everything just whatever you want." I offered. He shook his head standing up. This was the first time since his first freakout in the exam room that we haven't been in physical contact I suddenly felt empty. He noticed my change in expression instantly.

"B what's wrong?" He asked worriedly leaning over me.

"I'm fine." I assured him. "Really it was just a little weird not being in contact with you we have been for the past 12 hours and I don't know when you got up I felt different." I explained probably sounding like an idiot. He reached out and touched my face.

"I'm sorry." He said seriously. I put my hand on his.

"Don't worry about it. We can't be touching every second of every day I should be used to it I went 3 years without touching you." I said trying to joke, but it didn't work.

"I can't leave you." He whispered. This would look so strange to anyone who didn't know what was going on. He would only be gone a few hours and we were acting like once he walked out the door we wouldn't ever come back.

"I know, but this needs to be done so please for us will you go take of what you two need to take care of?" I asked. I would miss him every second he was gone.

"Only for us as soon as I'm done I'm coming back here or meeting you wherever you are." Nathan said leaning his forehead on mine.

"Okay call Peyton or Luke's cell and we'll tell you where we are." I said. He nodded silently. The door opened and Lucas and Peyton stopped when they saw mine and Nathan's intimate stare.

"Sorry." Peyton apologized.

"No worries P. Sawyer Nathan was getting ready to leave." I said pulling away from him knowing if I didn't he would never go.

"You're leaving?" Lucas asked shocked. Nathan's jaw clenched if everyone questioned him he would get mad and refuse to leave.

"He has to go talk to Haley about everything then he's coming to find us wherever we are if I'm here he'll come back here or if we go home he'll come straight there." I told them. Peyton nodded in understanding.

"That's probably smart you should figure all of that out with her." She said to him.

"I don't want to go so while I'm gone Lucas you never leave her alone for a second okay?" He said waiting for an answer from his brother.

"Sure no problem I didn't plan on leaving until she did anyway me and Peyton will be right here the whole time." He said knowing Nathan meant it. When Nathan accepted that answer he kissed me on the forehead and said goodbye to the other two and left.

Nathan drove as fast as he could to his house. It would be so weird going in there and seeing Haley and Jamie knowing he couldn't call him son or do what dad's do with their boys. It would take a little bit of time to get used to it forever. He went inside and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw who was sitting on his couch.

"What the fuck are you doing here Keller?" Nathan demanded. Chris immediately stood up and Haley came in holding Jamie. Nathan almost passed out at the site before him. Haley standing next to Chris holding _their _son looking like the perfect family. That made his blood boil.

"I called him." Haley said. Nathan looked at her in disbelief.

"Why so he could storm in here and play daddy?" Nathan yelled.

"I was worried about Haley." Chris said trying to stay calm. He knew well by now that Nathan had a temper and he'd already been punched by him a few times.

"I can't believe this." Nathan said fiercely. Haley sense how upset he was and understood, but they hadn't talked in a few days since he stormed out saying he wanted a divorce.

"Nathan you and I need to talk." She said. Nathan just stared at his wife and her son. He didn't know where they got so fucked up. Truth be told they were never going to end up together not as long as Brooke was in existence, but it hurt like hell to walk into his own house and see this.

"I know that's why I'm here." He said tightly. "I didn't think you would have called him the second you finally decide to tell me Jamie isn't mine." He finished getting pissed off.

"I'm sorry the other night when you ran out of here I had already called him earlier that day, but I hung up and he showed up so I had to tell him everything." Haley said.

"Where's my mom?" He asked ignoring what she said.

"She's with Karen." She answered.

"Whatever Haley you know what I don't need to come here and see this I'm going back to the hospital I'll talk to you about our divorce later." Nathan said slamming the door behind him. Haley ran after him giving Jamie to Chris.

"Nathan who's in the hospital?" She asked coming outside before he left.

"Brooke is she was raped last night Haley and she forced me to come here so we could settle this, because she feels like a bad person for what's happened with the three of us and you know what that just makes what happened to her worse." He said getting in his car and speeding back to Brooke. Being away from her this long was hard enough and he and Haley didn't even have their talk. Nathan was too preoccupied to notice Haley in a car following him to the hospital. Haley didn't know what was going on, but as soon as she heard Brooke got raped nothing else mattered she just needed to be there with her friend.

**Hey so that's all for now. I apologize a million times I hate not updating ever, but please forgive me and leave a review. I understand if any of you are mad, but it means everything to know what you think. I promise to make more time to update anything I can say is an excuse so I won't bother. I hope you all loved it if you have any questions feel free to ask. =)**

**Xoxo Marissa **


	31. Concluding Relationships

**Hello my favorite people in the world!! I'm back with the next chapter so please sit back and enjoy and a huge thanks goes out to all you amazing people who are still reading this!**

"_Whatever Haley you know what I don't need to come here and see this I'm going back to the hospital I'll talk to you about our divorce later." Nathan said slamming the door behind him. Haley ran after him giving Jamie to Chris._

"_Nathan who's in the hospital?" She asked coming outside before he left._

"_Brooke is she was raped last night Haley and she forced me to come here so we could settle this, because she feels like a bad person for what's happened with the three of us and you know what that just makes what happened to her worse." He said getting in his car and speeding back to Brooke. Being away from her this long was hard enough and he and Haley didn't even have their talk. Nathan was too preoccupied to notice Haley in a car following him to the hospital. Haley didn't know what was going on, but as soon as she heard Brooke got raped nothing else mattered she just needed to be there with her friend._

Nathan was back at the hospital in record time. He flew through the doors but stopped when he heard Haley call his name.

"Who did this? Who would ever rape Brooke?" She asked panicked coming up behind him.

"It's a long story Haley what are you doing here?" He asked coldly. After seeing her and Chris with Jamie he was pissed and given the current situation with Brooke he was still depressed and pissed about that.

"I came to see how she was I'm worried." Haley answered honestly. Nathan sighed sitting down in the waiting room expecting Haley to join him. She sat down in the chair next to him.

"Okay I'll tell you but you can't interrupt because it's a long and depressing story." He explained to her. She nodded in understanding.

"Basically when Brooke was 9 one of her dad's business associates took advantage of her at a Christmas party." He started and saw Haley's eyes well up.

"Yeah I kind of freaked out when she told me." Nathan said and Haley just stayed there waiting for him to continue.

"It didn't stop after that he came back a lot and even though we were best friends at the time I didn't notice." He said heatedly still mad at himself for never seeing anything was wrong with her.

"It lasted until she was 13, but he got transferred to Florida and Brooke thought he was out of her life, but last night he showed up at her apartment because her parents sent him to get a box of files that they left before they moved." Nathan explained.

"If he got transferred to Florida and her parents moved to California how did he stay in contact with them?" Haley asked.

"I don't know when but after some time he got back in business with her dad in California and when her dad realized that he needed those files Rick volunteered to come get them from Brooke and when he did he raped her just like he did for all those years." He said tearing up. Haley's tears slipped out thinking about her friend going through that for years alone. She knew her parents were never around.

"Why didn't she call the cops or tell anyone if you guys were best friends why didn't she tell you?" Haley asked desperately. Nathan shook his head miserably.

"I don't know Haley." He whispered. "She said he threatened to kill her and she was scared, but I wish she would have told me then we never would have stopped being friends and I could have helped her." Haley looked at him and saw the regret in his eyes.

"If she told you we never would have gotten married." She pointed out. He looked at her painfully and nodded.

"I love you Haley, but it just doesn't compare." He admitted sadly. Haley couldn't do anything but nod. It was a mess and making sense of it was beyond difficult.

"Do you regret us? Please just tell me if you do." She said needing to know the truth.

"You made me a better person Haley, but honestly if Brooke and I hadn't stopped being like we were then I wouldn't have been a bad person in the first place. When we ended I broke and started being an ass; I stopped caring about anything and when I met you, you were so kind and it was almost impossible to not be good around you." Nathan said staring at her. She sobbed into her hands.

"I love you Nathan." He could barely hear her but put a comforting hand on her back.

"You love Chris." He said knowingly. She lifted her face and took in his expression. He was hurt and sad and she didn't know if them ending their marriage hurt him as much as knowing Brooke was raped did.

"I didn't mean to, but he gave me my dream and along the way I got to the point where I couldn't stop thinking about him." Haley admitted.

"Why did you come back after the tour?" He always wondered if her love for him was the real reason or if she felt guilty for leaving.

"I loved you and it really hurt me knowing I hurt you so badly." She said knowing that no matter what they admitted or said they were really over.

"It wasn't what you wanted. You wanted to be on stage with him I know you miss it." Nathan said.

"I do, but I'll never go back on tour not with Jamie." She spoke softly of her son. The son that Nathan wished was his, but would have to learn to accept wasn't.

"What if we worked out a deal?" He asked. She looked at him questioningly.

"When you and Chris go back on tour you let me watch him." He spoke with a spark in his eye at the idea. Haley opened her mouth to protest but Nathan put his hand up to stop her.

"Just think about it. I know I'm not his dad, but you're right you can't look after him on tour and if he's here with all of us you know he'll be safe." Nathan explained. At this point Haley didn't even know if another tour was available for her and Chris, but she'd be lying if she said the idea didn't thrill her to her core. If it ever came up and they had to go she knew she could always trust Nathan.

"You'll be a great dad one day Nathan Scott." She said smiling.

"Thanks, I guess I wasn't meant to be one yet." He said smiling sadly.

"I'm so sorry Nathan I didn't plan on ever hurting you and it seems like it's all I did when we were married." Haley said tearing up again.

"It wasn't all you. Everything you did hurt, but I was in love with Brooke the whole time. It was just a really screwed up situation." Nathan said so she would understand. They both knew it wasn't going to work.

"I want you to know I forgive you for cheating on me with Brooke." Haley said honestly wiping her tears as Nathan rubbed her back.

"Well I forgive you for cheating on me with Chris." Nathan said with a laugh at how fucked up this whole thing was. Haley laughed too.

"I guess we all do things we're not proud of." She said embarrassed.

"People make mistakes Haley it's just who we are, but I think it's for the best that you let me call the lawyer so we can have a clean divorce." He said wondering how she'd react.

"That's fine I'll need to find a new place to live since Brooke and Peyton are living in our old apartment and we're currently at your mom's house." She said thinking of how awkward that is.

"You can stay until you find a place I'm not going to kick you out." Nathan said and Haley appreciated how nice he was being.

"It's too weird but thank you I can stay with Lucas. Jamie and me will be fine there. We can bond with Karen and Lilly." She said trying to force a smile.

"If that's what you want to do you can." He said shrugging. "So where is Chris going to stay?" Nathan asked.

"We haven't figured that out he slept on the couch last night so when I leave he can stay at a hotel or something." She said not having a clue what they were really going to do.

"If I ever go on tour again I'd be lucky to have someone like you watching over Jamie." She said standing up looking at him.

"Someone like me or me?" Nathan said smiling standing up repeating the same thing Haley had said years ago to him.

"You already know the answer to that." She said smiling remembering that they had just begun dating when they had that conversation. Back then things were very different.

"We'll be okay we just need time to get used to it." Nathan whispered looking down on his wife, soon to be ex wife.

"We're really over." She stated sadly.

"Yeah we are." He agreed reaching out to her. She accepted his hug and held on another minute before letting him go. Nathan gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead.

"We had a good run for the most part." He said trying to lighten the way too darkened mood.

"Lots of good memories." She agreed. "I think I need to see Brooke now so I can tell her you are all hers and that she doesn't need to worry."

"She'd love to see you." He said knowing feeling his heart ache knowing she was still in the hospital.

"That Rick guy who did this, he's in jail now right?" Haley asked hoping he would be out of her friend's life for good. Nathan tensed and Haley noticed him go completely stiff.

"What is it, where is he?" She asked worried.

"I walked in on him raping her." Nathan said miserably. Haley's mouth fell open wondering what he did seeing something that horrible.

"I snapped and almost killed him." He said and Haley's heart broke thinking of how much it hurt Nathan to see that. After this talk watching him talk about Brooke she knew he loved her more than anything.

"He's here I beat him pretty badly. I brought him when I brought Brooke and he's on the other side of the hospital the cops are waiting for him to wake up so they can take him to jail. Sexual assault and rape, but I'm not getting into trouble for defending her." He informed her.

"Good you probably saved her Nathan. Who knows what else he would've done if you didn't show up." Haley said trying to make him feel better.

"I should have been there." Nathan said brokenly. Haley hugged him again.

"She doesn't blame you." Haley said not having talked to Brooke but knowing her friend wouldn't want Nathan blaming himself.

"She keeps saying I can't blame myself but no matter what I always will. If I had been there I would have never let him touch her." Nathan said getting teary eyed again leaning into her.

"As long as she's okay that's all you need to focus on. Don't worry about why she's in here or what happened to her just focus on her getting better and being there for her. After going through something as traumatic as that she'll need you to be strong and be there for her." Haley sternly said. "I'll be there for her too she won't go through this alone."

Nathan pulled back looking at her knowing she was right.

"Okay." He said nodding. He would stop shutting himself down, it would be almost impossible not to blame himself but he would try for Brooke's sake.

"Thank you." He said forcing a smile. "I needed to hear that again."

"Sure. Now point me in the direction of my friend I need to see if she's okay." Haley said nervously. She wanted Brooke to be okay but was worried that she'd break down and cry seeing Brooke in a state like that. She could only imagine how much Peyton bawled seeing her very best friend like that.

"It's this way." He said leading the way. When they approached the desk near Brooke's room the reception from the previous night was still there. Nathan gave her a weak smile as she nodded knowing where he was going. She had heard he refused to leave Brooke's side and knew Michelle let it slide and broke that one rule for Nathan.

"Brace yourself." Nathan said seriously. Haley nodded preparing herself. He opened the door and they both stood there watching Lucas, Peyton and Brooke laughing hysterically.

"Oh my god Peyton I can't believe you still remember that!" Brooke said throwing her head back shaking with laughter. Peyton was sitting next to her holding her hand trying not to cry.

"Of course B. Davis we couldn't stop talking about it for a month afterwards." She barely gasped out from laughing so hard.

"I wish I knew you both back then, but then again you two sound insane talking about your memories." Lucas said with a huge grin once his laughter subsided.

"Um hey guys." Nathan said making his and Haley's presence known. At that point they were both smiling at the group on the bed laughing. The three of them looked at Nathan and Haley.

"Hey." I said smiling at Nathan and Haley. They were standing in the doorway. I wondered how their talk went, but seeing them standing there they looked relieved and confused.

"How are you Brooke?" Haley asked walking further into the room.

"I'm okay a little surprised to see you here." I said honestly. Nathan came in and pulled the chair up to the bed so he was next to Peyton.

"I followed Nathan after he told me you were in the hospital. I'm so sorry Brooke I didn't know you went through so much." She said replacing Lucas's spot on the left side of Brooke. He stood up looking at Haley and Brooke hugging with the hope their group would still remain friends after all they've been through.

"I didn't tell anyone." I whispered into her hair. I felt Peyton hand on my back and appreciated Haley coming here for me.

"I hope you're going to be okay and Nathan said when Rick wakes up they'll take him to jail." Haley said with hopeful eyes.

"Yeah he hurt him pretty badly but it all worked out and the cops are going to take him away forever." I told her.

"Good when can you leave here?" She asked.

"Today, Karen should actually be here soon to sign the discharge papers and I'll go back to the apartment." I said sneaking a glance at Nathan. He had only said that one thing since they got here.

"Is there anything I can do?" Haley asked as her natural mother instincts kicked in.

"I'm good but thank you." I said. "Where's Jamie?" I asked hoping that bringing him up didn't upset Nathan. I only assumed they talked about him.

"He's with Chris at the house." She said quietly thinking the same thing as me. I shifted from the sitting position because I was tired and wanted to lay down, but when I did my thys and private parts started aching and I winced having quick flashbacks of Rick through the years breaking me, hurting me. I sucked in a quick breath. I couldn't really concentrate on anything, but I felt strong arms encircle me as I struggled to breath.

"You're okay B I promise not to let him hurt you." Nathan whispered kissing the side of my head. My erratic breathing started to calm down. I shut my eyes tightly.

"Nathan." I whimpered opening my eyes seeing Lucas, Haley, and Peyton wrecked with worry.

"It's going to be okay I won't let you go." I heard the determination in his hard voice. I grabbed onto his arms needing that contact.

"Promise you won't leave." I begged as the tears welled up. I hated myself for letting this happen again.

"I promise." He said holding me tight, but not so it hurt me. Lucas had left to get Michelle and she came in with Karen.

"Brooke are you okay?" Karen asked worried. I took in a deep breath and nodded still holding onto Nathan.

"I switched positions and it really hurt my thys and that whole area." I struggled to say.

"I'm sorry that's going to be very sore and your stomach will remain sore and bruised, but I'll give you pain medication so you feel better." Michelle said leaving to get the medicine.

"Is there anything we can do?" Peyton asked approaching the bed slowly.

"No P. Sawyer I just had a bunch of bad memories that came back to me at once and I freaked out." I said putting my palm on my forehead trying to get rid of my blossoming headache.

"We're trying to get you out of here as fast as possible." Karen said standing with Lucas and Haley.

"Thanks." I said looking at everyone. I was praying that I would completely break from this but I did. I would need all the help I could get from the people in this room to finally truly be okay. Nathan kissed my forehead and I relaxed. I looked up and saw Haley looking at us.

"Haley I'm sorry." I said trying to get out of Nathan's grasp. It wasn't fair to throw this affair in her face, but when I tried to move Nathan held on not letting me go.

"No Brooke it's okay you need him." She said finally understanding fully now seeing them together that they couldn't not be together. "Don't worry about it."

"Okay." I said in a daze. This was going to be very difficult for me but as more time passed I grew more tired and after Michelle gave me my medicine I passed out in a blissful dreamless slumber knowing that when I woke up Nathan's arms would still be wrapped around me.

**Yay so finally another update!! HAHA please review it means a lot!**

**Xoxo Marissa**


	32. Getting Used To Being A Victim

**I'm back from the dead people!! I can't even tell you how sorry I am for not updating this. I mean Jesus it's been 7 months!! Who does that?!?! Well I'm back with a new chapter I hope any of you like it enough to continue reading this and review when you're done. I'd definitely be okay with you saying that you hate me for taking so long to update. Haha please enjoy.**

"_No Brooke it's okay you need him." She said finally understanding fully now seeing them together that they couldn't not be together. "Don't worry about it."_

"_Okay." I said in a daze. This was going to be very difficult for me but as more time passed I grew more tired and after Michelle gave me my medicine I passed out in a blissful dreamless slumber knowing that when I woke up Nathan's arms would still be wrapped around me._

I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep when I awoke and noticed that I was still in the hospital. There wasn't a clock and none of my friends were in here anymore, but I felt weight from behind me and relaxed automatically knowing it was Nathan. His even breathing told me that he had fallen asleep too, and I was happy he was finally getting some sleep. As stressful as this whole thing has been on me it's taken a tremendous toll on him as well.

That medicine Michelle had given me worked, because when I shifted it didn't hurt like it had earlier. That was bad I felt like it was happening all over again.

"Brooke." I heard Nathan mumble. I turned around so I could face him. His eyes were still closed so he must be sleep talking.

"Brooke." He said again so I took his hand letting him know I was here. Nathan squeezed my hand and I wondered what was going on in his head.

"Nathan." I whispered squeezing his hand back.

"Brooke." He whispered with a smile on his face, and seeing that put a smile on mine.

"I'm right here." I said kissing his forehead. His arm snaked around my waist pulling me on top of him. Even in his sleep he was so strong.

"Nathan." I said startled that he actually pulled me down. His eyes shot wide open filled with worry and concerned.

"What's wrong?" He asked alarmed.

"Nothing." I assured him quickly. "You surprised me that' s all."

"What did I do?" He asked panicked, "I didn't hurt you did I?" I shook my head telling him no.

"You were talking in your sleep." I told him with a grin. His eyebrows rose at that.

"What was I saying?" He asked with a smirk that had me thinking he remembered exactly what he was dreaming about.

"You repeated my name over and over." I said teasingly, as his smile grew bigger and bigger.

"Did I say anything else?" He wondered out loud.

"Nope just my name." I told him.

"I was dreaming about you naked." He said raising his eyebrows suggestively. My face broke out into a blush picturing him the same way. Only he could do this to me, at this point the fact that I was in the hospital was the farthest thing from my mind.

"Did you like what you saw?" I asked taunting him. His cocky ass smirk grew at the turn our conversation was taking.

"Very much." He said in a hushed voice. I nodded placing my lips right above his. Nathan filled the space between us kissing me hard on the lips.

"That is one thing that I will never get sick of." I said breathlessly when we pulled apart.

"You know this is now the third time I've walked in on you guys either kissing or fucking and I've got to say that I'm not as creeped out as I should be." Peyton said from the doorway. I turned my head and noticed she was laughing.

"Maybe if you knocked then that wouldn't be an issue Peyton." Nathan said mock glaring at her.

"Whatever Scott maybe if you could keep your hands to yourself for one minute then I wouldn't be exposed to your guy's sexfest all the time." She said exasperated as she sat in the chair. I laughed lightly at her tone.

"I'm sorry P. Sawyer I promise you won't see anymore." I said in a baby voice and she smiled taking my hand. I could feel the light mood shifting like it always does.

"How are you feeling?" She asked and just like that all joking was gone, my fantasies involving Nathan were gone and I was right back into reality where I'm a rape victim being treated in the hospital.

"Fine." I said monotone. The truth is even if Nathan and me continued our little talk it wouldn't last. I got carried away last night and he stopped me so I knew it would probably be awhile before we had sex again. After being raped that should be the last thing on my mind, but after it happened to me so often I just blocked it out any time I did it with anyone, especially Nathan. He made me feel special not like he was only using me for my body, but he made me feel loved and I just wanted that feeling all the time.

"B?" Nathan questioned hearing my tone. I shook my head and sighed.

"I do feel better that pain medication worked, but I want to leave and forget all about this." I said in a small voice. Nathan rubbed my arms making me feel warm and Peyton's smile never left her face.

"Karen filled out all the paper work that's why I came in here. You're free to go." She said happily. My lips curled upward looking forward to leaving here and the disgusting man who put me here.

"Thank god we can go." I said leaning up with Nathan's assistance.

"I brought clothes for you to change into." Something in Peyton's voice made me study her expression. She still had that smile on her face, but she sounded off.

"What is it?" I asked and she bit her lip. I knew she only did that when she was nervous because that was my nervous habit too.

"When we got the clothes we saw the room." Peyton whispered. My mind immediately clicked with what she meant and just like before Nathan was stone on this bed with me.

"The blood." I muttered as my eyes welled up remembering the attack and hearing Nathan almost kill Rick. Peyton nodded her head up and down.

"It really shook me and Lucas, but we managed to get almost all of it off the wall however the carpet still has a stain." She told us.

"The red carpet has a blood stain." I said trying not to choke on a sob.

"We really tried." Peyton said sadly. "Lucas got most of it off the wall, and I tried scrubbing the carpet but I guess I didn't use the right stuff or something because it's still there."

"Thank you Peyton." I whispered. She hugged me gently setting my clothes on top of the blankets.

"If you don't want to go there until everything is clean again I understand we can do whatever you want." Peyton said putting both of her hands on the sides of my bruised face.

"Maybe Lucas's." I suggested knowing if I went back to the apartment right now I'd have a nervous breakdown and probably never recover.

"Yes that's fine he suggested that while we were cleaning Nathan's car too." She said smiling at the idea.

"You guys cleaned my car?" Nathan's voice surprised me. He wasn't so tense anymore and I was relieved that he wasn't going to keep shutting down on me.

"It was the only thing we could think to do to help." She shrugged. She and Lucas were both amazing people.

"You are the greatest friend ever." I stressed trying to stand up holding onto both Nathan and Peyton.

"You deserve the best Brooke." Peyton said honestly.

"Sometimes I'm not so sure." I whispered so quietly only Peyton heard me. She looked at me alarmed, but covered it up immediately.

"Hey Nate can you go tell everyone that I'm going to help Brooke change then we'll be ready to go?" She asked him.

"Are you sure you don't need my help?" He asked not wanting to leave.

"It's okay we'll only be a minute." I said to him in a loving voice. He leaned in and kissed my forehead like I had done to him earlier and quietly walked out of the room.

"What's going on in your head B. Davis?" She gently asked me untying my hospital gown.

"I'm exhausted." I said in a tired voice.

"Once we get out of here you can sleep the rest of the day and night." Peyton said slowly turning me around seeing all the horrific damage for the first time. Like I expected she gasped in horror seeing my stomach covered in black and purple bruises. My legs where the gown was covering were now exposed and she saw the blood stain on them as well as more bruising.

"I don't even know what to say Brooke." She admitted ashamed.

"No one just knows how to deal with this stuff it's fine." I said looking down embarrassed. Contrary to what everyone has always thought about me I feel embarrassed any time I just strip down in front of someone, and now especially when I look like this the only few people who I would be comfortable enough to look like this in front of are Peyton and Nathan. They've been there the longest and I trust them the most. I love Lucas and Haley too, but I think I'd be too much of a mess in front of them like this.

"It's not fine I need to be here for you and know when to say all the right things to make you feel better and do all the things that make you happy." Peyton explained trying not to break down. At this point I just cried without trying to stop myself I was so emotionally fucked up at the moment I didn't care.

"You're doing everything right I couldn't ask for a better sister." I said emotionally putting my arms through the sleeves of the pink t-shirt she brought me.

"I could never ask for a better sister Brooke." She said kneeling down accepting my dirty underwear that I pushed down my legs she helped me into a clean pair and then some gray sweat pants that hung loose on me so there wasn't any added pressure to my bruises.

"You always deserve better I still can't believe this happened to you." Peyton said wiping her damp cheeks.

"It's one of the worst pains you can ever feel." I said honestly opening up to Peyton.

"I'm sure it is so I want to make sure that you stay on top of taking your medicine so that you never have to feel that pain again." She said placing her hands on my shoulders. I knew when psycho Derek attacked her she'd been hurt pretty bad and then the second time on prom it was very bad again, so she could almost relate to me, but not quite. She wouldn't know what it was like to feel like you were the most worthless thing on the planet. Or know what it felt like to be truly alone. Because when I had no one she had Nathan, and then when I had Lucas she had him more. And then again when Peyton had Lucas, and Haley had Nathan I had no one. Well I guess I had Rick. That was the only thing I could count on was him finding me and hurting me.

"Brookie?" Peyton questioned in a light voice. I looked at her with a cloudy vision.

"I space out sorry." I apologized and she shook her head furiously back and forth.

"You have nothing to be sorry for I'm taking care of you and everything is going to okay I promise you." She said determined. I looked into her green eyes and believed her. No matter what either one of us has done to the other I know she will be there and there will never be a question about that, because even when I hated her and wanted her out of my life she was still always there. She's never going to leave me.

"That's all I've ever wanted." I said sobbing and holding onto her. Peyton was definitely trying to be gentle holding me, but I had a death grip on her as we both sobbed for the millionth time together.

Later that night I got discharged and we went to Luke's house. As soon as we got there Karen offered me a shower and helped me get ready for it with the assistance from Peyton. I took an extremely long shower just letting the hot water cleanse me. I couldn't help it I felt so dirty after everything Rick had done. I knew it wasn't my fault, but I still feel like I should have prevented this and not just the most recent attack. Back when I was nine he was way too strong and after each time he raped me a little piece of me died and after awhile I wanted to give up. I stopped feeling all together and let it happen because I thought there was no way to stop it.

One of the best days of my life was when he got transferred to a different department that was in Florida. I finally thought I was free, but just like any other good thing in my life it had to get ruined.

I stepped out of the shower and took my time drying myself off being gentle around all the sensitive spots. I stared at myself for a minute until a knock at the door brought me out of my trance. Not seeming to mind that I was only in a towel at this point I tentatively opened the door to Lucas who was holding a small pile of clothes that Peyton had brought from the apartment.

"I also thought you might want this." He said sweetly as he pulled out his gray sweatshirt that said "Keith's Body Shop" on it. I obviously knew what that sweatshirt meant to him and smiled at the memory of the times I wore it while we were dating.

"Thank you." I whispered accepting the clothes.

"Anytime Pretty Girl." Lucas smiled and I nodded shutting the door to change.

I walked into Lucas's room to find Nathan and Peyton arm wrestling. I immediately broke out into a smile because Peyton was doing some serious trash talking.

"You're pathetic Scott where are the muscles?" She joked and he just smirked at her and I knew what was coming. He forced her hand down hard on top of the bed.

"What were you saying Sawyer?" He taunted and I loved seeing him look care free even if it was for a few minutes at a time.

"I let you win." Peyton dismissed earning a laugh from Lucas and Nathan.

"I bet Brooke would beat all of you." Karen said from behind me while she held Lilly. Everyone turned to look at us.

"I'd put my money on Brooke any day." Peyton shot up and came over to me.

"How was your shower?" She asked concerned. Peyton was a born mom I couldn't wait for her to actually have kids.

"It felt great." I responded honestly. It was exactly what I needed.

"You look good." Peyton said positively and I knew she was trying to make this all better, but we all could see that I did not look good.

"Not as good as you Goldilocks." I joked and she rolled her eyes playfully at me.

"Whatever B. Davis." She said and planted a light kiss on my cheek before going back to sit with Lucas on his bed.

"Do you want something to eat Brooke?" Karen asked and at the moment nothing sounded that good, but I couldn't remember the last time I ate anything.

"Yeah but I don't know what I want." I laughed and she just smiled that understanding smile of hers.

"I know just what to make you, I've made it for Lucas all his life any time he wasn't feeling that great and it always made him feel better." Karen said looking at him. I saw him nod at her indicating that was what she should make.

"It's perfect mom." He said. Just as she turned to leave I stopped her.

"Everything okay?" She asked and I had to love her for her motherly instincts.

"I'm fine...I was just wondering if while you made the food...could I hold Lilly?" I asked embarrassed. Before Jamie was the only baby I'd ever held so I didn't have the most experience, but I knew what to do. When Karen didn't say anything I thought she was going to reject me, but she handed Lilly over without a word.

I positioned her so her head was on my shoulder while she slept and I looked at Karen who looked on proudly at me. For the first time in my life I felt like I had done something right and had a mother to be proud of me.

"I'll be back in to check on you guys after awhile." Karen said and it looked like she was choking up a little bit. In return I saw Peyton tear up and before you knew it so was I.

"Peyton if we cry anymore today I think it'll be a world record." I said joining the others on the bed. Lilly was so content and I finally relaxed leaning my head on Nathan's shoulder while he rubbed Lillie's back gently.

"This picture looks pretty perfect." Peyton whispered to Lucas who nodded in agreement.

"I don't know how we all got so messed up but I do love where we all are now." Lucas whispered back as he noticed both Nathan and Brooke falling asleep.

"Is Haley coming over?" Peyton asked.

"I told her that we were all here, but she's with Chris and Jamie." He responded.

"Do you think she's still getting hurt by this?" Peyton wondered out loud. "I mean she saw them at the hospital and Nathan said they had a good talk."

"I don't think Haley will ever be completely over this, but I don't think Nathan will either. Too much has happened between them and I know that they aren't in love anymore so it would ruin their lives to force themselves to be together." Lucas reasoned.

"It is a messed up situation, but it does seem right." Peyton mused and then she smiled as Nathan's hand found Brooke's on the bed while her other hand stayed put on Lillie's back.

"I think for the first time ever, everyone is with who they're supposed to be with. And with our pasts it doesn't seem like that would ever happen." Lucas laughed and Peyton joined in.

"I hope she's okay." Peyton sighed as she noticed movement under Brooke's eye lids.

"It might take a little time but she'll be fine. She's a fighter." Lucas said with certainty.

"She's definitely going to make something of herself someday and the world doesn't even know it." She said never letting her eyes leave her best friend.

"Oh the world is about to be taken for the ride of a life time with Brooke Davis telling everyone what to do." He said knowing that he wrote that in his book about her.

"So what's your mom making that's so special?" Peyton asked having a feeling it would be delicious since Karen was such a great cook.

"Spaghettios!" Lucas laughed. Peyton's eyes grew wide not believing him.

"What?" She asked smiling.

"Every time I got sick or didn't feel well about something she would make me those and I'd feel better and go play basketball then I'd be fine." Lucas explained.

"Wow that's awesome." Peyton agreed picturing the whole thing perfectly. "My mom used to make me spaghettios."

"It's the one thing that can make anyone feel better." Lucas said as his mom came in with a tray full of bowls with steaming spaghettios in them. Peyton jumped up to grab it from her.

"Those two are adorable together." Karen commented as she watched the sleeping teenagers hold her daughter together.

"I don't know how I never saw it earlier." Peyton said handing Lucas his bowl.

"Sometimes we don't know that the love of our lives are right in front of us until the very last second." Karen whispered looking at the resemblance between Lilly and Keith.

"He always loved you." Lucas said holding one of Peyton's hands and one of his mom's hands. Karen smiled sadly and kissed his hand before releasing it.

"I'm just glad you four have figured it out now so that there won't be any confusion later on." She said watching her son smile at his girlfriend. "And for the record Peyton I knew he loved you back when he was 12 and he saw you playing at the park. He couldn't stop talking about the little girl with the curly blonde hair."

"Mom come on!" Lucas defended as the girls laughed.

"I've known since the day he fixed my car on the side of the road when I was 16." Peyton reminisced.

"Yeah Keith was going to take the call, but as soon as he said Peyton Sawyer's car broke down I took the keys right out of his hand." Lucas laughed.

"I think we should let them sleep, but they can eat when they wake up." Karen suggested taking the tray with Nathan and Brooke's bowls on it.

"We'll come out with you and leave them alone." Lucas said as he ushered them out of the room leaving his brother, sister, and ex-girlfriend now best friend alone to get some much needed peaceful sleep.

**Yes another somewhat filler chapter, but next time things will be picked up farther in the summer! Please drop a review even though it's been so long. =) I love you guys and thanks so much for tolerating me and my absence!! **


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